hen the Prussians 
Came to Poland 



Laura de Turc^nowxGZ, 



Class t 




Book 



10 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSfR 



Digitized by the Internet Archive 
in 2011 with funding from 
The Library of Congress 



http://www.archive.org/details/whenprussianscamOOturc 










1 I 



« c 



a +3 
« 3 



When the Prussians 
Game to Poland 

The Experiences of an American Woman 
during the German Invasion 



By 

Laura de Gozdawa Turczy 



Illustrated 



G. P. Putnam's Sons 

New York and London 

Cbe Iknicfterbocfter fl>re0s 

1916 



'AQ 






Copyright, 1916 

BY 

G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS 



Ubc 1ftn(cI:erboc!:er press, IRcw )|)orfe 

Dt'C 23 \m 

©CI.A453218 

"WO I . 






Go 

MY SONS 

WHEN THEY SHALL HAVE REACHED MANHOOD. 



INTRODUCTION 

I have written our story because so many people 
have asked me to. Also, in the hope of helping 
Poland. She is worthy of help, martyred, de- 
vastated, trodden under the Prussian boot as 
she is ! 

The wife of a gallant Pole now serving humanity 
with the Russian Army as inspector-in-chief of the 
Sanitary Engineers, and the mother of two sons, to 
say nothing of a dear little daughter, I have the 
cause of Poland at heart! Much pressure has 
been brought to bear upon me, that I should 
advocate the sending of food into Poland. I can- 
not, in the light of my own experiences do so. 
Under the existing circumstances I know it would 
not be the Poles who would eat the bread sent 
them! 

After the war is over, those still alive, the fittest 
who survive, will need quick and generous help 
from America — seeds to plant their fields, imple- 
ments to use in cultivating them. Before the 



vi Introduction 

war my husband worked so hard to help the 
peasants; to educate them, to teach them how to 
get the most out of their bits of land. How often 
I have driven with him away off to some tiny 
village, where the people would be gathered in 
the school, to hear how to plant their fields, their 
good kind faces weather-beaten, and showing the 
difficulty of their struggle with nature! 

In Suwalki there was a Polish club, an agricultu- 
ral society, with a fine building, where agricultural 
machines might be rented, or people helped in 
buying. Noble and peasant could borrow money 
to improve their land. How painful it was to 
see those machines dragged off to East Prussia, 
knowing the effort it had cost to get them! 

Poland was in a wonderful state of evolution 
just before the war broke out. Surely it is only 
hindered, not stopped! 

As a New York girl, I am afraid I knew very 
little about agriculture, but from the frequent 
journeys with my husband, and hearing his 
lectures as a Professor of the old Polish University 
in Cracow, I learned a little, and to love the 
peasants, as he did. It was a different life I 




Madame Laura de Gozdawa Turczynowicz 

(nee Blackwell) 
From a photograph by Newman, New York 



Introduction vii 

stepped into after my marriage. I had left 
America like so many girls, to study and sing in 
Europe, but, after three years, work and play, 
married a Polish nobleman, and have never 
regretted it, for until the war separated us, not 
only by miles, but armies, I was happy as few 
women are. However, we have suffered — there 
must be an end! I have not looked Death in the 
eyes so often without learning to be patient, and 
wait. 

Laura de Gozdawa Turczynowicz. 

New York, 1916. 



CONTENTS 



Introduction .... 

CHAPTER 

I. — How the War Came to us in 
Poland . 

II. — The First Days 

III. — The First Patients . 

IV. — An Aeroplane Visits us — and a 
Crippled Lazarette 

V. — Unrest 

VI. — Evacuation 

VII.— The Flight 

VIII. — Journeying Farther 

IX. — Warsaw 

X. — We Arrive in Russia 

XI. — I See my Home once more 

XII. — The Surrounding Country 

XIII. — Off to Galicia . 



PAGE 

V 



I 
II 

18 

22 
27 
32 

37 
47 
55 
62 

65 
76 
80 



Contents 



CHAPTER 

XIV.- 

XV.- 

XVI.- 

XVII.- 

XVIII.- 

XIX.- 

XX.- 

XXI.- 
XXII.- 

XXIII.- 





PAGE 


-Back to Suwalki 


8 9 


The Germans Occupy Suwalki 


99 


-The Occupation 


119 


-Typhus! 


135 


-The Children Recover 


142 


-The Prisoners . 


153 


-The Conditions among the 


Military Prisoners 


164 


-The Captain Returns 


• 173 



The Lives of the Townspeople . 178 

185 



-The Sale of Alcohol is once 
more Permitted 



XXIV. — In Trouble through 
dren 



XXV. — Whitsuntide 
XXVI. — A New Petition 
XXVIL— A New Friend . 
XXVIII. — Prussian Justice 
XXIX. — Civil Government 
XXX. — In the Russian Hospital 

XXXI. — The Prussian Treatment of 
their own . 



THE 



Chil- 



190 

197 

204 
210 
216 

222 
228 

233 



Contents xi 

CHAPTER PAGE 

XXXII. — After the Fall of Warsaw . 238 

XXXIII. — Proclamations! .... 244 

XXXIV.— Release! 252 

XXXV.— The Journey . . . .260 

( XXXVI.— Freedom! 271 



ILLUSTRATIONS 

PACK 

The Author and her Children in America 
after their escape from poland 

Frontispiece 

Madame Laura de Gozdawa Turczynowicz 

{nee Blackwell) ..... vi 

From a photograph, by Newman, New York. 

A Corner in the Home Gardens . . 2 
Stanislaw de Gozdawa Turczynowicz . 30 

The Husband of the Author. 

Baby Wanda and her Polish Nurses in 
Cracow Costume . . . 56 

The Author in Red Cross Uniform . . 82 

Facsimile of Russian Red Cross Certificate 84 

A Curious "Sanitary Passport" Issued to 

the Author by the Germans . . 256 

xiii 



xiv Illustrations 

PAGE 

Facsimile of the German Passport Issued 
to the Author ..... 262 

Stanislaw de Gozdawa Turczynowicz . 278 

Inspector-General of Sanitary Engineers. 



When the Prussians 
Game to Poland 



When the Prussians Came to 
Poland 



CHAPTER I 

HOW THE WAR CAME TO US IN POLAND 

Very near the borderline between Russia and 
Germany lies Suwalki. It was a delightful, old- 
fashioned spot full of homes, and with many 
estates in the neighbourhood. As one says in 
Polish, there were there very many of the "intel- 
ligence," meaning the noble class. People who 
were proud of the heirlooms, the old and valuable 
furniture, the beautiful pictures and books con- 
tained in their homes. 

Into this old-world peace, came war, and of the 
homes and people, there is left only destruction 
and hopeless grey misery. How well I remember, 
and with what astonishment I think upon all 

that was before war was declared. 

i 



a How tHe "War Came to Us 

Is it possible that there in Poland peace once 
was? That one's home was one's own, — that no 
strange men came to peer into all one's belong- 
ings, and take what they could manage to carry- 
away, destroying the rest? That, once upon a 
time, the people might smile? Say what they 
would, go out or stay at home as it pleased them 
to do? That there was no hunger, — that they 
might go into a shop and buy food for their little 
children with no possibility of refusal or being 
told that the goods so invitingly displayed were 
only for the military? That there should have 
been light and heat and medicine for the sick, and 
comfort for the dying? Was there such a time 
when the people dared to breathe and, with won- 
derful Slavic gaiety, throw off the troubles, which 
now seem nothing, and be happy? With eyes and 
heart full of war visions, it seems to me there 
never was a time when any one smiled in all that 
unhappy, martyred land. 

For that summer of 1914, we had settled our- 
selves, after a short sojourn in Suwalki, following 
a winter in Nice, in a most delightful spot — a 
brand new villa on the edge of the great Augustowo 




u 



How tKe "War Came to Us 3 

Lakes in the heart of the wonderful forest. A 
more beautiful spot than it was would be hard 
to imagine. We were all tremendously happy, 
healthy, and free. The children were often all day 
long in the forest with their governess. There 
was a pony carriage for their especial use and a 
horse much addicted to sugar and possessed of 
very quiet nerves. In the wonderful white June 
nights, when the sun took a very short rest, the 
birds must really have been tired, they sang so 
the night long ! We often went out on the waters 
in the middle of the night to be ready to greet the 
sun after his short retirement. All was peace and 
beauty! This quiet life, full of simple pleasure, 
lasted through the month of July, and on the 
second day of August we were expecting a large 
house party. My husband was not in the country 
with us, but in Suwalki for a few days, and I won- 
dered why he did not come on the evening of the 
first of August. We waited dinner, and were sure 
he would be there, as he is a man who never dis- 
appoints. However, I waited in vain and felt 
the events of the future casting their shadows 
before them. Despite my later experiences with 



4 How tKe "War Came to Us 

bitter unhappiness I must say I was terribly un- 
happy that night. After being most wakeful, I 
fell, towards morning, into a very sound sleep, only 
to be awakened about four o'clock by a violent 
rapping on my window. I sprang up quickly in 
order to still the noise before the children should 
be aroused, thinking something was needed by 
the servant going into the town to the market. 
There I was confronted by Fate in the form of my 
husband's man, Jan, white and solemn-faced. 

"My lady, there is war," and he handed me a 
card from my husband. 

"War is declared. Come immediately with 
the children. Let the servants pack up what 
you wish to bring and come on later in the 
day." 

To read this in the beauty of that summer morn- 
ing and feel one's world crumble about one ! Bid- 
ding the man wait, I hurriedly wrapped myself up 
and stole out of the house to arouse our people. 
The servants slept in quarters a little removed 
from the house, and I was forced to rap and call 
loudly before they could be aroused. Then they 
came, — first the cook — a noted person afterwards— 



How tHe "War Came to Us 5 

and the maids. They were sleepy and still en- 
gaged in completing their very simple toilets. 

"The master has sent for us. We must go 
immediately to Suwalki. There is war with the 
Germans." 

When I told them this, they stared at me, and 
as one, like a chorus, threw their aprons over 
their heads and began to howl, just as a dog keens 
and whimpers in the night when he is frightened, — 
the most horrible sound one could imagine, and 
which almost made me lose my scarcely retained 
self-possession. I was forced to threaten them 
with all sorts of punishment before they could be 
made to stop that blood-curdling noise! Then, 
saying that they were to prepare breakfast, so 
that we could leave the minute the children were 
ready, I went over the hill towards the forester's. 
I can never forget that walk in the early stillness, 
through those woods and fields, which were so 
soon to be literally wet with blood! I remember, 
just as we reached the crest of the hill, turning 
to ask a question of Jan — just to hear my own 
voice, the future began to look so very black. 
I found poor Jan was gallantly striving to keep 



6 How tKe "War Came to Us 

the tears back. When the poor fellow had pulled 
himself together enough to speak, he told me that 
he was called, and must be back and ready to 
march at twelve o'clock. The mobilization had 
begun! The poor boy was sure he was going to 
his death, and said he "would never again be seen 
by his lady!" but he was,;for, as Fate would have 
it, two months afterwards I closed his eyes in the 
hospital. Shot to pieces almost, death was a 
merciful relief! 

We reached the house of the forester, Majewski, 
and here also had great difficulty in making them 
hear us. Finally the forester, his wife, and child- 
ren tumbled out, with eyes full of sleep, and of 
course dressing themselves on the way! When 
I told the forester what the master had written, 
he said: 

"Oh, the master is over-anxious! There is no 
war! Let my lady permit me to go to Suwalki 
to see what the trouble is, and let my lady rest 
quietly here! If there were war, my three strong 
sons and good horses would be called out!" 

After telling him to do as he was bid, instead 
of advancing ideas of his own, I left him under 



How tHe "War Came to Us 7 

orders to bring his horses and wagon, and to get 
some of the adjoining peasants and their wagons 
also. Almost running on my way back I was 
greeted from a distance by an uproar! My child- 
ren were crying from the discomfort of being 
awakened so early, and had raised their voices 
in protest at the general state of disorder. 

These three were Wanda, six years, and Stanis- 
law and Wladislaw, twin boys, five years! I think 
they were also protesting that no one was paying 
the slightest attention to them, and that was a 
state of affairs to which they were not used! 

I found the dining-room in a most curious state. 
The things which were absolutely necessary to 
serve breakfast were being already packed, neces- 
sitating the unpacking. My governess, Panna 
Jadwiga, was the only help I had, trying valiantly 
to help me quell the miniature riot! When we 
had given the children something to eat, and were 
quite ready, I found there was a strike! The 
servants refused to remain behind without me, 
wishing to let everything go and get to the town. 
They might as well have done so for of all the 
silver, rugs, and furniture, there is no vestige 



8 How tKe War Came to Us 

remaining! However, not yet understanding 
what war means, I stopped and struggled with 
them until things were fairly well packed. I was 
obliged to drive them for they were quite mad with 
fear of what would befall them — stumbling over 
each other as if blind, and constantly looking over 
their shoulders to see if a German were not ready 
to seize them! At eleven I gave up and said the 
children could not be kept about any longer, and 
I was so sorry for my husband waiting all this 
time; feeling also the need of hearing his voice. 
So, stowing the children away in their own carriage, 
which they were using for the last time, their 
governess, to say nothing of Dash, the white Spitz 
dog, and myself, who had also to be the coachman, 
we started, leaving the peasants still weeping and 
wrangling, to follow or stop as they would. 

I found even the quiet nerves of the horse had 
been affected ! — perhaps because no one had thought 
to give him sugar, and he was a pampered animal. 
Whatever the cause, he shied continuously the 
whole way through the forest. I was so nervous 
every sound made me jump. Very soon we came 
across many sad groups. Women escorting their 



How tKe War Came to Us 9 

men to the mobilization centres. . . . Misery had 
already come to dwell in Poland! The men 
had at least some excitement, but oh — be sorry 
for the women — the poor left-at-home women, 
with the drudgery and the grey anxiety, — and the 
waiting — waiting — always waiting. 

We met many loads of people already hurrying 
to the town. In fact, our dog Dash had a brisk 
exchange of hostilities with a pig tied on behind 
one load of household goods, surmounted by the 
family. I know Dash returned in a filthy state, 
expressing a lively satisfaction with the encounter. 

After leaving the woods, we were overtaken by 
a terrific storm right in the middle of the open 
fields surrounding Suwalki. Panna Jadwiga took 
all three children in her arms, and we covered them 
as best we could. The umbrella was on hand, but 
in such a storm of little avail. The summer air 
had changed into a wintry one, the sleet blinding 
both me and the poor horse. In the few minutes 
it lasted the road was transformed into a torrent, 
and if the road were remarkable at the best of 
times, what was it after such a deluge? Horse 
and driver clung bravely together, and finally 



io Hew tKe "War Came to Us 

were able to open their eyes. A few minutes after, 
in the midst of sunshine, but oozing water from 
every stitch of clothing, from hair and hat, we 
drove through the town. At any other time such 
a dramatic entry would have aroused much com- 
ment, — but when war has been declared, it takes 
more than a few wet people to make other people 
stare. 

After arriving at our home, our man Jacob took 
the horse, and it was the last time we saw him. 
The faithful creature — I have always regretted 
not giving him one parting lump of sugar. 

My husband was in a very nervous state, not 
knowing why he had been disobeyed. The master's 
word is law in Poland. But, knowing the peas- 
ants, he understood the impossibility of doing 
anything else, and leaving the children sitting up 
in bed drinking hot milk, we started for the hotel 
to see if we could not get something to eat, neither 
of us having tasted food that day. We found 
every place crowded. No one wanted to stay home, 
— the Demon of Unrest had entered every breast. 
Such was our first day of the war! 



CHAPTER II 

THE FIRST DAYS 

The first few days after war was declared were 
full of interesting events. The most notable was 
the wonderful change of popular feeling. Before 
the war there were many misunderstandings, to 
put it mildly! The two peoples, Russians and 
Poles, divided by every sentiment, tradition, and 
by religion (the Poles are Roman Catholic, the 
Russians Greek Catholic), are so nearly related 
that, like members of a family, when a quarrel 
arises between them they become the bitterest 
of enemies! All these differences were put aside, 
and a real brotherhood sprang into existence. 
How astonishing and how delightful it was to see 
them united, all expressing the same sentiment! 
To me it came as a great surprise — being born in 
America, and a Slav by marriage. Such a revolu- 
tion to take place in one day — surely only the 

ii 



12 THe First Days 

Slavic people could accomplish it ! All were glad, 
and felt good would come to Poland. 

The third day we were much occupied organizing 
the Polish Red Cross for those two governments, 
Suwalki and Lomza. My husband was President, 
and his position was not an enviable one. The 
difficulties of getting Polish people to work to- 
gether are almost insurmountable, owing perhaps 
to their unfortunate national history. However, 
we finally got our committee together, and made 
steps towards getting a hospital open. I remem- 
ber one thing especially. Towards evening the 
disturbing rumour circulated that there was to 
be no war! The maddest excitement prevailed. 
Not only the upper classes, but the peasants 
stood about discussing it — fearing they should be 
disappointed. I also know the suggestion was seri- 
ously discussed of sending an expression of devo- 
tion and fealty to Petrograd ! It was understood 
that the delay had been caused by uncertainty as 
to the intentions of England. If his Imperial 
Majesty, the Czar, received no message from that 
corner of his domain, expressing the hope that 
even if England did not go to war, Russia would, 



THe First Days 13 

the reason was that the rumour proved unfounded. 
War had come. 

The first sound of marching troops came Sun- 
day, one week after the first news. About four 
o'clock in the morning we were awakened by the 
marching of men — great masses of men on the 
move. Of course the whole town was alive in no 
time. The soldiers were tired and hungry from 
their long journey afoot, — most of them had come 
from Minsk and were hungry. Food and com- 
forts were simply showered upon them by the 
townspeople, rich and poor. It was a relief to 
have something to do. We invited the officers 
as they came along to breakfast, and had a caul- 
dron of soup and heaps of bread in the courtyard 
for the soldiers. So great was the fervour of 
helping that every few steps along the roadside 
someone stood handing things out. I remember 
one soldier wanted a drink of water, and two small 
boys in their zeal to get there first got into a fight, 
in which their families also joined. That day 
there was still laughter along with the tears. We 
entertained the sappers that night because they 
only went on the next day to East Prussia. The 



14 The First Days 

captain was a Pole, a friend of my husband's. 
After this first break for the front, men were simply 
poured into East Prussia. The wagons made one 
great roar — night and day. 

In the town were also various changes. With 
few exceptions all the Russian families decided 
to go to Russia. Trains were set aside for this 
purpose, and at the stations many sad and many 
very amusing things occurred. It was sad for 
these people to leave their homes and all their 
belongings, to see their husbands and sons march- 
ing off to war, not even to have the comfort of 
stopping there a little nearer to them. Many 
ladies started out with two or three soldiers car- 
rying their pet possessions — even some pieces of 
furniture, samovars — dogs of course were many. 
All had to be left at the station, and happy the 
woman who found a seat for herself in those awful 
trains packed with people as sardines are packed 
in a tin. One officer's wife told me afterwards 
that for a day and a half she did not sit down, 
and finally, from fatigue, slept standing! Ah, 
yes! War is neither a comfortable nor a pleasant 
experience. 



THe First Days 15 

I think it was about a week after the first news 
when the Ukase of the Czar was published — that 
all spirits were to be destroyed, and the use 
of alcohol forbidden. What excitement prevailed 
over this announcement in a country where at 
dinner one must reckon at least one bottle of 
wodka for each guest! Such strong stuff was it 
that the only time I ever tried it I thought my 
last moment had come! The day before the offi- 
cial destruction was to take place we went to get 
alcohol for the hospital — both the pure, and the 
coloured for burning in lamps, etc. There were 
tremendous crowds about, all struggling to get 
a last bottle to drink, already drunken — without 
shame, and horrid ! I thought then what a won- 
derful thing the Czar had done for humanity. 
How brave it was deliberately to destroy a tre- 
mendous source of income in order to help his 
people! We were forced to have police protection 
to bring the bottles home. Such bottles! Each 
one holding twelve quarts ! 

The next day we saw the destruction of the 
1 ' Monopol . ' ' The chief of police ordered all spirits 
carried to the top of a hill in the outskirts of 



1 6 The First Days 

Suwalki — then with much ceremony the bottles 
were smashed, letting the fiery stuff flow in streams ! 
What cries there were from the people — the 
peasants threw themselves down on the ground, 
lapped the wodka with their tongues, and when 
they could swallow no more they rolled over and 
over in it! After a while my husband thought it 
better to leave; even in an automobile there was 
little safety among such mad creatures. We were 
very glad when "King Alcohol" had been van- 
quished, and we shuddered to think what would 
have been if such an orgy had taken place without 
police to quell it ! 

That same evening, a friend of ours was called 
to the colours. He was glad to go, — the more so 
that his wife was a German! He gave me letters 
for his wife should he not return. I remember 
his eyes, full of premonitions, yet glowing with 
a desire to meet the time-old enemy of the 
Poles! He never returned; if taken a prisoner, 
it is all over long ago. We sent the letters 
to his wife who was with friends in the depths 
of Russia. 

How the different people we knew and were 



THe First Days 17 

near to come before my eyes. All, all gone. All 
those homes swept away, — out of existence, but 
"God lives"! It cannot be all in vain, the blood- 
shed and sorrow! 



CHAPTER III 



THE FIRST PATIENTS 



Our hospital was quickly arranged. We had 
accommodations at a pinch for two hundred and 
fifty. There was a wonderful and generous re- 
sponse from the people — linen, bedding, beds, 
food all poured in. These were curious days. 
Life was full of excitement. It was as if we ex- 
pected something to happen, and we waited — 
everyone nervous, excited, keyed up! My hands 
were more than full. Knowing how to sew, and 
not knowing any other lady who did, I was forced 
to take charge of the work rooms until the linen 
closet was ready for use. There had been abso- 
lutely no preparation of any description ! We had 
to begin from the first. Except for the constant 
stream of forage wagons, and occasional regiments, 
life began to be rather quiet, — to take on a certain 

18 



THe First Patients 19 

routine. We constantly increased our supplies. 
The possibility of foodstuffs getting dear and 
scarce was, of course, to be taken into considera- 
tion; but no one dreamed of such a thing as the 
enemy getting them. Our army had pushed on 
so valiantly. 

Time dragged in those days of preparation. 
One always thought and wondered what would 
come next. It was like walking in the dark and 
expecting to fall into the sea. But one night 
about twelve o'clock, the first loads of wounded 
came to Suwalki. The nights are always cold 
there, and sounds cany startlingly. We heard 
the cars stop, — motor trucks packed full of groan- 
ing, coughing humanity! They had been trans- 
ported a long distance, and were on the verge of 
exhaustion. In such numbers were they we were 
forced to have food cooked in our own kitchens 
to help out. The next day we had over five 
hundred in our hospital ! The base hospitals were 
filled, and then emptied into hospitals like ours. 

In the next few days, the Russian Red Cross 
came also, and even they ran out of things! I 
know my workshop was put into use making 



20 THe First Patients 

shirts, etc., for them. It was a delight to do such 
work ; and what a pleasure it was when the director 
gave me fifty roubles to pay the sewing women, 
who were in need. We had a fund started to aid 
the women. Those who could sew were already 
employed. The real work came at this time. 
One wished to comfort all those poor fellows. 
How sad we felt that we had not enough beds to 
go around. Still there was plenty of good clean 
straw. 

In the hospitals the floors were full. One had 
to step carefully; I began to get acquainted with 
the Russian soldiers. What splendid fellows they 
are — such a childlike simplicity of nature, such 
bravery and devotion. They always seemed to 
understand my remarkable Russian; I had just 
begun to learn to speak it. 

One room in the hospital we gave over to Ger- 
mans who had been taken prisoners. They were 
treated with the greatest consideration, and had 
just the same fare as the others. I remember one 
day walking through the ward speaking to the 
different ones. A young boy asked me when the 
Russians would begin to torture him! I asked 



THe First Patients 21 

where he got such an idea, and he replied that 
they had been told in Germany what would happen 
if they ever got caught — that they had been pre- 
paring for the worst ever since taken — that they 
thought we were feeding them up to make them 
suffer more! When it was explained to them how 
everyone was full of the best and kindest inten- 
tions, the faces brightened and one or two who 
had refused to speak began to ask questions, and 
feel that life was not quite ended for them. 

Suwalki grew very busy as the days went by — 
wounded coming and going — being transported 
after a few days' care in our hospitals first to Wilno, 
and then on to Moscow. 



CHAPTER IV 

AN AEROPLANE VISITS US — AND A CRIPPLED 
LAZARETTE 

One afternoon my husband and I, after some 
hard work in the hospital, were drinking tea in a 
cukiernia — when an aeroplane bombarded the town ! 
Ah! That is the time each seeks what is nearest 
to his heart ! There was a wild fusillade of bullets 
— even the men in the town taking a shot — firing 
madly; but the aeroplane got off — free — after 
dropping a number of bombs and doing astonish- 
ingly little damage. One bomb struck the Boys' 
Trade School — fatally injuring the little four-year- 
old son of the caretaker. 

On the 28th day of August — my birthday — a 

Russian Sister came to me to see if we could help 

their hospital — a field lazarette, with about one 

hundred and fifty beds. They had been turned 

22 



A. Crippled Lazarette 23 

back from the front and could not get supplies. 
There were three doctors, four nurses, and various 
orderlies — quartered in one of the barracks — with 
almost seven hundred wounded! Of course the 
staff were exhausted, and no supplies ! What could 
four nurses do with such a mass of humanity? I 
went there with some of my people to see what 
could be done to help out. The memory of that 
place will always remain, for there, for the first 
time, I came face to face with awful suffering. 
At the very door one heard the low murmur of 
misery; one room after another packed with men, 
who could not be helped. There were no medi- 
cines — no disinfectants — no linen. In one corner 
were some prisoners. The sister (nurse) on duty 
asked me to go to them because I spoke German. 
One poor fellow, turning restlessly from side to 
side — calling ceaselessly for water — was quieted 
when I spoke to him, asking what he wanted. 
He begged for a drink, and that I should write to 
his wife, as he felt death upon him. While I was 
doing what was possible to help him, the poor 
fellow began to talk. He told me that he had 
been a bookkeeper, that he was twenty-six years 



24 -A. Crippled Lazarette 

old, and had a wife and children, a little house 
of his own, had never harmed any one in his 
life, took no interest in anything outside of his 
work and family, until with three hours' notice 
he was ordered to join his regiment, and leave 
it all. 

/'The great lords have quarrelled and we must 
pay for it with our blood, our wives, and children." 
This man was transported that same day, and 
died on the way to the station. 

So hopeless it was trying to help until there was 
something to help with, that I drove back to the 
city to see different people, and in a short time 
had gathered more than a thousand roubles with 
which to replenish the lazarette — bandages, 
cotton-wool, sublimate, plaster, asperine, iodine, 
etc., and a great share of our spiritus. It was 
pitiful to see how the sisters rejoiced to get the 
things! 

In my own hospital there was great dissatis- 
faction because so much was given to someone 
else. I had a battle royal over the linen I insisted 
on giving, but my husband was on my side and 
we gave all that was absolutely necessary to the 



A. Crippled Lazarette 25 

lazarette, and afterwards regretted that it was not 
more, for the Germans got all that linen and our 
supplies! I remember the gentlemen still played 
cards then — and to my fund for the lazarette 
went all the money won. 

In that lazarette for the first and only time I 
had to give up and go away for a moment to keep 
from fainting — for on a cot I saw what appeared 
to be a ball of cotton and bandages — with three 
black holes, just as if a child had drawn mouth 
and nose and eyes — and the flies! ... It was a 
shock to hear a voice with a cultured accent 
coming from such an object — a Polish voice beg- 
ging whoever it was not to go away, but to give 
him water; his hands were burned to a crisp, he 
could not move, and the flies! . . . The odour 
from the gangrene was so awful that I was over- 
powered for a time — but, afterwards, sent my 
maid home for netting, as much as she could find; 
and then helped the sister in charge to rebandage 
and veil that remnant of a man. He had been 
near a bursting shell — and lain four days in the 
field after he was wounded. He asked if his eyes 
were burned away. 



26 .A Crippled Lazarette 

"Yes — quite gone." If he would live or die? — 
"Die." 

"God has not forgotten me — but please, then, 
let me drink — drink." 



CHAPTER V 



UNREST 



After this lazarette had been helped out for a 
few days, they again received supplies, and could 
work on; but those patients were moved and no 
more came — not more than a dozen or two. No 
one knew what was the trouble as the days 
went on. Rumours there were, of course. How 
curious those war rumours are — one hears the 
most absurd things — some always give them 
credence. 

We heard once that Konigsberg was taken, 
that the army was pushing on to Berlin, — we all 
hoped so! Once, when I was at the station with 
the wounded, a regiment of Cossacks arrived — 
coming from the far corner of Russia — wild, fierce- 
looking men, with one object in life. I noticed 
that an officer who spoke to the men laughed very 

heartily and I asked him what had happened. 

27 



28 Unrest 

"The Cossacks wish to know if it is already 
Berlin, and if they may let loose!" 

As the days went by a curious tension made 
itself felt; one started to do something, and did 
not finish. The hospitals were quite empty, 
occasionally bands of prisoners were marched 
through, forage wagons went continually. One 
day a lot of prize pigs from Kaiser Wilhelm's 
estate near the border were driven into our town 
— some of the soldiers occasionally brought back 
loot in the wagons they drove; that was forbidden, 
however, and the Chief of Police, who had turned 
into a real friend of the townspeople, took away 
and locked up all such stolen goods. 

Aeroplanes with bombs and literature dropping 
from them were daily events — what promises made 
to army and people — promises of autonomy almost 
identical with those made by Russia to the Poles, 
which the people had taken in good faith. 

When an aeroplane came everyone ran for 
shelter, but there was not the excitement of the 
first instance — we had grown used to them ! 

On the 8th of September, we noticed laden 
forage wagons leaving Suwalki, and another line 



Unrest 29 

of laden wagons returning to Suwalki. Also, the 
Red Cross was ordered to pack up ; but there was 
absolutely no news from the front. 

On the 9th, my husband went to Warsaw, most 
unwillingly, for the meeting of the Polish Red 
Cross Central Committee. We felt the moment 
to be a dangerous one to leave me alone with the 
children, but it was absolutely necessary for him 
to go for two days. Having been born in America 
we felt that if need be, I could take care of myself 
and the children. 

All that 10th day of September there was unrest. 
Aeroplanes, forage- wagons going and returning! 
I went into the cellars and attics to conceal stores, 
etc. In the attic I was frightened by the echoes 
— like thousands of feet tramping — tramping — ■ 
until the maids began to cross themselves and say 
the place was haunted. Perhaps it was! 

That night, beside my babies' bedsides I prayed 
as I had never prayed before; dear little ones — 
they were only interested in all the happen- 
ings! About nine o'clock, the streets were rilled 
with a mob of people fleeing from the outlying 
villages — men, women, children, dogs, cows, pigs, 



30 Unrest 

horses, and carts all mixed up in one grand 
melange — and we heard the snap, snap of rifle 
shots. A Russian officer whom I knew came to 
ask that all our lights be extinguished — even that 
in the night nursery. He said no one knew what 
it was — whether the Germans had broken through 
or if the Cossacks were hunting down an officer, 
who was reported as basely betraying his men — 
a German of course — as many of the officers then 
were! This Russian officer had known my hus- 
band was in Warsaw, and he took us under his 
especial protection. 

Our house, a great, big old place overlooked 
the road to East Prussia. The way was almost 
clear from the windows at the back of the house. 
It was such an endless sort of a place — I felt so 
lonesome wandering about that night — not lone- 
some because I was alone — oh no! everybody in 
the house seemed to move whenever I did, except 
the children — but, I did want my husband! It 
was so awful to hear all those noises and not go to 
see what they were about; such a pandemonium 
of sound — and no moon to help things out! When 
I once looked out of the window at the back of 




Stanislaw de Gozdawa Turczynowicz 
The Husband of the Author 



Unrest 31 

the house (the Poles called it a palace !) innumer- 
able lights were flashing about the fields and shots 
and cries. Finally growing so nervous with the 
sounds, the uncertainty, and also hearing people 
about me say their prayers as if they expected to 
die the next moment, I lighted a candle and stole 
about the rooms looking at them — saying good- 
bye to the old order of things! I also felt it was 
time to take, from its hiding place in the bottom of 
a small upright piano in my boudoir, the money 
my husband had left. For some reason the dark- 
ness, the secrecy, made me feel just like a thief — 
and I jumped up, scattering gold pieces all over 
the floor, when my good cook came with a black- 
coffee tray. She had not forgotten me in the 
midst of all her fear. 

The money was a problem to hide — five thou- 
sand roubles — gold, silver, and bills. By the time 
it was all concealed about me I felt rather unbal- 
anced — five hundred roubles in five and ten rouble 
pieces, gold, and three hundred in small silver pieces 
is a weight ! So many bills are also inconvenient, 
but — how much worse to have no money — and 
how many there were in this predicament. 



CHAPTER VI 

EVACUATION 

Morning, the nth of September, dawned at 
last — and the streets so empty as if no one lived! 
Except, of course, forage-wagons ! But they were 
part of the street like lamp posts! The mob had 
flown farther. 

About six o'clock the wounded began to pour 

into the town — never have I seen worse cases — 

hands and arms gone — blinded — all the sad story 

of war. By eleven o'clock we had one hundred 

and twenty-seven wounded and numbers of those 

who had also lost a hand or arm. Bad news also 

came — our army was in retreat, but still no orders 

to evacuate! I talked with the commander of 

the city — with several men in authority. They 

decided I should leave that night, — and my word 

was given — though against my will, because my 

husband was to come the next day, and I had the 

32 _ 



Evacuation 33 

feeling that the Germans would not dare come in 
his absence. But I did try to send a telegram, 
only to find the wires cut! The little city, full 
of life, and homes, and wounded — cut off from 
the world! Hurrying home I found my children 
playing quietly with their governess, Panna Jad- 
wiga — the sewing-women working — at least mak- 
ing a pretence of it. It was so lonesome ! I took 
the children to the dining-room to lunch with me. 
How pretty it looked, the curious old room with 
steps leading down to its great windows, the soft 
colours of the rugs, the table with its fine napery 
and pretty silver and glass. We sat down, and 
I was just telling Panna Jadwiga about the great 
number of new patients in our hospital, when a 
fusillade of rifle-shots sounded as if in the very 
room, followed by the boom, boom of cannon ! We 
sat speechless a second, my little girl began to cry, 
the serving-man let a tray with soup fall on the 
floor, crash! — but no one paid any attention. I 
only told him to get a carriage for me, that in 
fifteen minutes we must be out of the house; the 
cook was told to pack some food, Panna Jadwiga 
was to take the children in her care, a nurse maid 

33 



34 Evacuation 

was to pack necessaries, and I wished to get some 
valuables together; my money I already carried, 
a little case of jewels was there to my hand, but 
it seemed as if all the poor of Suwalki came crying 
to me, as if I could help them! The poor things! 
I gave them each a three rouble bill, having a 
large packet stuck in my blouse; money had 
absolutely no value at that moment; trying to 
collect my thoughts, their screaming and the 
ever increasing sound of battle making it difficult. 

I paid no attention to what was scrambled 
together, except that on my bed laid a number of 
pale-coloured silk stockings, pink, blue, green, 
violet — ready for packing — and my sewing bag. 
I picked up those articles and hung on to them as 
if they were priceless treasures, waving the stock- 
ings about like a flag — and no one was astonished ! 
The man Jacob came to say he could not get any- 
thing but two peasants' wagons. Off we started 
leaving a trail of our most valued possessions 
behind us. 

Oh, what a street ! The forage- wagons now all 
going one way, bringing their loads back, each hav- 
ing four soldiers with cocked guns ! Wagons full of 



Evacuation 35 

people. My acquaintances standing up screaming, 
paying no attention one to the other, one solid mass 
of disorder — primeval man and woman put to flight 
by an inexorable force — all conventions dropped 
as if they never existed — leaving all behind them, 
taking useless things but forgetting a change of 
linen. I remember seeing one old woman with 
a feather bed on her head, dragging a samovar 
by the handle, bumpety bump, over the cobble- 
stones. A crowd of people were waiting for me 
to come out, begging me not to leave, to let them 
come with me. 

Just at that time came the order to evacuate 
the town. I had sent word I would help them 
with the wounded at the station, but now I had 
to care for my children. Then, after Jacob had 
kissed the cross, promising to care for our property 
as well as he could, we all climbed into those wagons 
— a difficult business, — the top, a sort of a rack 
to carry hay or straw, spreading out in a most 
uncomfortable fashion. 

I gave just one glance back at our dear old 
happy home — a look to see if we were taking 
anything — seeing the second wagon packed with 



36 Evacuation 

luggage — mostly the servants' — and Dash bark- 
ing wildly on top. I had my three children, their 
governess, two maids, the cook, of my family, 
and a young girl, Miss Gabryella, who was all 
alone. She also had her maid. We were just 
starting, when a priest, the family friend, came 
rushing up. We looked at each other without a 
greeting, and I asked, "Right or wrong?" He 
threw up his hands. "As God lives — I do not 
know! — but — go — " Lifting his hand in the 
sign of blessing he told the men to drive on — into 
that vortex of humanity — people running — laden 
like horses — getting tired of the weight, — dropping 
it — but going on! Half-way along a man, an 
acquaintance of ours, laid violent hands on the 
peasant who drove the luggage wagon, turned him 
about, and went off with dog and all. This from 
a most polished gentleman in times of peace ! 



CHAPTER VII 

THE FLIGHT 

Finally, fighting our way through, we got to 
the station. I found we also had some luggage 
■ — we had been sitting upon it. The cook had 
brought an enormous bag of what the Poles call 
toast — slices of bread toasted on both sides, a 
ham, still hot, with little rivers of gravy trickling 
from it, some sardines, some sugar, and lemons. 

The wagon was immediately taken from us, and 
we started out to find the Red Cross train, picking 
up on the way a lady with her two sons, one of 
whom was just recovering from a severe illness 
and was hardly able to move. 

It is a memory — the coming to a station where 

no one knew if the trains could go or not. We 

walked or rather stumbled along, the children 

talking excitedly about going in a train with the 

soldiers, the servants dragging through the dust 

37 



38 THe Flight 

and over the tracks what luggage our friend had 
not run off with! Finally, I came across the 
director of the lazarette we had helped — "cast 
your bread upon the waters," and he helped us 
— saying he was happy to pay a little of the debt 
the lazarette owed me. 

We found our train — a cattle train, with evi- 
dences of its former occupants! There were 
already a few wounded, but we managed, with 
the aid of an old coat and a pail of water, to make 
one car more habitable. The work also made the 
maids stop the awful noise they had kept up con- 
tinually. Presently the wounded came — many 
of them not bandaged — and thirty-two of the 
especially bad cases, were allotted to my car. One, 
who had lost his hand, had no covering on the 
raw stump. He had just been prepared for the 
doctor when all were turned out of the hospital. 
These poor fellows took my mind off my own 
troubles — the worst news they had was that the 
Germans had captured the railroad to Warsaw! 
A picture of my husband being caught flashed 
through my mind! 

I found, of course, that I had no cotton or 



The Flight 39 

bandages — but I was able to get a small supply of 
such things from the Director. It was a pitiful 
picture which my little children saw — the poor 
man, who had lost his hand suffering agonies 
from the contact of the air with the raw flesh. 
How it hurt, and how patient the man was — the 
big tears just rolling down his cheeks! I couldn't 
keep the children away — there was no place to 
send them. It was sweet to see how they tried 
to comfort the big soldier, — little Wanda drying 
his eyes, the boys holding his hand. It was a help 
to the man — if a sad one — he had children of his 
own somewhere. After doing what I could to 
bring a tiny bit of comfort into the circumstances, 
I wished to go to the other cars, but found that 
the doctors and nurses had arrived, and that it 
was not necessary, — besides we were forbidden 
to leave the car. Three more people attached 
themselves to me, and we made room for them. 

At five o'clock — always the same — the confu- 
sion increasing as the firing grew nearer. The 
train was ready for instant flight, steam up, and 
all aboard, but we waited in hopes the enemy 
would be driven off. The confusion was so great 



40 The Flight 

that it seemed a miracle when an orderly brought a 
portion of condensed milk to each of the wounded, 
but just then no one wished for food! As time 
went on, the fear died down a bit, and dissatisfac- 
tion grew. Three of the people left to find more 
convenient quarters — my cook went into hysterics, 
■ — Miss Gabryella cried, thinking it would be 
better at home. Everyone seemed to feel that I 
was the one responsible for all the discomfort. 
After listening some time to their complaints, I 
asked two soldiers slightly wounded to help me 
get out of the car, bag and baggage. The wounded 
raised their voices in protest, "Little Sister, do not 
leave us," but I went; making all of our party 
leave the car. Then, on the ground, I asked them 
what it was they wished to do, "Go or stay ? ' 

' ' Let us go, let us go — the train will start without 
us." 

And upon my again asking them if they knew 
quite well what they were about, and were willing 
to do as I should decide, they cried, "Yes, yes." 
So, telling them that must be the last of all com- 
plaints and indecision, that I had nerves, and 
greater responsibilities than they had, we climbed 



TKe Flight 41 

back into the car, and the rest of the journey's 
discomforts were received in silence. 

The hours dragged by — it grew dark; always 
the sound of battle grew nearer. I gave the 
children, for the first time, ham — and that hard 
toast — suffering to see them, realizing they had 
no place to sleep, and that I was without a home ! 

The delicacy of those soldiers! They were in 
pain — wounded and weak, but they helped by 
every thought and look. They gave up their 
coats, and begged to hold the children, who would 
have nothing to do with the servants — they 
wanted the soldiers ! If a battle raged around us, 
in that car with its strange assortment of human 
beings there was love and harmony. After awhile 
the children wanted the soldiers to sing. They 
began one of those weird minor melodies, singing, 
softly, softly. I could not bear it. The flood 
gates opened. The singing was rudely enough 
interrupted by the sounds of shots much nearer 
to us. The Germans had stolen a march and 
got around to the other side! 

The main body of troops were about five miles 
the opposite side of Suwalki, just beyond our 



42 The Flight 

home. That was an anxious moment. We were 
warned by the officer in charge to be perfectly 
quiet — that the train was at last to go — running 
the gauntlet. 

At the very last moment two freshly wounded 
men were shoved into our car — both bleeding, 
and one, a young Cossack, unconscious. 

The car began to move — stealing through the 
night — one benefit from the danger — every person 
had to be quiet. In a few minutes we were right 
where the shots were flying; some of them struck 
our car! The bullets sang but they could not 
reach us — we were watched over. On through 
those bullets we went, and when the danger was 
past, I saw it was half-past eleven. We had been 
a little more than half an hour on the road. All 
danger was not over, but at least the bullets did 
not whizz about our ears. The babies were 
asleep, with the soldiers' arms about them — it made 
my heart ache to see those men — their tenderness 
and touching anxiety to do something. 

Now it was safe to light a candle to attend the 
newly wounded. The Cossack was very bad- 
shot through the hip — and then no chance of 



The Flight 43 

getting the doctor until we reached Vilno. For- 
tunately, he was still unconscious, but had a 
certain blue look that made me fear there was 
no real help for him. It was such a frightful 
wound, that all the cotton and bandages I had 
were hardly enough to staunch it — but the blood 
stopped flowing. 

The other man — a tremendous, black-bearded 
creature, was wounded in the breast, and his 
clothing was absolutely torn to rags. A gaping 
wound with no shot in it — but — ! There re- 
mained only a small piece of gauze and a little 
cotton. In a flash of inspiration I knew why I 
had hung on to those silk stockings of mine, and 
the sewing bag. Those stockings made a very 
passable bandage, and a cheerful looking one 
when finished. Fancy sewing a bandage from 
your own stockings by the light of a candle held 
by a soldier, himself wounded — in a cattle car — 
speeding through the night, not knowing what 
would happen the next moment ! 

It grew very cold. The worst cases suffered 
exceedingly from the jolting of the train. At 
another time, the fact that the poor young Cossack 



44 The Flight 

did not regain consciousness would have filled me 
with anxiety, but now I was glad of it — at least 
the movement of the train made his suffering no 
worse. 

The man with the gay bandages slept almost 
as soon as his wound was dressed. The others 
slept or at least were quiet. When I dampened 
the dressing on the stump of arm, I found that 
from the contact with the air, dust, etc., and in 
spite of iodine, the man began to grow feverish, 
and to murmur incessantly. There was no help 
for him — nothing I could do. One of the soldiers 
begged me to sit down and rest, and there they 
had made a bed for me of their coats right by 
the door; the corners were all occupied. Finally, 
to please them, I laid down saying, "Now I 
lay me down to sleep," even as the children 
had done. Watching the little things sleep in 
the soldiers' arms I too fell asleep from sheer 
exhaustion. 

Awakening with a start, every bone aching 
from fatigue and the hardness of my bed, I found 
it was after five o'clock. The children still slept 
but the soldiers said "Good-morning" softly, and 



TKe Flight 45 

that the "Little Sister" must think she was quite 
alone. Could men be more thoughtful? 

I arranged my hair as best I could — one of the 
soldiers had a small looking-glass, — and poured 
water over my hands. Then I climbed over to 
see my Cossack. He "slept" — and needed no 
care of mine. It was only necessary to cover his 
face — such a boyish blond face — how good he 
suffered no more. There are worse things than 
death. All the others were fairly well — only the 
one with the hand was delirious. He needed 
quick help — there would have to be another am- 
putation — no help for him until Vilno. The 
others were hungry, but too polite to tell me so. 

The children woke up — gay as larks. The train 
stopped for a few minutes, and those who could 
walk got out; I bought a bag of apples. When 
we were once more under way, I began to carve 
ham, and gave out toast. Everyone ate as if 
it were quite a normal thing to live so, — with a 
dead man lying at your elbow ! Ham, toast, and 
apples were soon finished — but then nothing to 
drink. 

The children had to be amused — even though 



46 TKe Flight 

they were quiet when we told them the Cossack 
was asleep — with little stories for them. Eight 
o'clock came and we stopped at Olita. Taking 
two soldiers and our water bucket (it had been 
used to water the horses) I went to the restaurant. 
Everyone there wished to know all the news — 
consternation! Many people were on their way 
to Suwalki from Warsaw. 

The proprietor asked what we needed. 

"Tea and bread." 

He emptied two samovars into the bucket, made 
it sweet, put lemons in, and had his people carry 
this ambrosia out to the train, while the soldiers 
carried rolls — just as many as he had — a great 
quantity — enough for our party — and would take 
no money for it ! 

"The lady helps — may not I? We shall need 
help ourselves perhaps — God will remember." 

Astonishing it was how those things disappeared ; 
then the time dragged as we travelled through 
that lovely September morning, everything seem- 
ing so quiet after our experiences. It was like a 
dream — one was dulled. 

We reached Vilno at one o'clock. 



CHAPTER VIII 

JOURNEYING FARTHER 

Vilno station was quiet and orderly, only the 
soldiers, being shipped to other points, and the 
many Red Cross trains, spoke of war-times. 

We were the first refugees and were instantly 
surrounded by people anxious to know what had 
happened. Ladies carrying tea, sandwiches, etc., 
to the wounded, wanted to help with the children, 
but of course it was not necessary. Besides— 
what in a child's eyes is a mere woman in compari- 
son with a soldier? I made my report to the 
doctor of the night and the Cossack's death. This 
responsibility removed, I was free to do for my 
babies. They were happy enough — the centre of 
an admiring crowd. It was very difficult to say 
good-bye to the men who had shown such consid- 
eration during that eventful train ride. They 

kissed my hands — I wished them God speed from 

47 



48 Journeying FartHer 

my heart, and the first stage of our journey was 
over. 

We started on to find a doroszka (cab) . A lady 
of the Red Cross helpers had told me which hotel 
would be best for us. I was giving a coin to a 
soldier for carrying some pieces of our luggage, 
when another one almost knocked him down, 
crying : 

"Good-for-nothing! To take money from the 
Sister who has brought our comrades to Vilno!" 

After a drive through that dear old romantic 
town, we came to the hotel — the best there. It 
might have been improved upon, but, after a 
night in a cattle train, it was delightful. Hot every 
place, we could not get comfortable nor adjust 
our ideas. I secured two bedrooms and a sitting- 
room. There was one bath for the entire hotel! 
We washed and had dinner. The children were 
restless and cross, continually asking where the 
soldiers were. Immediately after eating some- 
thing, I started back to the station with Miss 
Gabryella. We were so tired, so hot. The people 
on the streets looked careless and happy, dressed 
in fresh, cool clothing. I grew quite resentful 



Journeying FartHer 49 

for awhile, the clothes of the ladies seemed to be 
the last straw. I wondered what was happening 
to mine. It really appeared to me a crime for 
people to go about as if nothing were the matter, 
when all my gods had fallen and were being 
trampled in the dust. I remember that state of 
mind during the drive back to the station, never 
having felt that way before, nor after. I was so 
worried as to be almost hysterical and felt if no 
news came from my husband I should surely not 
be able to endure the strain. Of course the danger 
was past, therefore I had nothing to keep me up 
to the mark. 

At the station were crowds of Suwalki people. 
One man of our acquaintance had brought with 
him only his walking stick! Another man had 
become separated from his young son, fourteen, 
and daughter, sixteen, on the station in Suwalki, 
— the train suddenly starting while they were 
fetching something, — and the poor father was on 
the verge of losing his reason, telling everybody 
over and over the story of his loss. 

Well, my jewels of price, my babies, were safe! 

I sent a long telegram to Warsaw, telling, as 
4 



50 Joximeying FartKer 

plainly as was permitted, what had happened, 
and decided to return to the children, but not 
before lending, or rather giving, money to a number 
of people. 

The station was like a club ; Suwalki had taken 
possession of it. The money I had carried seemed 
as if it were not my own, but given to help others. 

Oh, the wretchedness of that first day! Such a 
lot of people came for help that my money melted 
like snow in the sunshine. I took just as many 
as could be packed in our rooms, keeping only 
one room for the children. The servants slept 
in the laundry, one of them talking so loudly as to 
disturb everyone. It was necessary to call from 
the window, "A good girl says her prayers and 
goes to bed!" forgetting the poor thing had no 
bed! 

What a sight met my eyes when I glanced into 
the rooms where my "guests" were. Tired out, 
sad, and troubled, even in sleep, they lay about 
on the floor, on chairs put together, or twisted 
up on the little settees, all people of consequence 
before life had been turned upside down. 

The next day dragged wearily along, everybody 



Journeying FartKer 51 

waiting, living only to hear better news. The 
city was rapidly filling with refugees. In one 
place, an old convent, they were given a roof to 
sleep under, and hot tea. Townspeople were 
already carrying bread. 

A beautiful spot in Vilno was an out-of-door 
church. An archway is built over one of the 
principle streets, a much revered picture of the 
Madonna and child was unveiled, and there were 
never ceasing services. A sight it is to see all — 
coachmen, workmen, servants, and the gentle class, 
all mixed up, praying in the street, kneeling right 
down on the pavements. The refugees thronged 
this spot, and if one wished to find some one from 
Suwalki that was the place to look. There one 
could also hear the most blood-curdling tales. 
Suwalki must have been burned up fifty times the 
first day. 

Evening came at last, bringing even more people 
to get under cover; those who had driven or walked 
to Vilno. Our hotel had people lying about in 
the corridors. The children were showing the 
effects of all they had been through, and were 
nervous, restless, and difficult to manage. 



52 Journeying FartKer 

We had just settled down for the night when a 
messenger from my husband came. How glad I 
was to see that dear handwriting which told me of 
his distress over the news, and also that he was 
sure I should do the right thing — that the messen- 
ger, a friend, would do all necessary to get us out 
of the hotel and into our own house. I had quite 
forgotten that we had a house there ! In an apart- 
ment of it was the office of my husband's Warsaw 
engineering firm. Early the next morning we 
started out to find the place. How good it was 
to feel that at least one roof belonged to us in that 
town. The engineers and manager had all been 
called to serve in the army, leaving only a curious 
old serving-man who looked upon us with suspi- 
cion. We found the manager's room had couches, 
and was very comfortable, and a great room was 
equipped with drawing-tables which made quite 
ideal beds when one had slept on the floor a night 
or two. There was a large reception-room — and, 
oh! joy, a kitchen — though a tiny one — with a 
samovar! We hired some more things, and 
found a private family who would serve us with 
meals. 



Journeying FartKer 53 

By night we were once more living with a sem- 
blance of order. I was to go to meet my husband 
at the station at twelve o'clock. It had grown 
very cold and was raining. The station was 
packed full of people, who had no place else to 
go. The train was four hours late, but finally 
did arrive — and — one refugee in Vilno was happy. 

The next day my husband and I went about 
seeing various people — but always together — we 
were afraid of losing each other. 

Thursday — five days and a half after our arrival, 
we decided to leave for Warsaw, and turn the 
apartment over to one of our friends from Suwalki 
who was almost without means. Our Committee 
was in Warsaw, and it seemed we could do more 
good there. In Warsaw, we had a properly fur- 
nished house where we often stayed. Once more 
a hurried packing up. With us we took our gov- 
erness, nurse-maid, and cook. When at the station 
waiting for the train, which was very late, we saw 
a number of Japanese officers drinking tea. All 
trains were overfilled, but some force was driving 
us farther, so we went. We barely managed to 
get seats. I regretted not having worn my 



54 Journeying FartKer 

uniform — having on the only costume in my 
possession. 

Oh! what an endless journey it was. Every- 
thing was out of order, — but at last, Warsaw! 



CHAPTER IX 



WARSAW 



Warsaw looked curiously unfamiliar, even our 
own house — a large modern building with one 
apartment kept always ready for our occupancy. 
Ah! That was a pleasure to come into our own 
home with actual comforts and feel we might get 
things together once more, just a week from our 
forlorn arrival in Vilno when I did not know where 
my husband was. 

We bought supplies immediately, and as there 
were two servants in the apartment, soon had 
quite a household again. Such a dragging in of 
all sorts of supplies! 

Sunday we went to the little English chapel; 
there were a few people there. It was wonder- 
fully sweet to hear the familiar hymns. The chap- 
lain and his wife were old acquaintances of mine 
— she and their children were in England. 

55 



56 "Warsaw 

Monday we bought supplies. I hunted up a 
former nurse, who had married; finding her alone 
with her old mother-in-law to support, her hus- 
band having been called to service. Poor thing, 
in such circumstances, expecting a child — she was 
much changed from our pretty Cracow peasant 
girl in her bright costume. Her savings had dis- 
appeared, and poor Marysia was not even assured 
from want. 

That night we went to a theatrical performance 
— what — I have forgotten. Most things seem 
photographed on my mind, but only the circum- 
stance remains in this instance. 

Tuesday my husband got a letter from his 
father and mother begging him to come to Lublin, 
the family home. Of course he had to go, but 
I could not leave the children. That day, full 
of rumours and uncertainty, is also a memory, 
which will always remain. 

Wednesday, too, Wednesday night about eleven 
my husband returned to us. He had but greeted 
his parents, spent two short hours with the dear 
old people, and, filled with disquietude over the 
rumours flying about, had returned to us. Well 




Baby Wanda and her Polish Nurses in Cracow Costume 



"Warsaw 57 

that he did, for the next morning before day had 
fully dawned the Zeppelins visited us! Warsaw 
was bombarded ! 

Such explosions — and the return shots — people 
screaming — the town was alive in a moment and 
the exodus began. Our servants came rushing 
in demanding to go farther away. We still 
thought it was not necessary, especially as there 
was a committee meeting called for that day, but 
about noon there was some more bombarding — 
the Zeppelins doing greater damage. A hospital 
was struck and people were killed in the streets. 

That afternoon, the chaplain from the English 
chapel called to bid us good-bye. He was off to 
Moscow. All were going. He offered to get us 
seats in the special train which was leaving. We 
declined, thinking it was not necessary, but toward 
night the news grew worse. The army of the 
enemy was approaching Warsaw. A battle was 
inevitable. Troops and artillery wagons filled 
the streets of the city. 

Thursday night we did not go to bed because 
we went to see relatives and could not get back 
until the early morning hours, when we immedi- 



58 Warsaw 

ately made plans to get away from Warsaw on 
Saturday morning. 

On Friday, we were again favoured with the 
Zeppelins. That death dropping from the heav- 
ens — like rain on the just and the unjust is one 
of the few things I could not get used to. It 
always left me weak and trembling and hugging 
my babies, hoping that if death came to us we 
should all go together. That day we turned over 
the new supplies to our poor Marysia, telling her 
to fetch her mother-in-law and live in our apart- 
ment. Poor soul — what has happened to her by 
now? 

A visit to the station revealed an awful state of 
affairs. People mad with fear, camping about in 
the hopes of securing a place on the train. The 
poor little children crying from hunger — women 
with newly-born infants — all struggling to get 
something — they knew not what. Food was 
scarce in Warsaw and at the station there was not 
an atom. Where the buffet had been, was crushed 
full of humanity — or what had been humanity 
before fear had taken possession of it. 

We could do nothing to help. Our own desire 



Warsaw 59 

was also to get away — away from the fear — where 
we might rest. 

We managed to work our way to the ticket office, 
only to find the tickets would not be sold until 
seven in the morning! No amount of persuasion 
helped. I took my place there at the ticket office 
so we should at least be first in the morning, while 
my husband went back to the apartment to tell 
our governess, Panna Jadwiga, to have all ready 
when we came in the morning. 

In those four hours of waiting (until two o'clock 
Saturday morning) for my husband to return, 
what things I saw — what essence of misery ! We 
had a red-capped porter, but he told us some one 
must be with him. My husband brought a little 
food, but how could one eat with those starving 
creatures about? My husband and the man took 
turns standing at the window. Once a crowd 
pushing to get in the station hurt an enceinte wo- 
man. Through the fright and pressure she gave 
birth to her child — a little lifeless mite. We 
managed to get her through to where the Red 
Cross train was leaving. They took her on, with 
her dead baby wrapped in her petticoat — to go 



60 Warsaw 

where? To do what when she got there? The 
pitiful circumstance raised hardly a ripple on 
that crowd. People at such times take everything 
as a matter of course. 

At six, I went to fetch the children, not even 
conscious of being tired. They were just eating 
breakfast, under protest. How I dreaded taking 
them into that human vortex, but I had to be 
glad we could get away, and, in a few minutes, 
I had completed our arrangements, saying good- 
bye to that homelike apartment. 

Once more we were on the road, bag and bag- 
gage, off for Vitebsk, where we had no house of 
our own to walk into. All in Warsaw seemed 
going in one direction, to the Petrogradski sta- 
tion, one of those spots which is a long distance 
from every place. 

On the bridge over the Vistula, we were kept 
waiting some time by passing troops and forage- 
wagons, and the sound of them brought back Su- 
walki forcibly to mind. Eventually we reached 
our destination. We started to literally break 
our way through to the gate where my husband 
was waiting, Panna Jadwiga, the cook, and the 



"Warsaw 61 

maid, each carrying a child in her arms, with two 
men laden with luggage following. We had to 
climb over many who had finally succumbed to 
the rigours of the night. The crowd was apa- 
thetic. Our train was possible only for people who 
could pay first-class fares and place cards besides. 
When we got near the gates the pressure began 
and the children cried until they were carried 
shoulder high. At last the gates were opened, and 
we got to our places without further discomfort, 
only we were alone with the children, the servants 
being in the second car. Just one week before 
we had arrived in Warsaw from Vilno — and now 
— already on our way farther. How much had 
happened in that short week! 

I began to feel like the Wandering Jew; and 
Jews there were in that train, the first I ever saw 
travel on a Saturday in Poland. 



CHAPTER X 

WE ARRIVE IN RUSSIA 

I remember when we were nearing Brest 
Litowsk, the great fortress, how secure we felt — 
and how we spoke of the word she would speak 
to the enemy. 

The city lay in the bright afternoon sunshine, 
as we passed through, quiet and sure of herself, 
not knowing even then that traitors were planning 
to blow up her great magazines of supplies, thus 
robbing thousands upon thousands of men of 
ammunition and sending them defenceless to 
meet the enemy! 

In the morning, September 26th, we arrived in 
Vitebsk. It was very frosty, almost like winter. 
My husband liked the town very much, and had 
friends there, many owning estates in the neigh- 
bourhood. He had done his army service in 

Vitebsk, and was telling me tales of his experi- 

62 



"We Arrive in rvvissia 63 

ences as a junior officer. We began to smile 
once more and the burden lightened. Even when 
we discovered all the hotels to be crowded with 
refugees, we did not lose courage. 

In one hotel we found a big room with one tiny 
bed. All beds had been taken for the new hospi- 
tals, but, as the proprietors remarked, there was 
lots of room on the floor! Afterwards he gave us 
a tiny room for my husband, and then we were 
quite delighted. The mattress made a bed for the 
children on the floor. I lay upon the spring, 
Panna Jadwiga dropped down beside the child- 
ren, and the two servants curled up anywhere; 
and all were glad to be there. 

The next day, we searched for some sort of a 
dwelling, and found a wretched place, unsanitary 
as possible, under a hill beside a barracks, but we 
knew by that time that it was lucky to find even 
the worst of places. We agreed to take it, but 
there was still a two days' wait even then before 
it was ours. 

That same night my husband was notified that 
Suwalki had been cleared of the Germans, and 
that he was to return. Again I must stay with 



64 "We -Arrive in Prussia 

the children, and could not go with my husband. 
On Tuesday afternoon, he — with a lot of officials — 
left on what proved an eventful journey. How 
I wanted to go, too. 

It was a whole ten days before my husband 
returned, as from the dead, bringing us much 
news — and two trunks full of clothes ! My clothes 
were fairly untouched. Also some silver had 
been recovered. 

He had found our place in an awful state, it 
having been used as officers' quarters. However, 
they had left in too much of a hurry to carry off 
much. Our people had lived through terrible 
things, but only a few of them lost their lives. 
All the linen, the instruments, and everything 
removable had been taken from our hospital. 
After the battles near Suwalki, as the foe was 
driven back to East Prussia, there were said to 
be seven or eight thousand wounded! 

My husband had been given a post in Lemberg 
as chief or inspector of the Sanitary Engineers, 
and had just two days to spare with his little 
family. How hard it was to let him go, but no 
children were allowed in occupied territory. 



CHAPTER XI 

I SEE MY HOME ONCE MORE! 

On the 22nd day of October I was allowed to go 
to Suwalki, having a lot of instruments which had 
been bought and paid for in Warsaw while our 
hospital was still in existence. There was need 
for these in Suwalki, and I was longing to get into 
hospital work once more. I had been helping 
only at odd times, mostly in the sanitary trains. 
There being need for haste I did not travel with 
the slow-going empty Red Cross trains. The 
children were in excellent hands and it was quite 
possible for me to leave for a week or more. 

In Vitebsk, the station was full of men entrain- 
ing for the front, now the army was well into 
Prussia. Almost as soon as our train started 
something interesting happened. A Russian lady 
in my coupe, seeing I wore a Red Cross uniform, 

began to tell me something about a wounded 
s 65 



66 I See My Home Once More! 

Cossack — so much I understood even with my 
little knowledge of Russian. When I told her 
I was an American we began to speak in the 
language neither of us liked — German — but it 
was our only mutual tongue! She told me a 
young Cossack, discharged from the hospital, was 
standing in the corridor — weeping — surely some- 
thing in that to shock one! We went together 
to him — finally getting his story. What I did 
not understand she translated for me. He was 
young, boyish — had been wounded and his right 
arm had been amputated, but what seemed to 
cause him the most pain was that he could never 
ride again. He had been dismissed from the 
hospital in Vitebsk and had been told to go to 
Dwinsk. At the station, the quartermaster was 
to pay him — but he had gone to the station at 
twelve noon the day before, and at this time it was 
almost five in the afternoon! The quartermaster 
had not come, and our Cossack, weak though he 
was, had told no one his difficulties, and had 
waited all night in the station. Finally, the 
station-master told him to wait no longer, but to 
go on to Dwinsk, where he would draw his pay, 



I See My Home Once More! 67 

and, when he understood the circumstances, 
gave him a rouble; but the train left immediately 
and the poor fellow had had no time to get anything 
to eat. He seemed to feel bitter over what was 
really no one's fault. He should have told his 
troubles before they grew so great, but he was so 
very hungry and weak. We took him into our 
coupe and he demolished our combined lunches. 
I had a thermos bottle of hot tea. When he had 
eaten and was not quite so unhappy he said it 
"was always so with the Cossacks — as long as 
they were fit — at the front of the battle — but a 
wounded Cossack was no good to any one." I 
had a flask of cognac and asked if he wanted some. 
After he had drained off the tiny screw top full 
which I had a right to give him as medicine, he 
wiped his mustache, twisting it gallantly, saying, 
"Now I am a man, and will weep no more." 

Those tears, Slavonic tears, are not a sign of 
weakness, but of overwhelming temperament. 
Let no one judge the European from the Ameri- 
can or English standpoint; different countries, 
different customs, not that they all cry — but if so, 
it does not follow that man is less of a man for 



68 I See My Home Once More! 

doing so. There, for instance, the men kiss each 
other, carefully kissing the air in the direction of 
the ear, as a rule. How curious it is to see such 
a thing here. But they think we are cold and 
unfeeling. 

My journey to Vilno was quiet enough and 
there I had to wait some hours for a train to 
Suwalki; long enough to see our apartment and a 
lot of people who were our fellow refugees. As 
yet they had not been encouraged to return. The 
train left at six in the evening, and what a curious 
mixture it carried. All sorts and conditions of 
men, soldiers, civilians, Jews going after trade, 
etc. All went well enough until we reached Olita, 
the spot where the man had given tea and fresh 
bread for the people in my charge; here they also 
had known trouble and the town seemed very 
desolate. It was an uncomfortable place to be 
dumped out at one o'clock in the morning. We 
had travelled so slowly; and here there was not a 
sign of a train. 

There were a lot of Cossacks waiting to be sent 
on with their horses. Their Captain was very 
kind when my companion, a doctor's wife, ex- 



I See My Home Once More! 69 

plained I was carrying instruments to the hospital 
in Suwalki. He routed out the station-master 
saying there had to be a train — the Cossacks were 
tired of waiting — and we were to be given a place. 
A train was made up, and, as if by magic, a lot 
of wretched-looking Jews put in an appearance; 
the station-master was forced to sell tickets. For 
two stations he asked us to be in a caboose sort 
of an affair until they got hold of a proper carriage 
— at Olita there were none — those poor Jews came 
also. One started to make a fire — it was cold ; the 
fuel being free, he was not sparing of it, and the 
car almost caught fire from the red-hot stove. Of 
course, the poor Jew was thrown out bodily, and 
the stove after him at the next station. There 
we got into a comfortable carriage with only the 
officers; but it was unheated and cold. Instead 
of reaching Suwalki soon, we waited hours, and 
then crawled along awhile and waited again. So 
on through the day and evening, and still ordina- 
rily an hour away from Suwalki. But already 
we had seen evidence of war, — crosses standing 
out against the sky — marking where the slain lay. 
The whole night we waited, until stiff with the 



70 I See My Home Once More! 

cold, but at half-past six we really got in. The 
destroyed railroad had just been hastily rebuilt. 
Even at our snail's pace we sometimes rocked like 
a ship in a high sea. 

Curious it was, that return! The old station 
was changed, but still packed with people. Many 
were leaving Suwalki; those who had been there 
during the German occupation. One thing was 
noticeable — those who had been dark, were grown 
white. Vehicles there were of course none! In- 
sisting on starting afoot, dark as it was we plunged 
out into the gloom on a road so rough we appre- 
ciated the difficulties the train had met with. 

There were many things to seize our attention; 
ruined houses, broken-down fences. Everything 
where it did not belong. Troops on the march, 
who made instant way for us, advising eagerly 
how to avoid pitfalls. Gathering around us in- 
terestedly, officers and men, with no fear of 
drunken amiabilities. 

It was getting less dark when we reached the 
neighbourhood of our former home, but, lacking 
the courage to go there without a little rest and 
preparation, I went first with the doctor's wife 



I See My Home Once More! 71 

to her home. Her husband was camping in what 
had been their very charming house. The cook 
had the real "war" expression stamped on her 
face, much the same look must have those who 
have gone through an earthquake. A heroine 
she was, however, for when the officers left, with- 
out saying "good-bye," they set the house on 
fire, one dumping the contents of the lamp into 
the middle of his bed, and setting a match to it; 
but she, hiding in a wardrobe for fear of being 
taken along, saw this charming way of repaying 
hospitality, and extinguished the blaze. Her 
hands were terribly scarred, but her attitude of 
mind to be envied. The house was almost unin- 
habitable; but we did get some coffee. 

At half-past eight I started for our house. 
Jacob, the man servant, knew I was coming only 
a half -hour before I reached there, so I saw things 
as they were. Alas! My beautiful home was 
ruined. Knee-deep it was with things strewn 
about the floor, — every drawer, every closet 
emptied out! Papers, books, the very clothes 
my husband had brought to Vitebsk had lain in 
the accumulated dirt. 



72 I See My Home Once More! 

I walked through the drawing-rooms, trying 
my best not to breathe until I could get my head 
out of a window, but when I came to the library 
I gave up. It was so hideously befouled; — the 
books were torn to pieces, — that I gazed in aston- 
ishment. That men could have done such a 
degenerate thing ! We had had such a valuable col- 
lection of old books, manuscripts, seals, engravings, 
an extensive English library, some beautiful 
specimens of Polish peasants' art in carving and 
weaving, — and all had been thrown down in that 
hideous filth! My husband had told me there 
was no use talking of what the house looked like 
— that I had better go! I understood! He 
thought it would make me a better Pole to see 
how they were used by the army which came to 
set them free; and teach our boys accordingly. 
After those two awful rooms, which had been the 
apple of my eye, Jacob asked me to come to see 
the dining-room and pantries. Heavens! Could 
a worse pictureof wanton desolation exist? China, 
glass, linen, trodden upon ; used and thrown down. 
But, the pantries exceeded all else in fiendish, 
degenerate ingenuity, — for the rows upon rows 



I See My Home Once More! 73 

of jam pots, marmalade, preserves, and honey 
glasses had been emptied of their contents, filled 
with filth and returned to the shelves. 

It was like an inferno that house ; not as if men 
had occupied it — a pig sty is no comparison! 
Jacob told me there were a lot of officers and 
about forty soldiers. They had also quartered 
soldiers in the hospital on the first floor. 

Poor old house! It seemed human and asking 
for relief. I wondered what more they could have 
done had the occupation been longer. 

After going through with my inspection to the 
bitter end, I ordered Jacob with the help of his 
wife and daughter to clean it up, make it ready 
for occupancy. 

After all the horrible things, Jacob had one 
pleasure in store for me. He had taken my flag 
down from the boudoir walls, and laid it under a 
heavy wardrobe. This at least had not been 
insulted ! 

Leaving Jacob to his unpleasant work, I went 
to the Chief of Police who was bringing order 
out of chaos in the town, telling him what was 
missing. As far as I could judge it was my hus- 



74 I See My Home Once More! 

band's furs, travelling rugs, our food supplies, 
wines, all linen, most of the silver, much jewelry. 
I had taken with me only what I had in my case. 
All those things were gone. The rest could much 
of it be cleaned. 

Having done my duty, I started out to see the 
town. Everywhere the same story as in my own 
home. Could men have done this thing, — I could 
hardly believe my own eyes when I saw the Rus- 
sian church! Impossible to write — a pit of filth 
unspeakable, — the altar desecrated — the icons! — 
It flashed across my mind the verdict in the 
New Testament: "Be not deceived. God is not 
mocked, for what a man soweth that shall he also 
reap." How often I have had that verse in 
mind since that day. Sooner or later the army 
which desecrated God's house, and the homes of 
the people will pay the reckoning! 

The Cossacks, wild with fury over what the 
Germans had done, started on a journey of ven- 
geance into East Prussia. All the men I ever 
spoke to had the same desire, — vengeance for 
desecration! But not in the same way. A Slav 
would never use German methods; they would 



I See My Home Once More! 75 

burn, destroy; more innocent people would suffer 
for the sins of others ! The first time the Russians 
were in East Prussia they had not wrought 
destruction. 

I went to the hospital, where, after giving up 
the instruments I had brought, I found one of the 
priests — a friend. In the Catholic Church there 
had been no destruction. Packed with towns- 
people who were afraid to go home, the priest 
had kept services going, continually. This priest 
suggested that I go into the country to pick up 
children left alone in the fields — the Germans 
having taken all able-bodied peasants, men and 
women. 

In a light wagon the doctor's wife and I left 
Suwalki on the road which led to our villa. We 
were to be met by a Red Cross automobile at a 
point near a village. 



CHAPTER XII 

THE SURROUNDING COUNTRY 

On all sides of Suwalki had been the battlefield. 

There were great holes torn in the earth, trenches 

dug, and men buried. On one hillock we passed, 

where the rain had washed off the slight covering 

of earth, we saw boots sticking out ! The man 

driving us said ten thousand were buried there — 

that I cannot vouch for — but it seemed as if it 

might be true. Wherever we went there were 

graves — big graves hastily made — even now men 

were working to pile earth on the insufficiently 

buried. When we got to the forest we did not 

see so many, but the road was torn by artillery 

wagons, — trees were broken off at the roots. 

We had to walk now, a fearsome thing in the 

haunted forest. At one spot we came upon our 

forester. He was working, but recognizing who 

it was, he threw down his tools with the greeting, 

76 



THe Sxirrovinding Country 77 

"Oh! my lady, we thought you were all dead, 
because the dog is here." 

Our little dog Dash, taken by force along with 
the wagon by our acquaintance, during the evacua- 
tion of Suwalki, had been lost in the forest beyond 
Sejny, through the fleeing people, marching armies, 
and battlefields she had sought us. Coming at 
last to our villa, the forester had taken her to his 
cottage, and had fed and cared for her. It was 
like something from the other life, when that 
wiggling mass of happiness saw us. 

The forester told me our villa had been burned 
down by the Germans ; that all their food had been 
taken, their potatoes dug up, etc. 

We went farther on our way, and soon came 
nearer the recent battlefields, and found children 
wandering about, left alone — the parents driven 
into East Prussia; one child of four carried a baby 
of six months. They had eaten earth in the 
extremity of their hunger. How many days had 
they wandered? 

Our quest lasted over two days, finding always 
poor little waifs who had no roof to cover them. 
Every hut was burned down; gruesome work it 



78 THe Surrounding Country 

was. Many times we saw dead men. I won- 
dered why we struggled so to save our lives when 
so many had gone down. Going through the 
forest at dusk, we heard a child's cry, but could 
not locate the sound. In our search a wounded 
horse plunging through the underbrush came 
upon us. He passed so near I could have touched 
him. Frightened, I clung to a tree for dear life. 
How glad we were to find the automobile waiting 
for us, and to know the children sent back had 
arrived. We gathered over eighty — starving, 
literally starving to death. In Suwalki they were 
put into a school building. My governess was 
to take charge. 

That same night a sanitary train was leaving 
for Vitebsk with a tremendous load of wounded, — 
work enough. On that journey, almost three 
days, the little dog Dash helped pass the time 
for the wounded officers. I went into the operat- 
ing car at eight in the morning, leaving for meals 
only, staying until nine at night; it was trying 
work. The effort of standing is in itself much, 
but the sight of so much suffering, the tug at the 
heart strings; and one never gets through! We 



THe Surrounding Country 79 

stopped several hours at Vilno to work in the 
large room for that purpose at the station. Every- 
one was exhausted, and we could not crowd the 
men into the operating car. At the station, 
twenty at a time could be attended to. Most of 
the men had toothache aside from their wounds, 
and all coughed. It seemed a rule in that climate, 
at least, that all wounded suffer from the lungs 
in some form or other, — inflammation was the 
usual thing! We used to paint the aching teeth 
with iodine, putting absorbent cotton in them. 
The idea that something was being done for them 
helped, I imagine, more than anything actually 
done. 

Arriving in Vitebsk without any startling ad- 
ventures, I was welcomed hilariously by the 
children who had not expected to see Dash. 

Again a time of comparative quiet. Each day 
was like a week. The time moved so slowly. 
No letters from my husband, — only when some 
one brought them to me. A telegram I had each 
day, so misspelled there was little sense in it, and 
small satisfaction. 



CHAPTER XIII 

OFF TO GAL1CIA 

How tiresome it was in Vitebsk! We had only 
the ebb-tide of war; no excitement, unless the 
impossible newspaper extras could be regarded 
in this light. My Russian was most elementary, 
so it was out of the question to work in the hos- 
pitals; besides, there were sisters enough. We 
lived near a barracks, to my children's delight. 
Every time they went for a walk they brought 
back a soldier or two(!) who were delighted to 
have so much notice taken of them, and who 
played beautifully with the children. 

There is a wonderful childlike quality in those 

men. The samovar was always ordered for them, 

lots of bread and butter and of course cigarettes. 

Naturally the popularity of the children grew by 

leaps and bounds. When I decided to go to 

Lemberg the first week in December, having had 

80 



Off to Galicia 81 

no word from my husband for five days, the 
children promised to be very good and content 
during my absence if they might have the soldiers 
to play with, and money to buy them little pre- 
sents. A friend advised waiting and going into 
Galicia with a Red Cross train, but I was too 
impatient for that. At the station an officer 
told me in spite of my Red Cross uniform I could 
not get into Galicia without a permit, because 
there were so many spies about. But I decided 
to take my chances. 

The journey to Kiew was uneventful, until we 
reached the long bridge just beyond the city. 
There we were held from nine o'clock in the evening 
until half-past one in the morning — why, nobody 
knew. The night was like day because of the 
searchlight. Finally, when a fast train thundered 
by we were released. Afterwards, I learned that 
a high personage was on his way from Lemberg 
and his train had to have a clear way. 

Kiew is a lovely old-world city; so quaint, yet 
a busy, progressive place. After spending the 
rest of the night and the day there, I took the 
nine o'clock evening train for Brody. A very 



82 Off to Galicia 

interesting lot of people were my travelling com- 
panions; especially I remember a Russian lady. 
We had a long stretch together for the train did 
not come in until eleven o'clock. In all that time 
I did not see one unusual thing; it might have been 
peace times. 

At Brody, we had to change cars — then the 
gendarmes came for the special passports — I had 
only my Red Cross certificate. It seemed so 
strictly against orders that every one said I might 
as well make up my mind to wait for the next 
train. The gendarmes said that this was the 
only possible course; but I told them I could not, 
that it would bring me into Lemberg at night, 
that I did not know if my husband were in 
the city, and I demanded to see the Captain of 
the gendarmes. The Captain was very nice, 
but at first firm in his decision, even offering 
me his office to sit in until permission came 
from the Governor-General. I simply said, 
" Captain, I must go through now. You can't 
expect me to stop in Brody all night — such 
an awful hole — or to arrive in Lemberg at 
night!" 




The Author in Red Cross Uniform 



Off to Galicia 83 

"Why did the lady not tell her husband? Will 
he wish to have the lady there?" 

"Oh, if that is the difficulty you are safe — my 
husband wishes me to come, I am sure." 

"It is impossible. There are many spies 
about. I would get into trouble." 

"Please, Captain, I am an American, and I 
must go with that train. Send a telegram to my 
husband, but let me go!" 

After looking through my documents and Red 
Cross papers once more, he decided to let me go 
with the promise my husband would himself tell 
the Governor-General how I got in. As he put 
me on the train, he said it was well for him all the 
ladies were not from America, since they did as 
they pleased. 

We arrived in Lemberg at two o'clock. There 
were so few vehicles I had to wait a long time on 
the station — crowded, though it is an enormous 
place. There was the untidiness about it which 
goes with war, with soldiers lying about on the 
floor, etc. 

After a long wait I got a doroszka, with a coach- 
man who told me a lot about the occupation 



84 Off to Galicia 

of Lemberg. How the Austrians went without 
a word — and the Russians just walked in — and 
were very free with their money. 

Arriving at the address given me by my hus- 
band I found it was the magistrate (the city build- 
ings) with two soldiers on guard, and a number of 
automobiles before the door. 

When the soldier finally understood what it 
was I said, he dashed off, burst into my husband's 
room announcing, 

"There is a Sister down below who says she is 
somebody's wife!" 

My husband laughed and said, "She must be 
mine! That sounds like my wife's Russian!" 

To say he was astonished is putting it mildly. 
My letters and telegrams began to come after I 
had been there a day or two. The Governor- 
General was also amused at my success in getting 
in, and gave me a permission to visit Galicia 
whenever I wished. Unfortunately this was of no 
avail. 

Lemberg was in a curious state. There was a 
great deal of poverty, because all salaries had 
been stopped, the banks had gone, etc. The rich 




+ 



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Legitymacja JV© 

POLSKI KOMITET POMOCY SANITARNEJ 

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Facsimile of the Polish Red Cross Certificate 




pomocy. 




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Facsimile of Russian Red Cross Certificate 

(Reverse of Above) 



Off to Galicia 85 

people were worse off than the poor. Never- 
theless the theatres were open, and were well 
patronized. The town was not sad. The shop 
people sold everything they had, but could not 
get more merchandise. A very good soup kitchen 
had been opened so the townspeople need not 
starve. Fuel was the greatest difficulty. Many 
peasants earned money by bringing wood from 
the surrounding forests. 

Everything went on as usual, even to the number 
of Austrian uniforms seen upon the streets. The 
Russians gave their prisoners a great deal of 
freedom, the men living often in their own 
homes, or with friends. They were not objects of 
suspicion. 

Looking back it seems like a dream — those 
happy days we had together in Lemberg, even 
Teodor, my husband's orderly acquires a halo. 
He was such a character. From the first moment, 
he almost roasted me with the tremendous fire 
he insisted on always making — we thought the 
stove would crack. It was his way of doing me 
honour. Teodor was wounded in the forefinger 
of his right hand, and was mightily afraid I would . 



86 Off to Galicia 

ask to see it. Comfortable he was, and not anx- 
ious to go back to the trenches. The engineers 
said that all their comforts were taken and brought 
to us. He was so proud of having a Sister in his 
care. Each day there would be something new 
which he had discovered — once a bunch of old 
English newspapers from before the war — again 
a powder box — to say nothing of an elaborate way 
to serve tea. Of himself he said he was "Gold, 
not Teodor, " so honest he felt himself to be. 

We called on many of our acquaintances. My 
husband's old professor was in the university 
there, and very glad to have a friend at court. 

I talked with many people of the city. Most 
of them had relations in the Kingdom of Poland, 
and were glad they could go to Warsaw. Some 
said that, if the Russians evacuated, they would 
surely go along for fear of what would happen to 
them should their own army return, those poor 
people not knowing which direction to turn, but 
all believing in the ultimate triumph and freedom 
of Poland. A judge came to ask us if we could 
not get a pair of shoes for himself and wife. He 
had on galoshes, while she had to stay at home. 



Off to Galicia 87 

They had been on a visit and had been caught in 
Lemberg. Of course my husband gave them money 
for their most pressing needs, and was able to get 
some work for the judge. So it was with many. 
Galicia always was poor and full of people living on 
state salaries — which suddenly had stopped. 

One night, we went to a cabaret where they 
tried to be gay without wine or spirits of any kind. 
It was funny to hear a man order a bottle of water. 
The Lemberger especially did not like it, — but 
how decorous was that cabaret! At the "Hotel 
George," the place of Lemberg, it was just the 
same! An American with the Red Cross said it 
was like a Sunday School. I suppose after there 
has been no wine nor wodka for many years, 
people will learn to be gay because they are glad, 
not because of anything they may have to drink. 

On the 1 6th of December, I was once more in 
Vitebsk, finding all very well, and a pressing re- 
quest for me to sing at a Red Cross concert (for 
the benefit of the Warsaw sufferers, to get coal, 
etc., for them) in the Opera House Christmas 
evening. Though I had not sung since the war 
began, it was impossible to refuse. 



88 Off to Galicia 

The concert was a great success, even though 
Warsaw was hanging in the balance — the battle 
fiercely raging. Our tableaus or living pictures 
were changed at the last moment for fear we had 
made them too decided, but patriotic they were! 

I was Britania. Naturally a most lovely girl 
in national costume was Russia; poor little Bel- 
gium forgot her lines. France called for a box 
to stand on because she could not be seen, etc. — 
but the concert and pictures were a success, and 
something over three thousand roubles cleared. 



CHAPTER XIV 

BACK TO SUWALKI 

I was expecting my husband continually, but 
he did not come. New Years, and still alone! 
The whole month of January went by in anxious 
waiting. Finally, on the 28th, he came unan- 
nounced. In arranging a fever hospital near Lem- 
berg he had contracted an illness, a serious one, 
and was really not fit to travel. This was the 
first of a series of misfortunes, for he had permis- 
sion for us to return to Suwalki, and we decided 
to go. The hospital work called me and we were 
so badly situated in Vitebsk. Wherever we were, 
the separation was the same.. Our own home 
was always better. Suwalki was quiet, schools 
were open, the Governor was in residence, so we 
decided to go on the 2nd of February. 

This time the journey was made without diffi- 
culty in first-class carriages all the way. We 

89 



90 BacK to SirwalKi 

arrived at midnight on the 3rd. I remember the 
ride over the snow, the sleigh bells, the glorious 
moonlight, through the quiet town to our home, 
— ours even if desecrated. Jacob had arranged 
six rooms in the left wing, and had transferred 
the kitchen to what had been the bathroom, big 
enough for two kitchens! There was furniture 
enough for this suite after a vigorous cleansing 
process. The rest of the house was shut off en- 
tirely. Even though it was so terribly cold, I 
heaved a sigh of relief to be back after all the 
wanderings. 

My husband was tired out by the journey, so 
I bent all my energies to ntaking him comfortable. 
However, I had a new patient. My little boy 
Wladek was feverish. Not much time for outside 
work for me! But enough to see how the little 
children picked up in the fields were getting on. 
With our Panna Jadwiga they were well cared 
for and getting to look more like children. 

Food to buy we found in plenty. Petroleum, 
everything — a few bottles of spiritus for the lamps 
we also discovered. Of course there was no gas. 

The townspeople were so glad to have us back. 



BacK to SvrwalKi 91 

It was quite touching. If all had been in good 
health I should have been almost happy for two 
days, helping rearrange the hospital in the first 
floor of our house. 

Wladek grew no better. A curious lethargy 
had possession of the child. The doctor could not 
decide what the trouble was, but the fever grew. 

On the 8th bad news came. My husband had 
to go back to his post, and Suwalki was once more 
to be evacuated. 

On the 9th Wladek was no better. We sus- 
pected typhus. That night I insisted on my hus- 
band leaving, saying I would meet him in Warsaw. 
It was dangerous for him to stay longer. He 
must not be caught, and with the ill child I could 
not go. The poor little fellow began to be deli- 
rious. Ah! that night when we sat together and 
spoke as if the great separation were not at hand 
— and the good-bye ! 

I listened to my husband's footsteps on the 
frozen snow, one last look, then silence as of death. 
I knew the impossibility of going with Wladek, 
and his twin brother was sickening. Surely the 
Germans would come and find me ! 



92 Bach, to SvrwalHi 

In the morning the doctor promised to come 
again in the afternoon, but when he finally came 
in the evening it was only for a moment to say 
he would come in the morning and . . . went 
straight to the station. He knew well enough 
what it was, but did not wish to tell me. 

On the ioth the whole town was on the move — 
the same haste but less accommodation, and bitter 
cold weather. There were only unheated freight 
cars if I had wished to risk my boy's life. It 
seemed better to let him die in his bed than out 
in the open — I felt like a rat in a trap. Many 
people who had not stopped in the first evacua- 
tion were remaining, thinking if the Germans 
came their stay would be a short one. 

The wires were cut. I could not telegraph! 
And all the doctors were gone! I tried to put 
all thought out of my mind except my children; 
to accept the inevitable. 

Again supplies were bought and carried in, all 
I could get, and the moment it was possible to 
leave Wladek I spent concealing them in various 
places where it seemed unlikely any one would 
look. 



BacK to SvrwalKi 93 

On the nth of February, 191 5, Suwalki was 
once more quite empty. All avenues of escape 
were closed. We were waiting the sacrifice. The 
Russian army was retreating. 

That night, bending over my sick boy, hearing 
sounds of voices in the house, I woke my cook and 
taking a candle went to investigate. The place 
was full of Russian soldiers ready for the march. 
They begged leave to rest. I told them they 
should have what comfort I could give them if 
they would only be quiet as there was a sick child. 

My cook boiled samovar after samovar, but 
even then there was too little to go round. The 
officers were invited into the rooms I was occupy- 
ing, and they told me a little of what was hap- 
pening. The whole army was on the move. 
They asked if I could not get away. 

The next morning my midnight visitors were 
all gone, but the gardens and streets were alive 
with men — all mixed together, infantry, artillery, 
Red Cross, forage-wagons, wounded, Sisters, 
doctors, priests — with that curious murmur as 
of many bees. Muddy slush almost to the knees. 
A thaw had set in. Men and animals suffered 



94 BacK to SuwalKi 

discomfort, and were dissatisfied. I went out in 
all this to find a doctor who would come to us. 
I shall not forget that search; in and out among 
the wagons, among the horses — and I am timid 
by nature. Before the war I was afraid of a 
mouse, of thunder. But no more! 

The soldiers assisted me as much as possible. 
I found several lazarettes with doctors in charge, 
but they were forbidden to leave without permis- 
sion, and to get the permission was difficult. 

I was sorry for the Red Cross Sisters. They 
looked wearied and dishevelled after the retreat, 
and all were anxious. 

I finally found the surgeon in charge — like a 
general — and he came most willingly. 

The diagnosis was typhus, the bad kind. I 
had known it myself. The doctor said: 

"Keep up your courage; on you depends your 
child's life. God will help you. He will save the 
boy without a doctor!" 

The kind soul, often I thought and prayed for 
him, a poor ill-used prisoner that he was. 

I went back with him to where his staff was 
waiting. His wife, who was a Sister, had grown 



BacK to S\rwalKi 95 

anxious in his absence. How I envied her! He 
gave me two bottles of champagne. Our cellars 
had been emptied by the Germans, and there was 
great need of something for my poor baby. I 
said good-bye to those kind, unfortunate people, 
and picked my way through the streets across the 
park towards home. Many of the men, tired out, 
had thrown themselves down on the ground. One 
had to climb over them. Some had built fires 
to cook food. How miserable it was; and we were 
all in the same boat. 

Four soldiers who were very ill, hardly able to 
walk, were entrusted to my care by a doctor, who 
I met on my way back. He said they would be 
better with me. It was no use torturing them by 
dragging them along, so I took them home, giving 
them into my cook's care. 

Wladek was growing steadily worse. It was 
necessary to forget everything in the fight for 
his life. The babble of delirium was awful to 
hear. It tore my heart when he constantly 
called for his father, "Tatus — Tatus." I thought 
after living through that moment — nothing could 
reach me, but I did not know. 



96 BacK to SuwalKi 

"At least we had a comfortable, well-arranged 
apartment. Surely the Germans if they came, 
would leave me that corner of my own house. 
We had food, fuel, and I must think only of the 
children," so I talked to myself. 

Little Wanda and Stas still played together, 
though I noticed Stas was not himself. What 
one of the twins had the other invariably took. 

There was a nurse; Panna Jadwiga had gone 
to Vilno with those children when the town was 
evacuated; my cook, a host in herself! Jacob 
the butler, his wife, and daughter, a girl not yet 
seventeen. 

Jacob lived in what had been our kitchen in 
reach of the bell. It might have been worse, I 
told myself, and prepared to face the situation. 

The Russian army left suddenly, going toward 
Sejny — not a soul on the streets. Silence! Three 
or four hours later they came rapidly through the 
town, going towards Augustowo, and once more 
silence. At eleven o'clock there were still artil- 
lery wagons on the streets. I went to the four 
6oldiers. The cook had given them food, they 
were lying in comfortable beds, and so pitifully 



Bach, to SirwalKi 97 

grateful. They said, "If the Germans come we 
will leave you, little Sister!" 

That was an awful night ! I had to hold Wladek 
in bed. The little tongue never stopped an in- 
stant. I was worn out, having been already three 
nights continually on my feet, but at last morning 
dawned on an empty town. Not a soldier or a 
horse was in sight. 

About nine o'clock a peasant came to tell me 
the Germans were coming! Some one had seen 
them. I made the four soldiers eat, and gave 
them food and cigarettes to carry with them. 
They were ill men. After a mutual blessing they 
went back to await their fate. 

Suddenly hearing an uproar, I saw some of the 
bad elements of the town looting, searching for 
food, knocking each other down, screaming — a 
horrid sight! The Jews who were always so 
meek, had now more self-assertion, strutting 
about, stretching up until they looked inches 
taller. It was hard work to tear myself away 
from the balcony. I, too, seemed unable to control 
myself, running from the balcony to the child 
and from the child to the balcony. 



98 Bach, to Su-walKi 

At eleven the streets again grew quiet, the time 
was near, and I saw the first pikel-haube come 
around the corner, rifle cocked — on the lookout 
for snipers! 



CHAPTER XV 

THE GERMANS OCCUPY SUWALKI 

The first one was soon followed by his comrades. 
Then an officer, who rounded the corner, coming 
to a stop directly before our windows. An old 
Jewess stepped out and saying, "Guten Tag," 
handed him a packet of papers, and gave various 
directions with much gesticulation. A spy at our 
very door ! A woman I had seen many times ! Busy 
with Wladek I saw no more for a while when a 
cry from the two other children made me rush 
to the window. They were coming into our court. 
The soldiers! And in a moment rushed into the 
room where we were, in spite of the signs tacked 
up on all doors "Tyfus." Seeing me in the Red 
Cross uniform they held back a moment. One 
bolder than his comrades laughed saying, "She 
is trying to deceive us," and came toward me 
with a threatening gesture. Then with all my 

99 



ioo The Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 

fear, God gave me strength to defy them. In 
German, which fortunately I speak very well, I 
asked what they wanted. 

"Food and quarters." 

"You cannot stop here. There is typhus." 

"Show us the ill ones." 

Opening the door to my own bedroom where the 
child lay, talking, moving the little hands inces- 
santly, I saw that the nurse from the excess of 
fright had crawled under the bed. The soldier 
yanked her out, saying he would not hurt her, 
chucked her under the chin, and called her a 
1 ' pretty animal ! ' ' Poor Stephania, she could hardly 
stand! I, in my anxiety, pushed the soldier from 
the room, to find the others already making them- 
selves at home. 

"You cannot stop here. Go away! I am not 
afraid of you; I am an American. If you do any 
harm to us the world shall hear of it!" 

They had been drinking, and the very fact that 
I defied them made an impression. 

"Go out on the road. I will send food to you." 

They went. One of them, giving me a look of 
sympathy, said: 



THe Germans Occvipy SvrwalKi 101 

"You have my sympathy, Madame." 

That gave me courage, and shutting the door 
I went back to my boy. Always the same; I 
should not have left his side for an instant. 

The town by now was in an uproar, every one 
seemed screaming together. As I looked from 
the window, my hand touched the prayer-book 
lying on the table. 

"Lord, give me a word, a promise, to keep me 
steadfast and sane!" The book opened at the 
55th Psalm — "As for me I will call upon God, 
and the Lord shall save me." Even in the stress 
of the moment reading to the end of the chapter — 
"Cast thy burden on the Lord." A conviction 
came to me then that God would keep us all safe ! 

Soon I had to wake to the fact that the house 
was being looted. Jacob, his wife, and daughter 
ran into the room. The soldiers had been knock- 
ing them about, taking all the food they could 
lay their hands upon. It was pandemonium let 
loose! An under-officer came to make a levy on 
my food for the army going through to Augustowo. 
He, with his men, looked into every hole and 
corner, but did not think to look inside the couches, 



102 THe Germans Occupy SxrwalKi 

which were full of things! To see your provisions 
carried off by the enemy is not a pleasant sensa- 
tion. I asked the under-officer if it were possible 
the town was to be looted and burned. 

"Looted — yes — to^ revenge East Prussia! 
Burned, not yet, — not unless we go!" 

These first men had a black cover drawn over 
their caps and afterwards I heard they were from 
the artillery. Always the worst! Just at this 
time there was a great tramping of horses right 
in the rooms under us — where the hospital had 
been arranged — a thundering knock on the door, 
and a captain with his staff walked in. A tre- 
mendously big man, he seemed to fill the place ! 

"Guten Tag." 

"Guten Tag, meine Schwester — Hier habe ich 
quartier." 

"Are you not afraid of typhus?" 

"Nonsense — we are all inocculated. Is there 
really typhus?" 

1 ' Have you a doctor, captain ? Let him decide !" 

A very fat boy just from the university was 
presented to me; so young, twenty-three and in- 
experienced, to have such a responsibility. Ex- 



THe Germans Occupy S\rwalKi 103 

amining Wladek he decided it was dysentery, 
and tore down my notices ! 

As there was no appeal, I tried to be amiable. 
The Herr Kapitain was not so bad ; he cleared the 
house out, and at least only orderlies came through ; 
but for us was left only the bedroom. Children, 
servants, all packed together with the typhus 
patient. The Captain was courteous enough, 
but said I would have to feed staff and men. That 
day seemed endless. With every moment came 
fresh troops, and I was glad the Herr Kapitain 
was in my apartments. At least there would be 
no looting. The rest of the house was full to 
overflowing with soldiers. Naturally they blamed 
the horrible disorder there on to the Russians. 
A telephone was soon in operation, and we were 
headquarters. All sorts of wires there were, and 
a rod sticking out of the roof. We were forbid- 
den to go near that part of the house. 

Every few minutes some one came to ask me to 
help them; the poor people, they thought I could 
make the soldiers give up pig or horse or chickens. 
At six the Captain told me he wished supper in 
half an hour. The cook seemed on the verge of 



104 THe Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 

losing her reason with some one continually 
making a raid on the kitchen, but she managed to 
get ready by seven. There were eight officers at 
the table — and they demanded wine. 

"I have no wine." 

' ' The old Jewess told us you brought home two 
bottles of wine when the Russians left." 

"That was given me for my children." 

"The children have no typhus, the doctor says, 
so they do not need wine — bring it to us." 

So I gave up my precious bottles. The forage- 
wagons of the Germans had not come; they had 
no food with them and no wines, but the town 
fed them to the last mouthful. They turned in 
at half-past ten, leaving an atmosphere you could 
cut. It was so thick with tobacco smoke ! Once 
more I could be without interruption with my 
children, for I had to serve the officers, pour their 
tea, etc. ; it seemed as if one could not live through 
another such day. My boy was unconscious, 
— talking — talking — talking — all night long — no 
rest for me! He needed constant attention, and 
his brother Stas was also very feverish, while 
Wanda girl was so nervous and excited she could 



THe Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 105 

not sleep, wishing to talk with her mother. That 
night, the first of the German occupation, I began 
a journal, to write all that happened, like a daily 
letter to my husband. I hoped the Germans 
would not stay long! About my boy, I knew it 
was typhus, — the officers knew it too, only it did 
not please them to say so. And I resolved to pay 
no attention to what that fat boy, the medical 
student, should order. He wished to give all 
sorts of medicines — when the best treatment was 
constant baths (which, under the circumstances 
were impossible), or a cold compress around the 
body to take the temperature down. I knew it 
was a fight between heart and fever. The medi- 
cine was a spoonful of champagne at moments of 
great weakness, but the officers had finished that ! 
— and a spoonful of milk, as food, but this also 
was out of the question. Nevertheless, I was 
determined to find something. Black coffee was 
to be had, and turned out to be my only medicine. 
The night wore away. The child grew terribly 
weak about four o'clock, and it seemed as if he 
were going and were held only by sheer force of 
my desire. If he could only sleep! Stas slept 



106 The Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 

restlessly. Little Wanda was sorry for her mother, 
constantly waking to ask why Mammy did not 
lie down. 

When six o'clock came the Captain thundered 
in, demanding breakfast, and hoping I had slept 
well. 

Arousing those poor people lying about on the 
floor, I freshened my own costume, trying to look 
as formal as possible. There was no bread. 
The Captain, informed of this, brought a loaf. 
They finished my butter, and drank an enormous 
amount of coffee. As I served them the cook 
came to tell me a lot of people were waiting, 
begging me to intercede for them. An old man 
rushed in after her, threw himself on the floor, 
kissing my hands and knees, weepingly telling 
how the soldiers had held him, had taken his two 
young daughters, had looted the hut, even to his 
money buried in the earth of the floor. They had 
then gone, taking the girls with them. The poor 
father crawled around the table, kissing the offi- 
cers' hands. They laughed uproariously when 
one gave him a push which sent him sprawling 
over the floor. 



THe Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 107 

The Captain, seeing my look of disgust (I 
learned to conceal my feelings better afterwards), 
asked me, "Whatever was the trouble — why he 
howled so!" 

After I told him what had happened the Cap- 
tain looked black and silent for a moment; then 
said he could do nothing. The girls now belonged 
to the soldiers, and I even saw he was sorry. One 
of the others, however, laughed, saying the father 
was foolish to have stopped about when he 
was not wanted. That was my introduction to 
Prussian Schrecklichkeit. 

The other people waiting had mostly been 
turned out of doors while the soldiers slept in their 
beds, or were asking help to get back a pig or a 
horse, or else they were injured. I told them to 
go away and be glad they had their lives, that just 
now there was no help, but I would do all that 
lay in my power. 

We heard the sound of battle all that day over 
Augustowo way. It seemed already like a friend, 
our only connection with the world. Another day 
of miserable anxiety, the boy always worse, and 
the trouble of providing food for all those men. 



108 The Germans Occupy SxrwalKi 

I knew that a friendly seeming attitude on my part 
was our salvation. The Captain under all his 
gruff ness had a kind heart, but even in that short 
time I had learned what the German system means. 
Their idea is so to frighten people that all sem- 
blance of humanity is stamped out ! Every time 
something awful happened they said there was 
East Prussia to pay for. 

A lady who had remained, came to ask me to 
beg that her bed clothing should not all be taken. 
The Captain inquired if the things asked for were 
mine. 

"No." ■ 

"Then I cannot interfere. When something 
is taken from my quarters is time enough to make 
an inquiry." 

It was about dinner-time when this occurred, 
and as in retribution, the officers were just about 
to sit down when my cook rushed in crying out 
that two soldiers came into the kitchen — while 
one held her (I am sure he bore the marks of her 
nails!) the other ran off with a ham and the potatoes 
ready for the table. 

The officers were furious, and went out to find 



THe Germans Occupy SirwalKi 109 

" the culprits. They were found, and a part of 
the ham and potatoes also. Both got a terrible 
lashing, enough to take all the manhood out of 
them. 

When this was told me as their supper was served, 
I asked why the men had been punished. They 
all had license to do as they pleased. Many 
dinners had been taken from the stoves that day 
in Suwalki. "But not where die Herrn Offiziere 
are!" There was the whole story. We did not 
exist — therefore no one could be punished for 
what they might do to harm us! 

During that supper, it seemed as if all the offi- 
cers in Suwalki came to say good-evening. I 
would hardly get one samovar emptied and go to 
the children than they would ask for another, 
at the same time expressing sorrow for my trouble, 
and saying the officers wished to meet the Ameri- 
can lady, — and I dared not refuse ! It was possible 
to avoid giving my hand in greeting because of 
the sick child. How miserable to be so torn 
asunder! To be kept there with those men when 
my baby needed me every minute, but what was 
there to do? C'est la Guerre } as all the Germans 



no The Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 

remarked in exceedingly bad French. One of 
the officers who came was evidently a very 
great personage. They paid him such deferential 
respect. He looked just like an Englishman. I 
told him so and he said his mother was an English 
woman — seemingly taking great pleasure in my 
remark, going on, however, to say the stain could 
only be washed from his blood by the shedding 
of much English blood! I shivered to hear the 
awful things he said; about having fought since 
the beginning of the war on the west front where 
he had many to his account ; how, when the affair 
with the Russians was settled, and a peace made, 
he was going to England to call on his cousins, 
with not less than a hundred lives to the credit of 
his good sabre! It made me ill to hear him talk. 
In their power, one loses the vision of freedom or 
right; they rilled the horizon; it is very difficult 
not to lose courage and hope. I did ask if there 
were no one else to take into consideration. 

"Who?" 

"Just God!" 

1 ' God stands on the side of the German weapons ! ' ' 

That night was worse than the first, the forage- 



THe Germans Ocoupy SvrwalKi in 

wagons had come! The drinking began. After 
I had served many samovars of tea, if you could 
call it so, half a cup of rum and a little tea, in and 
out, in and out from the children to the table, the 
officer whose mother's blood he wished to wash 
away, had sufficient decency to say I was tired 
and should be left undisturbedly with the children. 
That second night was as the first, only Stas also 
began to rave, talking in that curious dragging, 
almost lilting, tone, — one who has heard does not 
forget that dread sign! 

Going from one little bed to the other, placing 
compresses, wetting the lips so cruelly dry, chang- 
ing the sheets, — while in the next room those 
men caroused! It was only God's mercy kept 
me sane. Afraid to put on a dressing-gown I 
remained as I was. 

About five o'clock there was a great rushing 
about. Fresh troops were ordered to Augustowo. 
Many from our house were leaving. The staff 
remained, but my acquaintance of the night before 
was off. He came at that hour to wish me good-bye, 
showing me the picture of his wife and little daugh- 
ter, telling me how "brilliantly" the child was 



H2 THe Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 

going through the teething process! A gallant 
figure he was, mounted on a beautiful horse, as 
I looked out of the window, thinking sadly what 
those new troops meant. 

That morning a Jew came to tell me he had some 
bread. By paying him well he gave me quite a 
quantity. Our supplies were getting low. The 
officers' mess had come, which served them with 
meat — but there was still much for me to provide, 
and it was only the third day! 

The house was much quieter that morning, 
so that the sound of the little voices carried into 
the sitting-room. Every once in awhile Stas 
would shriek horribly, frightening me even more; 
but as a rule, during the day, they lay, constantly 
moving hands and head, talking incessantly, not 
recognizing me, and not sleeping. I should have 
given them milk, but there was none, — the only 
thing I had was tea or coffee — both rapidly 
disappearing. 

The weather was very bad, snowing, the icy 
kind, which hurts one's face; it seemed to fit in 
with the other misery. 

The officers were gay at dinner. They told 



THe Germans Occupy SurwalKi 113 

me that day about the amiable project to surround 
Great Britain with submarines, that no atom of 
food might reach her shores. How in a few days 
the blockade was to begin, every ship was to be 
torpedoed! England through starvation was to 
be brought to her knees, the Germans were to be 
the lords of the universe, etc., etc. What a 
picture was drawn for me! Hard to keep one's 
balance and think the other side would also have 
a word to say in such a matter, not sitting idly 
by while the Germans put the world into their 
idea of order! 

Shortly after dinner they all went away, leaving 
only the orderlies, to watch things. The two 
belonging to the Captain were very unpleasant. 
I could not bear them about, especially Max. 
Fritz was brutal and stupid — Max was cruel and 
not stupid! About my usual work, and trying to 
amuse Wanda girl, we all suddenly stopped still, 
breathless at sounds from the street! Wanda 
cried out : ^ 

"Oh, Mammy, our soldiers have come back — 
I hear their voices." 

Yes, they had come back, — but how! The 



H4 THe Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 

street was full of them, thousands, driven along 
like dogs, taunted, beaten, if they fell down, 
kicked until they either got up or lay forever 
still; hungry, exhausted by the long retreat and 
the terrible battle. I could have screamed aloud 
at what was enacted before my eyes; but there was 
my poor little girlie to quiet ; she cried so bitterly. 
I told her she should carry bread to the Russians. 
My cook brought the bread cut up in chunks. I 
told her to go down to the mounting block with 
Wanda, thinking surely a little delicate child 
would be respected, and the surest means of get- 
ting the bread into the prisoners' hands. It 
seemed to me if I could not help some of those 
men I should go mad. Leaving the nurse with 
my sons, I went to the balcony, seeing many fa- 
miliar faces in the company of misery. When 
Wanda and the cook reached the block, there was 
a wild rush for the bread ; trembling hands reached 
out, only to be beaten down. One German took 
a piece from my little girl's hands, broke off little 
bits, throwing them into the air to see those 
starving men snatch at them and then hunt in 
the mud. Finally one Christian among them 



THe Germans Occupy S\rwalKi 115 

gave the cook assistance; the bread was getting 
to the men, only we had so little. Then some- 
thing so terrible happened that while I live it 
can never be blotted from my memory. Wanda 
— my little tender, sensitive child, had a chunk of 
bread in her hand, in the act of reaching it to a 
prisoner, when Max, the Captain's orderly came 
up. Taking the bread from her hand he threw it 
in the mud, stamping on it! The poor hungry 
prisoner with a whimpering cry, stooped down, 
wildly searching, when Max raised his foot, and 
kicked him violently in the mouth! Wanda 
screamed: "Don't hurt Wanda's soldier!" The 
blood spurted all over her ! 

Rushing down-stairs I gathered my poor little 
girlie into my arms, her whole little body quiver- 
ing with sobs, and faced the brute, which had 
done the deed. 

"What religion are you, Max?" 

"Roman Catholic." 

"Then I hope the Mother of God will not pray 
for you when you die, for you have offended one 
of God's little ones." 

The soldier with bleeding mouth was lying on 



n6 The Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 

the side of the road; my cook tried to help him, 
but was roughly driven away. 

Carrying Wanda up stairs, trying to still her; 
heart-broken myself, what could I tell the little 
creature? Suddenly she asked: 

"Mammy — why does God sleep?" 

"God is not asleep, darling " 

"Then Wanda don't love God when He lets 
the soldiers be hurt and kicked!" 

"God sees all and loves all — but the bad man 
gets into the hearts of some of His children " 

Difficult it was to do anything when I came 
back into that room where my little sons lay rav- 
ing, not to just sit down and nurse my girlie, six 
years old, to have seen such sights ! While attend- 
ing the boys, another scream from Wanda took 
me to the window. No wonder she screamed! 
The captured guns were being brought into the 
town with the Russians hitched to them, driven 
with blows through the icy slush of the streets, 
while the horses were led along beside them! Wanda 
cried so hysterically, that she had to have bromide; 
the child was ill. Surely there was nothing worse 
to come? 



THe Germans Occupy SvrwalKi 117 

The Captain, hearing the sounds and wanting 
his supper, came into the room. 

" Go away, Captain, if you are a man, and leave 
me alone with my babies." 

• ' What is the trouble ? Is the little girl ill also ? ' ' 

"Have you seen what is happening with the 
Russian soldiers, taken prisoners?" 

"Yes, I have seen." 

I told him what his orderly, Max, had done. 
He slowly, gravely answered: 

"Yes, that is bad." 

"Where are all those prisoners?" 

"In the churches." 

Then he said, "Do not show so much sympathy 
— it will only do you harm and help no one. A 
great man will be quartered here tomorrow. Do 
not let him see you like this; some day when the 
children are well you will wish to get away from 
here." 

"But the Russians will have retaken Suwalki long 
before that day, and my husband will be here." 

"Never, and never, not while there is a German 
soldier! Now, be brave and smile, and I will 
help you as lays in my power. " 



n8 The Germans Occupy SxrwalKi 

But that evening I was not "begged" (?) to 
serve tea! What a night it was. My boys were 
so ill, and I could not pray that God save them 
for me. I dare not! God knows, I had come 
to a stone wall. It was not even possible to feel 
that somewhere my husband was alive. We 
were cut off from the living. 



CHAPTER XVI 

THE OCCUPATION 

The next day, Friday, the Great Man was 
quartered on us, the staff officers finding some 
place else to sleep, coming only to meals. Much 
food also made its appearance, so my couchfuls 
were still fairly undisturbed. I had hoped to be 
let alone, that it would not be necessary to serve; 
but I was not allowed that luxury. It was neces- 
sary to serve coffee, and look pleased with doing 
so. After the meal, I showed the workings of the 
samovar to the detestable Max and left. The 
Great Man paid little attention to me except to 
greet me courteously. I could have done with less 
courtesy if he had given different orders to the 
army. All the misery, the awful orders, came from 
him, the Shrecklichkeit we were face to face with. 
By his orders, the prisoners were cruelly deprived 

of food, and the levies were laid upon the people. 

119 



120 The Occupation 

I do not think soldiers meant anything to him as 
men, they were simply creatures of his will, to 
serve his ends. It is said that all great men are 
egoists, — this one certainly was. We were so ab- 
solutely in this man's power, and he was ruthless! 

When a man's personality weighs down those 
about him with a hopeless depression, in Poland 
they say, "he sits on my head." It is a wonder- 
fully expressive phrase. The Great Man " sat on 
my head " very heavily. He drank copiously (in 
fact, I have never seen such a capacity for 
Schnapps), ate tremendously, and the only topic 
of conversation was what he had done or was 
about to do. 

My house was only to be used a day or so. 
There were other quarters being arranged. 

Saturday a strange piece of news came to my 
ears. The officer with the English mother, after 
having been two days in battle at Augustowo — 
hand to hand engagements — and most desperate 
righting — was at mess with the other officers in a 
peasant's hut. Called to the telephone he had 
scarcely picked up the receiver when a shell from 
the Russians, one of the few they sent that day, 



THe Occupation. 121 

burst near the hut. A piece came through the 
roof, instantly killing the man who had been so 
sure God was an interchangeable word with 
Kaiser! When the news was told me it seemed 
like a rebuke. That man appeared to be so 
mighty, backed by an invincible force, but when 
God said enough, how quickly was he still ! 

The days went by without rest for me. I was a 
machine — night after night with my patients — 
how pitiful they looked — little grey shadows of my 
darling boys. They never stopped talking — only 
the voices grew weaker — each night meant a 
battle with death. I used to stand over them and 
say, " Dearies, you must not leave your Mamusia — 
you must get well- -your father must have his 
boys!" 

From half -past three until five it was impossible 
to count the pulse. I could only pour a few drops 
of black coffee into the little mouths so hideously 
disfigured by typhus sores. Near this dreadful 
disease lay my little daughter, — nervous, hardly 
speaking at all. She was not the same child. We 
spoke together of "Tatus" when I had time. She 
had escaped so far, but, breathing the same air 



122 THe Occupation 

with them, how could she escape the typhus, 
despite all my care in disinfecting. 

The Great Man went and I was heartily grateful, 
for his atmosphere of inexorable power to crush 
us was almost too much to bear. It was as if a 
black cloud had been cleared from our horizon; 
though we still felt the effect of the orders given 
to the army, still we did not have to look at him 
or serve him with coffee. During the few days 
he was under my roof, many delicate dishes had 
appeared upon my table, but no one had asked 
me if I had the necessary food to give my child- 
ren. The Great Man was served from a "Feld 
Kuche" with the more substantial dishes, and I 
had to provide an entree or two. One day the 
food in the " Feld Kuche " went sour, and I had 
to manage the whole meal. 

No wonder I was glad that the "Colossus" 
went — whenever I looked at him I seemed to 
hear bones being cracked and ground into 
powder. No tiny detail, nothing which could 
make the townspeople suffer was too insignificant 
to be turned into an order and signed by the 
Great Man. In fact, he brought so much "Kultur" 



THe Occupation 123 

into Poland that the Poles were almost extermin- 
ated by it. We were not the only ones who felt 
the weight of his fist. The German soldiers were 
treated with extreme severity, though given the 
greatest license to harm and fill the unfortunate 
townspeople with fear. It did no good to com- 
plain of any outrage — for outrage was ordered 
and encouraged and rewarded. The soldiers 
were forbidden to show sympathy. One curious 
thing — the soldiers had all sorts of articles 
stamped with the Great Man's picture — I asked 
one of the orderlies if he felt it was quite the thing 
to use a handkerchief so decorated! The man told 
me " perhaps not," but that he thoroughly agreed 
with his suspenders! Bright red, these were, 
bearing a tiny picture of the Great Man, and, of 
course "Gott strafe England" embroidered upon 
them in flowing German script. That legend 
seemed to grow upon everything the soldiers 
used. 

On the last day that the Great Man was with 
us, another Great Personage was also there — a fat, 
beery scion of royalty, neither clever nor interest- 
ing. The change in this young man's appearance 



124 The Occupation 

was a distinct shock. As a girl I had often seen 
him in Berlin with his father or with some of his 
brothers or others of the family and at that time 
his extreme popularity (he was very much the 
people's favourite) seemed easily explained by 
his good looks and his charming manners. I 
know these made, from a distance, a greatly 
favourable impression upon me. And now — 
such a change! Was it due to "Kultur " ? 

The gruff but kind Captain also received the 
order for Augustowo; night and day there were 
the sounds of battle; the immediate needs and 
misery were too great to pay much attention. 
The last day those officers were in the house 
I went one more step on the via dolorosa. It 
was Sunday morning; the prisoners had been 
removed from the Roman Catholic Church. 
There were services going on, so the townspeople 
had for the first time appeared upon the streets. 
A foolish, talkative little woman, who had remained 
with her husband and little daughter, came to see 
me on her way from early mass. I was dreading 
to leave the children long enough to serve coffee 
to the officers, so I asked this woman to sit with the 



THe Occupation. 125 

children while I had to leave the room. When 
opening the door she said to me: 

"They say the Russians are in Marjampol — 
and the Russian chief of police never left — he is 
here " 

I told her sharply to be still. She answered the 
Germans did not understand Polish. When I went 
into the next room, right near the door the medical 
student "doctor" was sitting. He always hung 
about. I really paid no attention to what the 
woman had said, but after having served coffee 
I had barely returned to the children when my 
cook burst in calling out jubilantly the same piece 
of news. She was also told to hush (the doctor still 
sat near the door reading), but as if two of them 
were not enough, the nurse girl, Stephania, also 
came in telling instantly the same story with more 
details; and the three, in spite of all I could do, 
would discuss it. 

At dinner-time, two o'clock, the officers had 
finished eating and drinking, — they were about to 
drink black coffee — when an orderly called the 
Captain. In a few moments he returned, looking 
very grave, and told me there was somebody to see 



126 THe Occupation 

me from the secret police; he advised perfect 
frankness. I almost died of fright, seeing for- 
tresses and dungeons of all sorts looming up before 
my eyes! 

A horrid, degenerate-looking man — this secret 
agent — who instantly told me the police knew I 
was a Russian sympathizer, and that I had a 
centre of information in my house, that I fed the 
prisoners, and rebuked the German soldiers for 
carrying out the orders issued to the army; that 
I incited the public to resistance, and was to be 
removed as a menace to the army, to Germany; 
that he was sent to fetch me. I told him that what 
he said was mostly untrue, and the rest misrepre- 
sented; that the people in the town naturally 
looked up to and trusted me; I could not help their 
coming, — there was little time I gave to anybody. 
I had given bread to the captured Russian soldiers, 
but when the Russians were here, the captive 
Germans had also received help from me. 

The secret agent said, well, I had "something 
to my credit," immediately giving in detail the 
conversation of those women; but I told him that 
was the gossip of the town. " So much the worse " 



THe Occupation 127 

— it did no good to tell him I did not allow them to 
talk — the order had gone out. I was to be re- 
moved ! No use to tell him of the children either ; 
that they were at the point of death. He simply- 
said that this did not interest the Government; 
only the fact that I was hostile, and arousing the 
sympathy of the people at this moment. I heard 
the Captain clanking heavily about in the next 
room, and, in my distress, called to him. Big, 
burly, with a look of contempt at the "Agent" in 
his civilian clothes, the Captain came in. 

When I had told him the secret police wished to 
take me to a fortress, and the reasons, how my 
children were to die, as they surely would without 
my care, he flew into a terrible rage, and ordered 
the man out, saying he gave his word for me, that 
as a man and an officer he would permit no 
such thing. With that, he took hold of the Agent 
marching him into the room where my boys 
lay. 

"There, — look! And go tell the secret police 
what you have seen." 

The man disappeared with alacrity; no more 
was heard of him! 



128 THe Occupation 

The Captain stood leaning on my boy's bed, 
shaking his head. 

"It is such nonsense makes us so hated, — just 
as in Belgium! But — I told you not to show 
your sympathy." 

I reached out my hand. 

"Captain, there may be typhus germs on my 
hand, but there are also the thanks and blessing 
of a mother whose life you have saved!" 

Somehow things took a different colour after 
that terrible experience. I knew then that there 
were still worse things than I had to endure. The 
Captain told me he would get the Ober-Kommando 
to occupy my house — as someone must — and his 
regiment was leaving the next morning. 

The Russians had made an advance and excite- 
ment prevailed. Hope sprang up once more. 

That night Wladek took a terrible turn. Two 
ringers were paining him, typhus sores, — and no 
doctor! I used everything to allay the fever, but 
the crisis was near. 

The Captain with his men left before dawn. 
When they went, the medical student came to say 
good-bye — in Polish! I told him I hoped he was 



THe Occupation I29 

satisfied with his noble work! Four officers 
from the Ober-Kommando took up quarters with 
us. I told them there was no more food. I had 
only macaroni, zwieback, and a few jars of straw- 
berry and raspberry preserves — no potatoes, and 
about a half-pound of coffee and tea. 

The children were so near death that day that I 
went from one to the other, changing compresses, 
wetting the lips with weak tea (made of melted 
snow water — the wells were not possible), imploring 
them not to leave me. One of the new officers 
told me there was a celebrated doctor in Suwalki 
that day. Did I not wish to see him? How I 
blessed the man for his thought. In a short time 
the doctor came. Of course he only looked at the 
children when he said: 

"Typhus, — and one near the crisis," that very 
soon the finger would have to be operated upon, 
also that the military could not be quartered in the 
house. I would at least be alone. The nurse, 
Stephania, had never come back after the secret 
police got after her, so that day I called Jacob's 
daughter, Manya, into service in the sick room. 

When the officers had gone I found all our stores 



130 THe Occupation 

of wood had been burned ; coal had long since been 
out of question. It was cold in that great empty 
place, filled no longer with the memory of happy 
days. The night got over somehow, but in the 
morning it was evident that Wladek's finger must 
be operated upon. His hand was black, his arm 
swollen. I sent a note to the Commandant asking 
for a doctor, adding that a few hours' delay would 
mean death! The cook brought a reply saying 
that a doctor would be sent. I prepared a table 
with everything ready to operate, and waited . . . 
until nine o'clock in the evening. I meant to 
operate myself if the doctor did not come. When 
the doctor did come I was face to face with the 
living example of " SchrecklichkeitI" He said: 

"Good-evening. My fee is thirty marks! 
Gold!" 

I told him it was difficult to give him so much, 
the contribution of the town had fallen so heavily 
upon me. He simply said that, without the gold, 
he would not operate, so my boy's finger had to 
wait while the money was fetched. After the fee 
had been pocketed, I gave him an apron, and he 
went in to look at the children, saying immediately 



THe Occupation 131 

he thought both would die. He asked me what I 
had done, said it was right, and walked back to the 
operating table. I carried Wladek out, — with no 
difficulty for he was like a shadow. Hardly was I 
seated when with a flourish of the surgical scissors, 
— I shall never forget it — the surgeon grabbed hold 
of Wladek's finger, and, without even disinfecting 
it, or using the ether, which stood on the table, 
snipped it off like a bit of old cloth. The blood and 
matter spurted all over me — Wladek screamed, 
and then was still. The doctor got up, saying that 
I would know how to disinfect and bandage the 
wound. I begged him to stop and help me. 
Replying only, "I have no time," he walked out, 
leaving me alone with my unconscious boy. It 
was very difficult to manage the cruelly used finger, 
and to hold the child at the same time. I could not 
feel his heart beat. Stas, in the other room, was 
crying, — and neither the cook nor Manya came. 

The hand was finally bandaged and a compress 
laid on to keep it moist. After making every effort, 
I finally managed to rouse him, so that the poor 
little fellow began to moan. On carrying him back 
to bed, I found his brother lying fainting on the 



132 THe Occupation 

floor! The wonderful sympathy between the 
twins had caused Stas, even in delirium of fever, 
to wish to go to his brother's aid, and I had two 
unconscious, still boys. The room was freezing 
cold! 

After they were once more in bed covered with 
everything to be found, I threw myself down in the 
big chair to watch them. Catching a glimpse of 
the mirror, I wondered who that wild, white, 
strange-looking woman was — after a time recog- 
nizing myself ! Then, by a mighty effort of the 
will I drew back from the black pit of despair, 
saying over and over again, "I will call upon God, 
— and the Lord shall save me!" until I could once 
more get up and go about preparing things for the 
night. That night when it was to be decided life or 
death for Wladek! How still it was — I was glad 
when the boys simultaneously began to rave. I at 
least knew then they were alive! The big guns 
sounded far off. I was quite alone. The cook 
was not in the kitchen — Manya did not come when 
I rang, nor did Jacob. 

A long time afterward my cook came. She had 
difficulty in controlling herself, but finally made 



THe Occupation 133 

me understand. The doctor had taken Manya — 
not yet seventeen! God help her! 

Jacob came in looking like a hurt animal. He 
had been struck in the mouth by the doctor. The 
blood dripped on his hands together with his tears. 
Manya was his pride, his little girl. She knew how 
to read — he began to tell me little stories of her 
childhood, "before my lady was in Poland!" 

I gave him a double dose of veronal, washing 
his wounded nose and mouth, and promising we 
should get Manya back tomorrow. 

"Tomorrow!" with a cry like an animal. 
Quieting down once more, he crawled into a corner 
by the stove, instantly sleeping, — worn out. An 
example of the freedom and happiness the Kultur 
trager had brought to us in Poland ! 

That night Wladek fell asleep. I feared to 
breathe — suddenly he grew icy cold. I put hot 
cloths on him, gave him spoonfuls of black coffee. 
Tried to count the pulse — so faint — wildly calling 
on God to save him ! The dear eyes opened. He 
tried to say " Mamusia" and slept! Saved! 
The twenty-first day since he last knew his mother. 
I laid my head on his bed, weeping until there were 



134 THe Occupation 

no more tears left, and also slept — to be wakened 
by a cry from Stas who was still talking, moving 
head and hands as if automatically. A curious 
feeling came over me. I did not wish to move ; as 
in a dream — everything was so far off; the room 
grew very warm — like summer. 



CHAPTER XVII 
typhus! 

When the cook came at five o'clock to sit with 
the children while I rested, she found me for the 
first time in all those days not dressed in my uni- 
form, but wearing a thin kimono, and saying how 
warm it was. She was frightened. It was so diffi- 
cult for me to speak. My tongue would not obey 
me, but I made her understand that Wladek was 
better — saved — and that for Stas the crisis would 
likely come that night. The poor creature began 
to cry, saying, "Oh, my lady, you also are ill with 
the fever!" 

That I could not agree to. There was no time 

for me to be ill. We spoke of the need of fuel. A 

Jew had some wood and wanted fifty roubles for it. 

Another had a few potatoes. These things were 

sorely needed. But no milk! For Wladek it was 

so absolutely necessary. There was still a ten- 

135 



136 TypKus ! 

pound package of sugar. Wladek was conscious, 
too weak to speak, pitiful beyond measure. I 
tried to force myself to have energy enough to 
dress his hand, — succeeding after a terrible effort. 
Stas was calling out, talking wildly as usual. For 
my little daughter the problem of food faced me. 
What to give her! She was always difficult to 
please with food — and now would hardly touch our 
fare. 

The day wore away. Late in the afternoon the 
doctor came. I had quite forgotten about Manya. 

"You have also the typhus!" 

In a voice that seemed to belong to some one 
else, I told him, "No — I have no time for the 
typhus, the children would die if I gave up," and 
refused to go to bed. 

That night the fever laid its hand heavily upon 
me, and I went to bed. My cook told me after- 
wards how I sang what she called "church music" 
till she thought the end was near — that already 
the angels were there! 

Seemingly a hundred years after, in reality a 
few hours, it was borne in upon my consciousness 
by a pure mother instinct undoubtedly, that some 



Typhus ! 137 

one was crying. I opened my eyes to see the cook 
bending over Stas, crying, "if my lady would only 
wake up, and tell me what to do!" 

I forced my voice back from the far-away 
country, telling her to put Stas beside me, com- 
presses also, that I could attend him, and, with 
God's help, I did; after awhile getting to my feet, 
keeping always a tight hold of my senses, lest they 
wander. The very overpowering anxiety for my 
children cast the fever off! 

Stas lived through the crisis that night, just as 
Wladek had done. I sat in the big chair between 
the little cribs, telling the cook what to do. 

For two days it was difficult to drag about. It 
was as if I had never rested or sat down in my life. 

The second day when the doctor came, there 
suddenly flashed across my mind the story of 
Manya, and I asked him where she was. He told 
me it was "not my affair." Wladek's second 
finger had to have an operation, but knowing the 
tender methods of the doctor, I bathed it in ether 
myself. 

Wladek was hungry, — like a wolf. I gave him 
the juice of my strawberry preserves. The hunger 



138 TVpHus ! 

of the boys grew so alarmingly, and I had only the 
tea, toast, and preserves, not a diet for typhus 
patients. The Jew had sold his potatoes to some 
one else. 

Four days after Manya's disappearance, news 
was brought to me that she was in the house of an 
old Jewess, a cigarette maker. Leaving the cook 
with the children, and hardly able to drag myself 
along, I went with Jacob to find his daughter. 
How strange it was in the streets, the soldiers were 
everywhere, staring curiously at us. Impossibly 
dirty, it bore no resemblance to the town I had 
known; bits of furniture were standing about, 
all sorts of things spilled over the streets. 

After many difficulties, we finally found the 
place, and paying no attention to the soldiers 
about, pushed our way into the room where Manya 
was, . . . what had been Manya. When she, poor 
creature, saw us, she threw herself on the floor, 
sobbing; springing up when I knelt beside her. 
An officer came in to ask our business with the 
girl. 

"She is my maid — stolen! This is her father. 
I have come to take her home. " 



TypKvis ! 139 

"I am very sorry, but you are not allowed to 
take her, she belongs to the soldiers. " 

"Don't you see Herr Offizier, the girl is dying?" 

" 111 she is, and shall have the best of care. We 
have a doctor to attend just such cases, " and I had 
to leave her! Jacob's face was without expression, 
he seemed to have lost the power to think or feel, — 
his little girl 

Not long after that, when things were at their 
very worst in the matter of food, an officer walked 
into the room where I was busy with the children, 
a doctor of the sanitary service, of Polish blood! 
Oh! how glad I was to see him, and how kind he 
was examining into all the details, not only of the 
children's health, but how we lived, I also told 
him of the brutal doctor. That afternoon this 
good doctor, Sanitats Rat, sent me a loaf of bread 
and four eggs! Nothing I have ever seen, no 
jewels, were ever so precious in my eyes as that 
white bread and eggs, for in the town the food had 
all been taken, and there was none to buy! 

About this time, the terrible contribution was 
laid on Suwalki in answer to Memel, which the 
Russians had taken. Two hundred thousand 



140 Typh 



us: 



marks to be raised by those poor people! The 
guns were in front of the church. The town was 
to be blown into the air unless this great sum was 
paid by a certain day. I saw how they took the 
Russian priest and the Jewish rabbi (one of the 
Roman Catholic priests had long since been taken) 
to keep as hostages, yanking them along the street 
by a rope. The soldiers were amusing themselves. 

In and out of the houses those levying officers 
went, taking the very blood, one might say, from 
the people. I was told after my hunt for Manya, 
to keep at home. Jacob had disappeared, — 
carried off to dig in the trenches. Those were 
fearsome times! After paying my large share of 
the contribution, also giving up my jewels, it 
seemed as if when food would be there to purchase, 
at the existing prices, I should soon be without 
money. The good doctor had tried to get help 
for me. There were a number of the Russian 
Red Cross Sisters captured with the army and held 
in Suwalki, but they were not allowed to come; 
though for six weeks I had been nursing my boys, 
and struggling with the fever myself. 

I complained about Manya, and was promised 



TypKus ! 141 

that the case should be taken up, "made an 
example of. " So it was! The old Jewess, though 
quite innocent in the matter, was arrested, kept 
five days on bread and water (what the rest of the 
town lived on, too!) and made to pay a fine of 
three hundred marks ! How the case was made out 
was difficult to imagine. When I told them the 
old Jewess had done nothing, that she was simply 
turned out of her own home, I was told, that the 
doctor could not be even questioned, he belonged 
to the military, but that a Jew could always be 
punished I 



CHAPTER XVIII 

THE CHILDREN RECOVER 

My boys grew slowly better, through the period 
where they continually slept, on to the point 
where they cried with hunger. Sometimes I was 
able to buy a little food — if there was any in the 
town my cook was sure to find it. I doled the 
toasted bread and preserves out with a miserly 
hand. Our sugar was gone, coffee also, but I still 
had tea. 

We were deserted. No one came near us, except 

the good doctor. He came, and so I kept in touch 

with the world. Also there was the never ceasing 

panorama before my windows. The automobiles 

were stationed there. Many a time they were 

already for flight, the Russians making an advance, 

only to be pushed back. We, in the town, never 

gave up hope. 

Great numbers of prisoners were kept in Suwalki, 
142 



THe CHildren. Recover 143 

starving to death! The wounded were crowded 
together without comfort or cleanliness, and the 
townspeople "allowed" to feed them. They who 
had nothing themselves! 

I was afraid to help openly for a time, but my 
cook carried pails of soup (macaroni) to the hospi- 
tal, where the wounded lay upon the floor, without 
straw in the intense cold. One day she told me 
something was happening. The prisoners' hospital 
was being cleaned, beds put in, and even clean 
linen for the men. Just after she told me this the 
doctor came, our kind friend. I asked him why 
the sudden change, and heard to my delight that 
attaches from the neutral countries were to make a 
visit. In some way it had leaked out how the 
prisoners were being treated, and an investigation 
was to be made. I immediately wrote a petition 
that I should be allowed to see the American 
attache, thinking in this way to get word to my 
husband, letting him know we were still alive. 
The interview was promised me on the condition 
that I would speak only of the question of com- 
munication with my husband and not a word 
about what I had seen in Suwalki. 



144 XHe Children. Recover 

Such a cleaning there was those three days 
we were expecting the important visitors. The 
prisoners were fed. Those in the hospital got 
cocoa, very satisfying to an empty stomach! 

I was unquiet over Wanda, seeing her wilt be- 
fore my eyes like a little flower, but the prospect 
of getting some word to my husband, made me 
feel brighter than usual. 

The attaches came, saw what ideal conditions 
prevailed in Suwalki (for at least three days!) and 
went! I was not permitted to see the American 
attache, and was only told it was not considered 
expedient that I should. 

That night Wanda developed the typhus, and 
for the second time during my captivity I cried 
until there were no more tears left. Again, the old 
miserable story to go through with, the watching 
by night and by day. Wanda had quite a different 
form of the fever. After a few hours of the sing- 
song delirious talking, she grew silent, and never 
spoke nor opened her eyes, unless I made her, for 
fourteen days. The only way I knew she lived, 
by looking at her, was by the faint red patches on 
her cheeks. The crisis past, she recovered more 



THe CKildren Recover 145 

rapidly than her brothers. Also there was milk to 
be had! I was able to get two quarts a day, but 
it cost one rouble. A Jew somehow had got two 
cows. The precious fluid was taken away from 
my cook by soldiers so many times, even though 
she made them understand it was for typhus 
patients, that I had to get a special permit to 
carry milk unmolested through the streets. Once 
my cook found a chicken ! It also was taken from 
her. She cried and called down such vengeance 
upon the thieves, the soldiers of the army of 
occupation, that I told her she would be shot if 
they understood what she said. Not long after a 
Jew brought me five chickens. Five roubles 
apiece ! If I could keep them they meant eggs for 
the children. So I had them shut up in what had 
been our beautiful library. They roosted on the 
pretty old shelves, clawed over the books, and I 
did not care or have any feeling about it. Those 
things were finished, passed out of my life. 

After that we were able to buy more food. 
Potatoes were to be had at a ruinous price, and 
also wood. There came a day when Wladek got 
up out of bed. Grown so tall, with legs like a pencil, 



146 THe CHildren. Recover 

he bore no resemblance to my bonny boy. And 
hungry! The toast was finished, but Wladek 
could eat mashed potatoes. How he begged for all 
sorts of things. 

A few days after his twin brother also rose from 
the dead, and because nothing could come singly, 
something happened! It was Holy Week. A 
tremendous battle was on, the big guns almost 
cracked the windows, we could also hear the 
machine guns. In the midst of the din 1 was 
rejoicing over my sons, that they had taken a step ; 
when several people walked into the room — 
Russians, the first I had seen to speak to. A 
doctor and three sisters, with four German soldiers. 
How pleasant it was to see some one not a German ! 
The doctor, a splendid man, but with his misery 
stamped upon his face, told me he had been sent 
to open a "typhus hospital" in my house! The 
disease was all over the town, and now it was to be 
centred under my roof. I asked him what I should 
do. The Germans had told him I was to provide 
beds, etc! The German soldiers grew impatient 
that we only talked and did nothing, and began to 
threaten. I gave them cigarettes, which I had had 



THe CHildren Recover 147 

for the Russian soldiers, and asked them to leave 
us alone for a while. 

The doctor suggested as my children were 
better to offer the lower floor as a military hospital, 
saying I did not wish the civilians so near, they 
would bring more diseases. He advised me to 
beg that the Russian hospital be there, giving as 
reason that I belonged to the Red Cross and would 
like to work in the hospital, but could not go far. 
So we decided. 

The doctor told me a iittle of his life. They 
would have also starved, only a man who had a 
restaurant begged to feed the doctor and three 
nurses. At least they had some sort of a dinner 
every day ; but what indignities they suffered upon 
the street! Our conversation was not a long one, 
for the soldiers finished their cigarettes and came 
pounding across the floor. One laid his hand on 
the doctor's shoulders, and turned him rudely 
about. " Come then. See what you dirty Russians 
have done," was the soldier's mode of address, 
leading the way to the unused part of our house. 

The next morning a party of prisoners were 
sent to clean. Six starving human beings! I told 



148 THe Children Recover 

my cook to make soup with a few of our precious 
potatoes and much macaroni — useless for the 
children, so heavy and rubbery it was! Taking a 
lot of cigarettes I went to interview the soldiers on 
guard. The Russians came about me when they 
saw "a Sister," but were driven — not gently — 
back to work. 

I asked the soldier, giving him at the same time a 
handful of cigarettes, if I were permitted to give 
the prisoners something to eat? He agreed readily 
enough, saying he saw no reason why the mert 
should be kept without food, but he could only 
allow them five minutes to eat, as they were so 
slow. How could they be anything else so long 
without food! 

I told the prisoners they should have hot soup; 
the look in their eyes when they heard this ! While 
the soup was cooking I wrote my petition that the 
military hospital be in my house, giving as grounds 
my fear that the civilian population would bring 
not only typhus with them; begging to be allowed 
to help ! How long that soup took to cook ! I had 
a picture before my eyes of those men waiting. 

The children already tried to amuse themselves, 



TKe CHildren Recover 149 

sitting propped up with cushions, in the deep 
windows, watching the streams of soldiers, wagons, 
guns, and wounded. The battle was terrific. A 
hope sprang up that the Russians would be in for 
Easter. 

Begging the children to stop alone just one 
moment while the cook carried the pot of soup to 
the Russian soldiers, I went down with her, to 
talk to the German on guard. 

The cook had a trite reception "Hinaus!" 
(Get out !) The man was polite enough to me, and 
called the Russians. I had fetched four dishes and 
ladled out a portion for each, begging them to eat 
slowly. One of them spoke softly to me in English ; 
he had been in America! I told him they were to 
eat slowly and sit on the floor to rest themselves, 
giving them cigarettes and a box of matches, and 
turned my attention to the German. At first he 
only wished to speak of the dirtiness of the prison- 
ers; when I asked "if they were given facilities to 
be clean. " He said, "No, but if they wished to be 
clean they could be." A difficult matter without 
soap or water, comb or brush! Clothes and linen 
worn night and day since they were taken captive ! 



15° THe Children Recover 

Soon the man got away from the favourite topic 
of conversation because I asked him if he had a 
family. He had in Memel — and how pathetic he 
was on the subject, when speaking of his wife alone 
there and his small children, but he could not see 
the point when I told him he should show con- 
sideration and help the unfortunate prisoners. For 
himself and the Germans, he was very sorry; but 
for the Russians he had only a curse or a kick. He 
grew so excited talking to me, defending the policy 
of " f rightfulness " that the Russian prisoners had 
ample time to finish and smoke the cigarettes. 
They had all eaten too much for starving men. 
The copper was empty — I had thought they would 
carry home half in their little tin pails. The 
soldier who spoke English told me it was the first 
warm food he had eaten since December when he 
was taken prisoner at the battle of Warsaw — since 
then not even hot tea ! Sometimes they got chunks 
of black bread. 

We did not get the typhus hospital, but Saturday 
of Holy Week I was given permission to feed two 
parties of prisoners daily, a party consisting of 
twenty-one men. I did not see how it was to be 



XHe CKildren Recover 151 

done, but gladly took the permission. As a Sister, 
I was allowed to help the men, if they were brought 
to me. Near our house a number of prisoners were 
to be employed, also cleaning the streets. 

Easter was truly a rising from the dead. Wanda 
girl got up on her feet, white and weak, but the 
worst was past, and I could once more count one, 
two, three little heads. We had hoped the Rus- 
sians would be back for Easter, but instead great 
reinforcements arrived for the Germans. 

The typhus signs protected me from the military, 
but the rest of the town was overrun. 

On Easter afternoon I had two visitors, one of 
our priests, and a German General who had been 
quartered in my house. The General said it was 
very tiresome in Suwalki so he thought he would 
come to see how we were getting along, if the 
quarantine was soon to be raised so the good 
quarters could once more be occupied. The Polish 
priest and German General spoke of my affairs 
together, and as a result of my visitors' conversa- 
tion I wrote my first petition to be allowed to leave 
Suwalki. With every day life grew more difficult 
for me. The children were ravenous, and needed 



152 THe CKildren Recover 

delicate, nourishing food, not only potatoes and 
milk, of which there was not always two quarts, 
though paid for. Black bread cost enormously, 
but occasionally was to be had, the Jews demand- 
ing as much as three roubles a loaf! This bread 
could not be given to typhus patients, as much as 
the children begged for it. Once I saw a soldier 
on the street eating an orange — biting into it as 
if an orange was quite ordinary fare in Suwalki 
— I would have given anything under the sun to 
get that orange for the children, but had to be glad 
they were warm and had milk and potatoes. 
Every day there was the excitement of feeding the 
two parties of prisoners; once there was nothing 
but soup made of meal, and a very old and dry 
ham bone ! To make so much soup with one small 
bone! The prisoners found it good, hot at least. 
The Jews knew I was feeding prisoners and so 
brought anything they could get to me, knowing 
they would be paid — the Germans taking things 
without the ceremony of paying! 



CHAPTER XIX 

THE PRISONERS 

From this time I was nearer to the life of the 
town. Every moment was occupied or I should 
have gone mad! I knew my husband must have 
been outside, beyond the trenches, for the Russians 
were only five and a half miles away. They held 
Sejny and Kalvarya. 

A German soldier came into the kitchen one day. 

My cook, not understanding what he wanted, 

begged me to speak with him. He wished to sit 

awhile and drink tea. I told him he might have 

tea if he had it himself; we would give him hot 

water. He wished to talk to some one, and showed 

me pictures of wife and child. How full of desire 

for sympathy they always were, but never had 

any to spare for other people! This soldier told 

me that in two hours time he was going to the 

trenches to pump fire on the Russians; told how 

153 



154 Trie Prisoners 

he could make the liquid fire spring sixty-five feet ! 
How it burned all it touched to cinders, spreading 
on all sides. I had to listen, fascinated by the horror 
of it! 

The Russians were making tremendous efforts 
to re-enter Suwalki, the Germans just as great 
ones to keep them out, for it was the gateway to 
East Prussia. That word! I tried not to hate 
anything, but even to hear East Prussia mentioned 
aroused something akin to that feeling in me. 
East Prussia was their slogan, the stick to beat the 
Poles with, to stamp them into the earth! Every 
woman outraged, if she were not fortunate enough 
to take her own life, was caged up "for the soldiers." 
Furniture was carted daily to East Prussia, the 
woods were cut down, every agricultural imple- 
ment taken! All for the same reason; what a 
maw it is that East Prussia ! All Poland was to be 
emptied and carted away, beaten into the bargain, 
and made to pay such terrible contributions ! 

The peasants' grain was taken when the Ger- 
mans first came, no seed grain nor potatoes left, 
and now the Commandant notified all who had 
ground, to cultivate it, and that seed grain could 



THe Prisoners 155 

be had for twenty-five marks a measure. The use 
of a horse two marks a day — no matter to whom 
the horse belonged! After the ground was sown 
all horses were to be removed by the military. 
Any one not buying grain and industriously culti- 
vating the land was to be evicted, the military 
taking possession. Poor people! Those who could 
scrape the money together somehow, did ; but there 
were many driven away from their bits of ground, 
the thing they tied to. And thus were forced to 
join the fast increasing beggar population. The 
others patiently bought back their own grain, 
labouring unceasingly with the fear of being driven 
away ever before their eyes. 

A soup kitchen was opened by our committee, 
ostensibly. True, the town had to get all food 
somehow; but the law did not lie in our hands. 
Also from there the food for the wounded was 
taken, — men with terrible wounds, or typhus, 
fed on pea soup! Such peas, which if they were 
cooked a month, were still like little glass marbles 
rolling about. 

One day I had a visitor. Some one whose face 
was familiar — a Pole and a nobleman. An ac- 



156 THe Prisoners 

quaintance, one of the civil engineers belonging 
to my husband's department. He had been 
caught with three other Poles — they were with 
the retreating army — having left Suwalki too 
late. His horses naturally were taken, boxes and 
everything in the wagon; and all this time he had 
been kept in a cellar on occasional chunks of bread. 
No wonder he was changed beyond recognition. 
He said he was so anxious about us he had to come 
to enquire, though not good for me. He was 
"suspected" and harried continually, — the man 
looked on the verge of insanity. The same man 
who fed the Russian doctor and sisters was 
feeding him. I insisted on giving him money and 
what cigarettes still remained, — he was so pitiful — 
an example of what the Prussians' idea of "free" 
Poland is! 

Not long after this I had another visitor, Pan 
W., a man who stood out before the war as a very 
rich Pole, a nobleman, who because he was 
deformed thought he might remain without 
question on his estates, two very large modern 
ones near Suwalki. His wife and two daughters 
were in Warsaw, his two young sons, fourteen and 



THe Prisoners 157 

fifteen, with him. Pan W. found his deformity 
did not protect him; for, when the Kultur trager 
came, the}?- instantly accused him of having 
telephonic communication with the Russians and 
bound the unfortunate man in his own cellar 
together with his young sons. The military occu- 
pied the palace, taking everything out of it for 
East Prussia. All stock, farm implements, auto- 
mobiles, all had disappeared, when six weeks 
afterwards Pan W. and his sons were released 
from the cellar. He was asked by the commanding 
officer which he preferred, "German or Russian 
rule?" Pan W. replied, not daring to answer 
frankly, that "the Russians had never imprisoned 
him!" For this answer he was given another 
month in the cellar! Then they were taken out 
and driven into Suwalki like animals, literally 
without a shirt to their backs. This treatment for 
a man, a nobleman universally respected, a man 
who had lived a luxurious life before the war. I 
found some of my husband's shirts, collars, and ties 
for this poor victim — but had no clothes for him. 
How glad he was. We drank tea together. I 
begged him to share our food daily. He could not 



158 THe Prisoners 

trust himself to speak of his wife and daughters, 
but told me of his sons. One had always been very- 
delicate and spent the winters in Switzerland! 
Now without food except chunks of bread occa- 
sionally, and water; after being kept in a dark 
cellar so many weeks ! The two boys were sent to 
work on a new railroad the Germans were com- 
pleting. His voice rings in my ears, the pity of it ; 
he told me of his hope that they would be paid 
something. He refused to take meals he could not 
pay for at the restaurant where many officers ate. 
He had asked the commandant to give him some 
money, a slight return for the enormous amount of 
stuff taken from his estate, amounting to much over 
a hundred thousand roubles. He had not even a 
paper to show those things had been taken. After 
great efforts a paper was given him payable by 
the Russian Government, for automobiles, farm 
machinery, etc., and twenty marks from the Ger- 
mans {!) with a paper to sign freeing the Germans 
from further payment or responsibility, being told 
if he did not sign he would not get the twenty 
marks — but it would make no difference to the 
result ! 



THe Prisoners 159 

Poor man! It was a difficult position, but the 
sounds of battle were near that day, giving him 
courage. Much the same thing had happened to a 
priest from an outlying village, one of the first in 
the path of the enemy. When they came on, the 
officer in command told the priest to feed his men 
and horses ; that they would pay their way because 
the village was a poor one. The officer knew the 
peasants had brought their grains and fodder to 
the priest for safety (those Germans knew every- 
thing). The priest treated the officers most 
courteously, let them feed the horses with delight, 
thinking of the money for his poor parishioners; 
but, when the soldiers dug up the silver altar 
vessels and a jewelled cross, he protested. The 
commanding officer did not stop his men, but 
instead, gave the priest a paper to sign, — payment 
in full — four marks! Refusing to sign, the priest 
was driven in front of the soldiers to Suwalki, 
tried for resisting and insulting the military, and 
thrown into prison. Into a room with many 
others, men and women, mostly Jews! There were 
too many to lie down. In filth and horror they 
lived three weeks, two of the women giving birth 



160 THe Prisoners 

to children. Finally, the prison was put in order, 
the priest getting a cell with two other men, one 
of whom went mad and took his life. After that the 
priest was released, and allowed to go to the church 
house to live. I saw him once, and shall not 
readily forget his martyred face. He had grown 
to be like a saint of old. More than one priest 
grew a halo, they were so persecuted. 

One day a German priest came walking into 
our rooms — florid, too well-fed — he was a contrast 
to the Polish priests. Having seen the children 
about — they had even been in the garden by this 
time — he decided to come to make acquaintance 
with their mother, whom he said he had also seen 
upon the street feeding the prisoners, giving me to 
understand in his opinion my energies were mis- 
directed. He also asked me why I wore the Rus- 
sian Red Cross uniform. I told him for three 
reasons. First that I was a member of the Red 
Cross; second, it protected me from the German 
soldiers who made a practice of insulting every 
woman; third, I had been ordered to wear it, as 
the Germans found me in uniform. He said he 
would get permission for me to wear "civil" 



THe Prisoners 161 

clothing. I thanked him saying it was better, 
that I was more comfortable in my sister's dress, 
and I felt it was a comfort to the prisoners. This 
German priest (how sorry I am not to give his 
name — it so exactly expresses the man! But even 
he eventually helped me — so I dare not be ungrate- 
ful!) made himself at home in our house. The 
children loathed him and were dreadfully naughty 
whenever he showed his face. 

I knew he felt incensed at the unfriendly attitude 
of my little, still weak babies. My cook, too, had 
a severe strain put upon her religion, for, crossing 
herself violently, she would say she wished the 
father would not favour us with so much of his 
company, — and she never left me alone. After 
a while, this priest even stopped to meals — I could 
do nothing — he even followed me about when I 
was bathing the children and putting them to bed. 
In fact, he frightened me. more than any other of 
the Germans. Speaking Polish he asked me about 
everybody and everything. One day telling me 
because he was refused something by our priest 
(something which was of course not there to give), 

he intended moving away from the church house, 
ii 



162 The Prisoners 

and having it filled with common soldiers. In 
order to do this he took for his services the Russian 
church which had to have the filth dug out of it 
by the Russian prisoners. 

Was it any wonder the town was full of sickness? 
Hunger and filth went hand in hand. When the 
prisoners were working in the church after a long, 
hard morning, driven by blows, kicked on the 
slightest provocation, as a part of the system, they 
were led out to sit in front of the church for a noon 
pause. I say advisedly "noon pause." Dinner- 
time it was not — for they were given no food! 
Dropping with fatigue, unhappy, dumb with 
misery! The townspeople were not allowed near 
them. Why, only the peculiar mental processes 
of the Prussian torturer knew! I could see them 
from the windows in the right wing of my house 
and to them carried food. I was using my money 
at a tremendous rate, assured that God would 
send more when the need came. The look of those 
men is burned, seared in, upon my mind. That 
sound of their voices when they saw us coming, 
for there was no one else but me to help my cook 
carry the pot of soup ; then she left to take care of 



THe Prisoners 163 

the children, while I doled out whatever there was 
to those reaching, trembling hands. I, too, had 
grown to take the attitude of the people, nothing 
could melt their captors. It felt like trying to stay 
death and damnation, — inexorable. All I could 
do was to feed as many as possible. But now, here 
in America, the question often occurs to me, what 
will happen when the inevitable day of reckoning 
comes to those who gave such orders, who caused 
such fiendish suffering to come upon those poor, 
honest, simple-hearted men? Just peasant boys — 
taken into the army of their own country. Shall 
they not stretch out trembling hands for mercy — 

not finding it — lost 

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatso- 
ever a man soweth, that shall he also reap!" 
Why take thought over the outcome? 



CHAPTER XX 

THE CONDITIONS AMONG THE MILITARY PRISONERS 

My children were gradually gaining strength. 

If they could have had the proper nourishing food 

the recovery would have been rapid. I lived in the 

hope of getting away, of going over Sweden to my 

husband. Every day rising with the thought 

"perhaps today my petition will be answered!" 

I was certain before the green was on the trees we 

should be re-united. Many times I was indifferent 

about the petition thinking before the answer 

came, the Russians would be back. The big guns 

talked to us of our friends in the outer world, every 

night. From eleven until four in the morning was 

the usual programme. Well it was that summer 

was coming for constant cannonading made it 

necessary to keep the windows ajar, lest they be 

broken. 

One day, our kind friend, the doctor, told me 
164 



Treatment of Military Prisoners 165 

my house was to be a German Hospital. My pro- 
tectors, the "Tyfus" signs were to be removed, 
but I should not be molested by the military 
because the whole house would be under the 
jurisdiction of the surgeon-in-charge. Also I 
was given permission to feed the prisoners with- 
out molestation. That I owed to the kind 
doctor. 

The hospital was arranged; orderlies sleeping 
in the rooms just beyond those occupied by us. 
The furniture was taken, much of it, away from me, 
for when the signs were gone, the military were 
free to enter without knocking. Many of them 
had good taste, knowing an old and valuable piece 
of furniture when they saw one! Our pictures 
disappeared. My portrait made the journey into 
Prussia, the officer who took it asking me if I 
thought it would arrive safely. The frame had 
been taken apart — all was packed with extreme, 
shall I say, efficiency ! Those things had ceased to 
trouble me, they were laid down long ago, but it 
began to wear on my spirit, — the delay ! 

There was little time to think of myself except 
the long nights with their bursting grenade and 



1 66 Treatment of Military Prisoners 

thunderous cannon. Very often I did not undress, 
thinking surely the Germans would be driven out, 
— over and over that happened. 

One day a company of prisoners were passing. 
Just in front of our windows one fell to the ground. 
Armed with my permission I went out to see what 
could be done. Not much ! Green-yellow, wearing 
the heaviest fur cap and coat of winter, the man 
was plainly dying of starvation. The Germans in 
charge even tried to help me when they saw my 
permission. One was kind enough to offer me his 
flask. As I poured a few drops of cognac down the 
poor prisoner's throat I hoped it would not prolong 
his suffering. In a state of filth unimaginable, 
covered with vermin, a skeleton, why should he be 
kept alive? The other prisoners even told me that 
it would be better to let him be. When the Ger- 
man soldier on guard saw the man had ceased to 
breathe, he told me there were some men whom I 
could help — with frightful boils — they would wait 
while I attended the sores. Three men, suffering, 
emaciated, were escorted to my kitchen; they 
should have had hospital care. The poor creatures 
instantly begged me for food. 



Xreatment of Military Prisoners 167 

"Little Sister, give us something to eat. We 
have been kept in the forest, near the trenches, 
working — there was nothing to eat — many of us 
died like our comrade!" 

My cook did not need to be told what to do; 
she had the samovar already going, and the usual 
soup for the prisoners was cooking. 

The Germans camped outside the house with 
their prisoners promising to wait until I had quite 
finished attending the men. My patients were in 
such a dreadful state it was difficult to know where 
to begin. I gave them hot water and soap — • 
their first wash since being taken captive ! It was 
part of the Kultur to keep them dirty. One had 
insects under the skin of his back. I had still a 
few of our hospital shirts and drawers, and I told 
the men to put them on while I got things together 
to dress the terrible boils. They were like little 
children in their delight with the clean linen ; they 
looked almost like human beings! Their heads 
were about the worst — hundreds of men packed 
together — no attempt at cleanliness — no water — 
no soap — no combs — ! how could it be otherwise? 
I gave them each a half cupful of soup; they 



168 Treatment of Military Prisoners 

protested at the amount, but after taking a few 
sips they suffered pain. 

It was not pleasant work attending them. 
Before the war I could not have looked at such 
things, now — After cleansing as much as possible 
their sores, I placed compresses of alcohol and 
water covered with oiled silk upon them, binding 
them up. More than the hideous sores were to 
my eyes the marks of the blows upon the men; 
the back of one of them was fairly flayed for some 
misdemeanour. He had been tied to the triangle. 
Were they men or fiends to do such things? One 
of the men was without hands. He told how 
they were lost. When a great company of pris- 
oners came on some where in East Prussia there 
was no barracks to accommodate them. The 
men were forced to waitin the bitter cold of Jan- 
uary two days, without shelter, with their hands 
tied behind them. When the barracks were 
finally ready many were dead — frozen — those still 
alive were herded under sheds dignified by the 
name of barracks, the heat of their bodies melting 
the snow which formed the floor. Many of the 
men lost hands and feet. Their food was raw 



Treatment of Military Prisoners 169 

potatoes and green tea. And the patience of 
those prisoners, — even now I cannot think calmly 
of those men. 

After my patients were bound up I returned 
them to the German soldiers. How their poor 
comrades stared, imploring like favours for them- 
selves. They had eaten the soup cooked for my 
other prisoners, those by the church, who that 
day went hungry, and when it was time for them 
to pass the house I hid myself knowing what my 
failure to send food meant. The next day when 
I carried food to them how they welcomed me. 
They thought I had been punished for helping 
them. When they understood why, for there were 
many Poles, who explained to the Russians why I 
had failed to come, they said yes, it was right ; one 
of them counting already five times he had been 
lucky enough to be fed by me! All the prisoners 
were glad to be detailed to that horrible work for a 
little food! One day they dug up fourteen Ger- 
mans who had been buried in our garden, the 
first time the Germans occupied Suwalki. Buried 
hurriedly, after eight months to remove them 
absolutely without consideration for those who 



1 70 Treatment of Military Prisoners 

were compelled to do the work, or the people who 
were near, and could not move away! But, of 
course, we did not exist, therefore could not have 
eyes or senses offended or sickened; we had no 
right to feel! I arranged a room where the pris- 
oners, who were my patients, might come, having 
to stand at the window in sight of the German 
soldier on guard. They all had the dreadful boils, 
livid and purple. One of those men fairly haunts 
me. He was worse than usual. He had been so 
many months a prisoner that when I spoke to him 
kindly he wept piteously, — a wreck of a man, 
broken by hunger and ill-usage. I gave him soup 
and had just started to iodine his back when his 
guard took him off ... ! Can anything ever 
take the memory of his eyes away from me, — and 
I never saw him afterwards! That supremely 
miserable man I was not allowed to help. 

Once I heard a German Sister telling a Russian 
to stop something, and went to see what was 
happening. The Russian was digging in a horrid 
heap of hospital refuse, having found a crust of 
bread. He showed it joyfully to his companions, 
then started to eat it! The German Sister told 



Treatment of Military Prisoners 171 

him he would die — why did he eat such a thing? 
I asked her if she could not give him something 
better; that he really was not anxious to eat such a 
filthy crust of bread. She hesitated; Sisters have 
not many rights in a German hospital. An orderly 
heard us talking, and brought a big dish of soup, 
thick, with lumps of meat! The prisoner ate it 
ravenously, and three hours afterwards was dead. 
One by one they rise up before my eyes, those 
creatures who had been men — soldiers! 

At the back of our house was employed daily a 
party of eight. The German in charge often came 
to sit in my kitchen, allowing the prisoners to 
fetch and carry. One of them, Ivan, was especially 
afflicted with boils, and so intensely grateful for 
anything done for him, as indeed they all were. 
He had been a cabinet-maker and one day brought 
three toys for the children — Cossacks, cleverly 
carved. Of course all the Germans wanted them 
for their children also. This was a good thing for 
Ivan, bringing him a little favourable notice, and 
more freedom. Upon one occasion he told me of a 
plot the prisoners had made to kill one of their own 
number, a Russian soldier, but neither a Russian 



172 Treatment of Military Prisoners 

nor a Pole, who having swung over to the German 
side, was put in authority over his fellows, tell- 
ing on them, continually getting them punished, 
beaten. The spy was of course well fed, and Ivan 
told me he spied also upon me, with the help of his 
co-religionists in the town. That frightened me, 
but I tried to make them stop planning to kill him. 
The spy was in authority over them at night, at 
least he reported their every word. How I loathed 
his leering humility, pitying the man who had sold 
himself. There was no preventing the plot from 
being carried out, short of reporting it to the 
Germans, which would be a spy's work. After all 
it was what Ivan had called it, — an execution. 
The spy had deserted his comrades, causing them 
untold suffering. How the plan was carried out 
I do not know, but it succeeded. A success dearly 
paid for! Every man the spy had reported being 
"severely punished." When those people who 
were to enlighten an ignorant world with their 
Kultur said "severe punishment" it meant those 
punished were left with their lives, just this side 
of death — and preferring it a thousand times! 



CHAPTER XXI 



THE CAPTAIN RETURNS 



The time wore on. The Germans made order, 
commanding all gardens to be cleaned. Prisoners 
were made to dig up and plant with grass seed the 
park in the centre of the town. As it was directly 
in front of our windows I could watch much that 
happened. As always the planting of the park 
began when a great battle was on. At' such times 
some extra demonstration of power was invariably 
made to impress the townspeople with the hope- 
lessness of resistance. We breathed more freely 
when the big guns sounded near. A ripple of 
excitement breaking the grey sea of misery sur- 
rounding us. I have seen the prisoners stop and 
listen — one could almost read their thoughts by 
their attitude — hoping and wondering if their own 
men would not carry the enemy's trenches. Just 

i73 



174 THe Captain Returns 

between our house and the park lay the road which 
led to East Prussia. Each time a battle took an 
unfortunate turn we would see the few remaining 
stores carried off. Bags of grain, even the stores 
of provisions in the military shops, furniture, 
pianos, and people went at such times. Suwalki 
was absolutely empty, but they always seemed to 
find something overlooked. The people were left 
without a pot or a pan to cook food in, if they could 
get it. The samovars were gone; so there was no 
longer the comfort of hot water to make tea. 

Hope awakened each time the battle drew near, 
but we paid dearly for it. All sorts of punishments 
were laid upon the townspeople because they 
dared to show a little more interest. Then, when 
we would really rejoice thinking at last the moment 
had arrived — reinforcements for the Germans 
would come singing through the town. Pande- 
monium once more reigned and brutalities were 
committed. We feared the troops when they sang ! 
Once more the wounded would come pouring in, 
pitiful remnants of men, and worst of all fresh 
prisoners! That was the most difficult to bear. 
Once a Cossack was caught and hung — shot full of 



The Captain Returns 175 

holes, and left to hang. This happened more than 
once, but this instance I saw! 

With all their cleverness the Germans were 
sometimes fooled ; for they did not always find out 
who their prisoners were. Upon one occasion 
there was a tremendous battle, and four prisoners 
got away. Three were strong enough to try for the 
Russian trenches; they had German uniforms. 
One came to me and I kept him hidden for almost 
two weeks and many people knew it. I finally 
got some clothes for him, deciding that at the first 
opportunity he should be put into the kitchen to 
work, as a relation of one of my servants. Just the 
very day I felt it unsafe to wait longer, and put 
him into the kitchen, where so many people went 
in and out, the bluff Captain came back. It was a 
shock. 

The Captain had been ill of a fever and spent 
most of his time in a hospital; later he had gone 
once more to Augustowo, and now was in Suwalki 
on sick leave. As he greeted me, he asked if I 
would take care of him. Naturally I had to. So 
once more I had the military in my rooms, and 
the odious orderlies, Max and Fritz. I wondered 



176 THe Captain Returns 

why God let Max live and took so many of the 
soldiers who were kind. The Russian soldier (a 
Pole, twenty years old, a volunteer) was sent to 
carry some hot water to the Captain, for I felt it 
was better to be bold, and the Captain said never 
a word. He was really ill, absolutely unable to 
digest anything, and drank too much. I made 
him some gruel, thereby getting a supply of 
Quaker oats for the children. Noticing something 
strange about the look of the gruel left on the 
plate I resolved to find out the next time what it 
was, and caught the Captain in the act of pouring 
a half bottle of cognac into his gruel. I told him so 
long as he was my patient he could not touch 
alcohol, for I was responsible to the doctor. The 
Captain was ill, but two days afterwards an- 
nounced his departure for the trenches. He told 
me how the drink habit had grown upon him, 
because the war made him so nervous, the ever- 
lasting danger, and the waiting in the trenches. 
While in my house he received a new decoration, 
making a brave display upon his uniform. A 
kind-hearted man was the Captain ; verily I believe 
the brutalities he was forced to countenance made 



THe Captain Returns 177 

drink his only refuge from his own thoughts. 
Some time afterwards I was not surprised to learn 
from his orderly, Fritz, that the Captain had died 
in delirium tremens; and Fritz, having lost his 
master, was on his way to the trenches. Max was 
in the commissary department, — a good one, he, 
to press the last drop of blood from the people. 
After keeping the Russian soldier as long as I 
dared, he went to ask for work on the railroad. 
If he got paid, is another story. At least he got 
some sort of food and was treated with more 
consideration than a military prisoner would have 
been. But, it was a terrible risk I ran! 



CHAPTER XXII 

THE LIVES OF THE TOWNSPEOPLE 

Live — we did not live — we barely existed ! One 
grey day blurring into another, waiting, always 
waiting for something to happen. Hoping against 
hope for deliverance. "Hope deferred maketh 
the heart sick" might have been written for the 
prisoners of war, and when hope is lost, life hangs 
loosely by a thread — how many there were who 
cut the thread ! 

Belated spring came to us, and the "white 
nights," but it did not matter. ... I changed 
my thought of rejoining my husband from before 
the green was on the trees to Wanda's birthday — 
the sixteenth of June, reminding myself of a 
donkey who had to be coaxed along the road by a 
bunch of carrots. 

One day our kind friend, the doctor, came to 

tell me one of the Russian sisters was ill; would I 

178 



THe Lives of tHe Townspeople 179 

take her in? Of course it was a happiness to be 
able to do so. But after all was prepared for her 
reception the Germans refused permission for 
her to come to me. However, I dared to go to 
her. She was in the Russian Hospital. A sad place 
was that Russian Hospital. Without hope, shut 
off from the world. I spoke with the different 
officers, taking messages, promising to carry 
letters. It comforted them and I was convinced 
that some day I would get out. 

The poor sister was very ill, in mind as well as 
body; but there was nothing I could do to help — 
my duty was towards the prisoners on the streets, 
who were not allowed in the hospital. On my way 
home I stopped with two other sisters at the 
soldiers' hospital, seeing acquaintances canying 
food to the wounded; that awful pea soup with 
stray potatoes. Everything was grimly clean 
for the prevention of infection to the German 
soldiers; there had been such awful epidemics that 
they were a little more careful. When leaving 
that hospital the German soldiers on guard jeered 
at and insulted us — saying there were no officers 
there, why had we come? And much more to the 



180 THe Lives of tHe Townspeople 

same effect, only worse. We paid no attention to 
what was said, only I shall not soon forget that 
walk back through the town. Every soldier had 
something to say. How glad I was to have my 
own roof. When I thought of those two girls 
facing those wretched, insulting soldiers every time 
they went to dinner, I felt my rooms a haven of 
safety. Oh! yes, I was favoured! 

After the Captain left, the military used my 
apartment more. They would come and sit, using 
it as a Club. Very often an officer took up his 
quarters there for a few days. So it happened on 
the 7th, 8th, and 9th of May. 

On the morning of the 8 th, my cook came back 
from the town, telling me the Germans were 
celebrating some great deed. She had not got the 
story straight, but the soldiers were given license 
that day. Misfortune enough for us! In the 
evening the officers celebrated at my house, a 
great number of them, — I was begged to give them 
tea. There was no use objecting, it would only 
have brought misfortune upon us, so samovar after 
samovar I patiently served them. Tea! A half 
glass or cup of rum, and a little water and tea. 



THe Lives of tKe Townspeople 181 

My cook told me how things were going early in 
the evening. In the officers' room they drank 
great glasses full of brandy and so on, then came 
to the table to drink their tea. 

The tongues were loosened quickly enough and 
I heard the terrible story of the Lusitania. They 
read me the dispatches, trying to make me express 
an opinion. What would have happened to us 
had I dared to express my opinion? It was taking 
a risk to say, "God have mercy on the poor ones 
left behind," as I did, hardly trusting myself to 
speak. Even that brought a storm of protest 
upon me. No one was to blame, only the English, 
the people had been warned, they had gone to 
their deaths with their eyes open — and so on, ad 
libitum, opening the way for the most terrible 
tirade against the Americans. 

I had listened to enough terrible things uttered 
against the English to call down destruction upon 
my house where they were uttered — not daring to 
say one word in protest. It would have cost our 
lives. But when they began to blackguard America 
and the Americans, beginning with the President, 
then I felt the time had come to make them under- 



182 The Lives of tHe Townspeople 

stand I would not listen to everything. Trembling 
so that my knees almost refused to support me, I 
rose from the table, saying : 

"I will not listen to one more word against 
America. I am heart-sick over this horrible news. 
You must excuse me from further service. " 

This had the effect of sobering them, a certain 
high officer saying, 

"The gracious lady is right!" 

Another one suggested that, before I went, the 
health of the Kaiser and the victory of the German 
arms be drunk. They had champagne, and I let 
them pour a glassful for me without protest — 
fetching a small carafe. When they drank the 
toast I simply emptied the glass into the carafe, 
saying when there was so much illness in the town, 
those few drops might save somebody's life. At 
this one of the officers brought me a full bottle of 
champagne from his room, saying: 

"Now you will drink our toast!" 

Frightened, but even more determined, I 
answered, 

"No! Not if there were rivers of champagne!" 
instantly adding, "that I was awfully glad to get 



THe Lives of tHe Townspeople 183 

the wine for my patients, even if I did not feel 
called upon to thank them for it. They had taken 
so much from me. " 

Saying "good-night," with a certain finality of 
tone I went to my children. I drew up a chair 
between the boys' cribs, and lifting little Wanda 
from the bed held her in my arms, thinking that 
if they tried to make me pour more tea I should 
have my excuse ready. 

For a few minutes after I left, the officers were 
quieter, but soon they began to sing — to cry 
ll Hoch! Hoch! Hoch! " growing so noisy in their 
carousal that the children were awakened. This 
once I was thankful, for when an officer came to 
beg me to come to the table once more, I was very 
busy with the children — laying my finger on my 
lips and shaking my head as an answer. Dash, 
our little Spitz dog, growled continually that night. 
She knew there was danger, and, in her animal 
way, expressed sympathy! It was such a fear- 
some night in the town — with the soldiers drinking 
— that not many people slept. At three o'clock 
the officer came once more, swaying from side to 
side in his efforts to keep his balance, to bid me 



184 THe Lives of tKe Townspeople 



serve them with tea. I had my little daughter 
in my arms, and she began to cry, thus giving me 
courage to say: 

"No! I cannot leave the child. You have all 
had quite enough. It is time to go to bed, and 
let my children sleep. " 

I suppose the bare fact of speaking in this way 
impressed a drunken man, and also that I showed 
no fear. At any rate by four o'clock when the 
guns ceased their cannonade, it was quiet in the 
house, leaving me to wonder how many such 
nights I could live through and keep my reason — 
thinking of my plight, that I must be civil to men 
who could rejoice over the innocent lives lost 
when the Lusitania went down. 



CHAPTER XXIII 

THE SALE OF ALCOHOL IS ONCE MORE PERMITTED 

My refusal to drink the toast was evidently 
reported for on the 9th of May my petition was 
refused! I was not to be allowed to rejoin my 
husband. It was a blow, coming right on top of 
the horrors of that orgy, but I refused to let myself 
be discouraged, feeling if that happened we never 
should be let out, knowing somehow, sometime, 
my prayers would be answered. I immediately 
busied myself writing another petition. The 
officers were still there on the 9th. Two of them 
looked a little ashamed when they greeted me. 
One, however, told me he had something for me 
to read, — written by an American. 

Thereupon, I was introduced to Houston 
Stewart Chamberlain, who is English, not Ameri- 
can ! What an awful creature he must be to write 

such things. Also what an awful lot of money he 

185 



1 86 Sale of -AlcoHol again Permitted 

must have received as the price of his soul! For 
he has painted the Germans as the Germans 
dream of being — blameless, angelic. Point by 
point, comparing the English with the Germans, 
he presents the former in character and language 
vastly to their disadvantage. They are left 
without a feather; plucked bare! Though he did 
say English was the only possible rival of the 
German as a world language, simply because there 
was a resemblance between the two! English 
being suited only for commerce, for the people 
had the true commercial soul, which soul was in 
their pocket-books. But, to make love, to express 
tenderness, or great and high sentiments, the only 
language in the world was the German. Seeing 
so much of their high nobility at close range I felt 
like expressing myself also in German, with the 
word which was oftenest on their lips u Ilinaus!" 
As no one but a German would by any chance 
read those booklets of Herr Chamberlain's, they 
can do small harm. And if any one did read them, 
they could not be taken seriously. The compli- 
ments showered upon the Germans are too fulsome. 
I was also given a booklet by Sven Hedin. He is 



Sale of AlcoHol again Permitted 187 

clever, at least. A People in Arms is carried about 
by most of the officers. All very fine ; but, if Hedin 
had been a prisoner to those people, left to their 
tender mercies, instead of travelling about as the 
guest of the commanding General, perhaps his 
song would have been written in another key. 
Most probably it would not have been one of 
praise. 

Once more life settled down to a grey routine of 
waiting. We were told that "civil government" 
was to be given the town. Naturally we poor 
prisoners dreaded it, knowing any change would 
be for the worse. Food again grew scarce. One 
day there was literally nothing of which to make 
soup for the military prisoners. When the time to 
feed them came, and food was not forthcoming, the 
German soldier on watch came to as'k what was 
the reason for the delay ! When I told him he said 
to give him money, and he would buy bread for 
the waiting hungry prisoners. My cook went 
with him and a Jew was forced to sell bread at a 
more reasonable rate than he demanded of the 
townspeople. The precedent was not a good one 
for me. Very often after that demand was made 



1 88 Sale of A.lcoHol again Permitted 

upon me for money, and my funds were simply 
evaporating. Once when the prisoners employed 
about the hospital asked me for food, I gave each a 
silver half rouble. There were only four of them, 
and they told me some of the German soldiers 
would sell a piece of their bread if they had silver 
money to pay for it. For this I was severely 
reprimanded. I was told my privilege of feeding 
prisoners or caring for them would be taken away 
if I did such a thing again. Curious indeed! If 
I even delayed feeding the prisoners the German 
soldiers were after me insisting on my giving food 
yet threatening to forbid it. 

Two prisoners were given to serve the old Jewish 
woman, who proudly said s"he was and always had 
been a German spy. They had to carry wood and 
water for her, receiving much abuse. A contrast 
to another old Jewess, whom I often saw and who 
helped all she could, feeding the unfortunate ones. 
She would come with a little pail of soup or cereal, 
whatever she could get, the soldiers standing 
about her and dipping in with their own spoons. 
The poor old woman always shared her food with 
the men, — it was only a few spoonsful, — but what 



Sale of .AlcoHol again Permitted 189 

a difference it made! Rain or shine she was there 
with her little pail, asking no permission, and for 
some reason never was stopped. Her son was 
somewhere among the Russian soldiers. 

The Jewish people were not meeting with the 
treatment, which they had been led to expect. 
Fines were continually imposed upon them. 
Everything had been taken away. Of course they 
were clever enough to have money concealed 
where not even the enemy could find it, bringing 
it out when a time of comparative quiet came. 
Many got permission to buy things in Prussia. 
We had some benefit from this even if it cost us 
dearly. I got ten pounds of sugar, paying ten 
roubles. The thing which was really bad for the 
town was the fact that alcohol was once more on 
sale. People who could not buy food were begin- 
ning to drink rum! 



CHAPTER XXIV 

IN TROUBLE THROUGH THE CHILDREN 

Towards the last day of May, there was an 
awful battle lasting four days and nights. So 
strong was the cannonading that no one thought 
of going to bed. The nights were light, or it might 
have been worse watching through the hours. I 
begged an orderly in the hospital to get me a 
candle — it was so trying to sit listening without 
occupation — and those nights I dressed Wanda's 
dolL To read was impossible and there were only 
small matters to write of in my journal. I had to 
keep awake ; in fact it was impossible to sleep ! 

The town was surrounded by fire, for the 

Germans often used those awful spurting flames. 

We could hear the singing of the shells, and the 

impatient tuk-tuk-tuk of the machine guns. For 

some reason that was the sound I dreaded most, — 

more than the big cannons. After the first night's 

190 



In Trouble tHrougH trie Children 191 

battle, we heard that the Russians were gaining. 
The Germans in the town were all packed up for 
flight. Prisoners were driven off to East Prussia — 
hope ran high! Wounded arrived in such num- 
bers that the hospitals already closed for evacua- 
tion had to be opened once more. Regiment after 
regiment of reinforcements went dashing through 
the town singing! Always a fearsome sign. And 
artillery — the heavy gun-carriages almost deafen- 
ing one. Such a din they made ! And how we 
rejoiced when the sound of battle came nearer. 
We were sad, too, when we thought of all the lives 
lost in such a fight. 

The first day some officers took quarters in the 
rooms of our house, that had been reserved for 
me — they were awaiting the word to go to the 
trenches. One of them, a young Herr Lieutenant, 
played about with the children. He was quite 
young and very sympathetic, and though the 
children had steadfastly refused to make friends 
with the Germans, they seemed to like this one. 
After spending the day in our rooms, this officer 
was called out that evening. We were not so glad 
the second night, for such tremendous reinforce- 



192 In Trouble tHrougH tKe CHildren 

ments had arrived that we could not picture to 
ourselves a force sufficient to overcome them. The 
next morning we were all standing at the windows 
watching the wounded arrive at the hospital, when 
the Herr Lieutenant came into the room! Only- 
over night away, but hardly to be recognized. 
He was painfully wounded, shot through the el- 
bow, and with various flesh wounds. He was torn, 
and soiled, and covered with blood stains. The 
most remarkable expression was on his face — the 
boyishness quite wiped out, through the suffering. 

The poor fellow needed attention sorely, but 
there were such crowds at the hospital he had to 
wait. Of course I dared not touch his wound — 
being a prisoner! I could only do what was 
possible to make him comfortable — he was faint 
from pain and hunger. The children were sorry 
and showed him sweet sympathy. It was curious 
to hear them talk English to him — standing about 
as he drank black coffee. Something seemed to be 
working in the little minds, and finally it came out. 
Stas said: 

"Mammy, what dreadful people the Germans 
are to shoot their own officers!" 



In Trouble tHrcmgfH tKe Children 193 

"The Germans did not shoot him, but the 
Russians! Those were Russian bullets," I 
explained. 

"Mammy, mammy, did the Russians kill all 
those Germans we saw carried by, and all the 
wounded in the hospital, did the Russians shoot 
them?" 

In her eagerness to know Wanda could hardly 
take time to speak. 

"Yes, darling, the Russians did all that!" 

"Oh goody — goody" — the children began to 

dance about, wild with joy. The boys wanted to 

look at the officer's wounds, which the Russians 

had made ; it was difficult to stop them ; they had a 

little orgy of their own. I had not understood; 

their introduction to the principle of war had just 

then taken place! It made me heart-sick to see 

how glad they were to see a wounded man. It 

was because they had seen so much of the horrible 

things done by the Germans. I could not help, 

though I dreaded the effect upon the childish 

characters; and looked at the officer imploringly. 

He was kind, and said : 

"I will not report this. You are safe, but don't 
13 



194 In Tremble tHroxigH tKe CHildren 

let them say such things when others are about. 
You are responsible for your children." 

The battle grew in fierceness all that day. 
Suwalki was almost emptied of Germans. I 
bought everything it was possible to buy, thinking 
the Russians would come in hungry after the fight 
— even bread was to be had ! A Jew came to offer 
it to me — he said he was baking for "our soldiers!" 
Well, poor creature — he was only trying to save 
his own skin! 

One night more, and then the firing grew farther 
away — Oh! the awfulness of that feeling of know- 
ing the enemy was still in possession, the despair, 
the difficulty of keeping any routine in life; one 
felt the suffering of the people of the town in the 
very air, and they would be "bestrafed"! 

I tried to teach the children something I did not 
myself believe, but a childish mind is not easily 
convinced. I told them they must be polite to the 
Germans or else Mammy would get shot too. 
Wladek did not take this quite the way I expected 
■ — he is such a little patriot — as they all are, but 
Wladek could not be made to feel the necessity of 
hiding his feelings! 



In Trouble tHro\i£H tKe CKildren 195 

That afternoon some more officers came in 
telling me they would like black coffee. One was 
a typical Prussian — big, red, and brutal. He tried 
to talk to the children. They would have nothing 
to do with him. He walked about the room twirling 
his riding whip, laughing, and satisfied with the 
result of the battle. So great was his satisfaction 
he must even express it to the children. "Russky 
kaput /" (the Russians are finished!) he kept 
saying over and over. 

The children were antagonistic and frowning. 
What was about to happen I did not know. I 
dared not interfere nor say one word. Wladek 
could at last stand it no longer. He went right 
up to the officer with his brother and sister by the 
hand, saying, 

li Nein, nein — German kaput!" 

The officer started after him furiously. Wladek 
tried to run still calling out, "German kaput. " 

I caught the boy, begging him to be quiet. The 
officer shook his riding whip over us. 

"We see how you teach your children, Madame ! 
You must make the boy say, 'Russky kaput,' or I 
will beat him till he does !" 



196 In Trouble tHrougH tHe Children 

Even then Wladek went right on saying: 
"German kaput." He seemed possessed — though 
he did not try to run — feeling his weakness. 

The officer tried to take him from me, saying he 
would give the boy a lesson. When it came to that 
point 1 just defied him also, telling him to leave 
the children alone, that he was only making the 
boy resentful, that he dared not touch my child 
still weak from fever, that if he did it would be 
over my dead body. A horrible scene and one 
which my boys will never forget ; but, we won out ! 

I used the argument once more that I was an 
American — in America a man would not strike a 
little helpless, weak child, and we were finally left 
in peace. How frightened I was ! But not Wladek ! 
He was only glad now it was over, that he had 
defied the "Germans." 



CHAPTER XXV 

WHITSUNTIDE 

The big fight was over. Our captors settled 

themselves down for an indefinite stay. We in the 

town paid dearly for the hopes we had dared 

to entertain. Fines innumerable were imposed ; — 

half the people were in prison, — and we had "civil " 

government. Curiously enough the " Bezirkschef" 

was a Russian Jew with a very funny name! He 

was from Courland, and immediately let us feel 

his power. Especially, did I come in for various 

favours! As soon as he arrived, my petition was 

again refused. He held that I was a spy, and was 

on the watch to catch me. One of the reasons 

given for refusing my petition was that I had fed 

the prisoners! This time they were right. If I 

could have got information to the Russians I 

would have done so, with joy and gladness, only 

there was no chance ! Also I fed the prisoners. 

197 



198 "WKits\intide 

The three Russian Sisters were convicted of 
espionage. Evidently one of them had asked some 
question of a German officer. I trembled for them, 
the one was still weak from the fever, when they 
came to me one day to tell me they were to be 
taken into Germany. Feeling the danger to me 
and my children through their visit they hardly 
wished to sit down. A German doctor came in to 
see what they were up to, also a soldier. We spoke 
of music and art and such things. The doctor 
wished me to sing, — under such circumstances! 
Those three girls had something to tell me, but got 
no chance, — poor souls they had lived through 
awful things. A few days afterwards I saw th'em 
driven along the street to the train, every soldier 
jeering, surrounded by men with guns on their 
shoulders. 

My funds were very low, but my cook had her 
savings. They were in my care. She had long 
ago begged me to take them — over four hundred 
and fifty roubles. I had to do it or else stop helping 
the prisoners. The men who came for medical 
help every day expected me to give them a shirt 
and soap. I could not bear to disappoint them. 



WHitsuntide 199 

Many peasants and Jews came with old shirts for 
me to buy. One Jew dug up from some refuse 
heap a lot of the Russian soldiers' shirts, evidently 
left when the town was evacuated. He wanted 
thirty kopecks a garment. I told him it was his 
duty to bring them to me without money. What 
would happen to him when the Russians came 
back if I told them such a story ! This frightened 
him and we finally compromised on ten kopecks! 

The conditions among the prisoners were no 
better — only more prisoners! There was little 
resemblance left to humanity in the men, when 
the Germans had had them for a while; — they 
were not only starved, but beaten ! 

I used to feel that I should go mad if I could not 
see some one who was neither a prisoner nor a 
conqueror, but just a human being. 

Whitsuntide came, and with it the German priest 
returned to his duties in Suwalki. This time the 
military used my apartment as quarters, so we had 
less of his company, but still too much! He spoke 
to the townspeople, giving them a message which 
purported to come from the Pope, a message of 
non-resistance, humility, and obedience! The 



200 Whitsuntide 

Kaiser was to restore the ancient glory of Rome, 
the temporal kingdom! Every good Catholic 
was to help the Germans in every way; God was 
on their side. The falsehood was obvious, — 
but still the peasants were intimidated. Their 
own priests did not dare to contradict openly, — 
but no one believed the German. On Whitsun- 
tide the soldiers were given license to drink as 
much as they wished; my piano was carried into 
the garden ; chairs, tables, and couches were taken 
wherever found, and ... a reign of terror began. 
A woman dared not look out of a window. The 
men sang and danced and yelled, and amused 
themselves with any unfortunate one of the town 
whom they caught. The guns were almost silent 
those nights ; if only word could have been sent to 
the Russians! 

One night I was bathing my children. We were 
speaking of our dear one, wondering where he 
might be, when a clangour of the church bells 
startled us. So many months there had not been 
a sound from them, — then all at once every bell 
in the town was ringing! The first thought was 
naturally that the Germans were caught — sur- 



Whitsuntide 201 

rounded. A lady came rushing in to me, so excited 
her whole face quivered. We did not say much, but 
glanced hopefully at each other. I had the children 
to put to bed, whatever was happening, and would 
not speak of our hopes before them. When the 
little people were in bed and their prayers said, I 
told them to lie quietly while I went to see why the 
bells rang. My visitor and myself went on the 
balcony, by this time the Germans were parading 
■ — singing. Every once in awhile a Hoch — Hoch — 
Hoch — would rend the air. We came down so 
rapidly from our high hopes, with hearts sick and 
sore from hope deferred, that I hardly cared what 
it was, until a German orderly from the hospital 
called out to me, 

"Lemberg ist gefallen!" 

Lemberg — fallen — taken by the Germans. . . . 
We two women clung together — a blow indeed — 
what suffering it would mean to the town — they 
would be punished horribly ! The Austro-German 
army would forget that it had been Austrian 
territory before the war. ... I could picture 
to myself just what was going on; — and my 
husband's post was in Lemberg! Surely he had 



202 "WKitsvintide 

long since left. ... I could have torn my hair 
out in the anxiety, the uncertainty — of the 
moment: — if I could just know if he were alive — 
and not a prisoner. 

Little Wanda kept calling, wishing to know if 
the Germans were going. I told her no, but that 
they had taken the town where Tatus was. The 
child comforted me when she said, "But Tatus 
is not there — Wanda knows it!" 

I gathered my wee girl in my arms ... if I 
could have cried it would have made my heart 
easier. 

After Wanda had fallen asleep I laid her on the 
bed and went back to my visitor. I was afraid 
my apartment would be selected for the officers 
to celebrate in — I peeped out from behind the 
curtain; — not one soul was to be seen, only the 
rioting soldiery — the bells kept up their din — 
they seemed to beat one into the earth. 

The next day fines were imposed upon most of 
the people — because they had not rejoiced when 
Lemberg was set free, out of her bondage to such 
freedom as we enjoyed! If we could only have 
attained that point of view things might have been 



WHitsuntide 203 

easier for us — we might then have let the prisoners 
starve and not have shown our displeasure when 
they were beaten — but owing perhaps to our 
woeful lack of Kultur we could not quite attain 
to the Prussian way of thinking! 



CHAPTER XXVI 

A NEW PETITION 

I WAS astonished to receive one morning a 
summons brought by a soldier to a meeting of the 
people responsible for the town. It was to take 
place in the rooms of a gentleman (a noble) who 
had unfortunately remained to protect his in- 
terests. His house was about in the same condi- 
tion as mine — only I had a few rooms, and he 
only two; — and even there the common soldiers 
who occupied the house made themselves at home, 
— sleeping in his bed, if it so pleased them. 

When I attended the meeting there were many 

people I had not seen since we were shut off from 

the world, — among them the engineer and the 

nobleman with his two sons, Pan W. I asked 

them why they did not come to me. They said 

they did not wish to get me into more trouble. 

I told them they could not, so they might as 

204 



.A New Petition 205 

well come. The new man, near-the-head of the 
civil government, the Courlandish Jew was there; 
my enemy! I was as polite as possible, just as if 
he had not refused my petition. I had written 
another one and wondered what would happen. 
Perhaps they would get tired of reading my peti- 
tions and let me go to be rid of the trouble ! 

When the Bezirkschef began to talk we found 
we were called together to institute a typhus 
hospital for the town — the disease was all over. 
The idea was we were to find house, beds, bedding, 
nurses, and food; the Germans would make the 
apothecaries give all drugs and disinfectants. 

I immediately said my time was more than full, 
for I was detailed to care for the prisoners working 
upon the streets and had three small children. 
A lady who was a nurse in the Russian hospital, 
working night and day, said she could not help 
for she was head nurse where the surgical cases 
were. 

The man was furious at us for answering, and 
said it was all one; we had either to do it ourselves 
or pay for the doing of it, and he would hold our 
host responsible for it. It was horrid to see that 



206 A New Petition 

ordinary creature intimidate those people. Most 
of them spoke German indifferently because they 
had never wished to, and now they were at a dis- 
advantage, — as there was no one there who could 
take the responsibility. After various hair-raising 
threats we were ordered home, — not before I was 
told I would surely be called upon to do my share 
of the nursing — to which I answered that besides 
the two reasons given I was leaving Suwalki! 
How he laughed — and said, "No, never." Also 
that he was coming to have a look at my papers. 
Well he said that for it had never occurred to me 
someone would try to look through our documents, 
which were cleverly enough hidden. 

In the wardrobe, which stood in my bedroom, 
behind the heavy mirror was a number of drawers. 
By pulling out the lower one, concealed at the 
back was a very good secret compartment. There 
rested the leather case which contained our docu- 
ments. I looked through them nervously as soon 
as I got back from the meeting, fearing to be 
interrupted. I decided to show three only, and 
my husband's Munich University diploma. I 
dared not show my wedding certificate — because 



A New Petition 207 

there it was written I was born in Canada! My 
father was an American citizen, I had lived all my 
life in the United States, never having been in 
Canada for more than short visits. Still if my 
birthplace were discovered, nothing could save 
me. 

My children's baptismal certificates could be 
shown. They were Austrian, for the children, 
were born in Cracow, where my husband was 
Professor in the University. Before our sons were 
two years old we had gone to live in Russia to 
make them Russian subjects. The family estates 
were in the Kingdom of Poland (Russian) and 
my husband had been called to serve in the De- 
partment of Agriculture — having two governments, 
Lomza and Suwalki, under his jurisdiction. His 
especial branch of science was hydrotechnique. In 
the children's certificates was a simple statement of 
dates, my name, and the word that my husband was 
a Professor of the Jagiellonian University of Cracow! 
These I laid aside and concealed the rest — some 
of them old and interesting. We had kept those 
documents with us since the war began, and after 
the first evacuation of Suwalki they had been in my 



208 A New Petition 

care. One was an old patent for a French title 
given by Henri de Valois when he came to be King 
of Poland — many families had received the same, 
but most of these letters had disappeared in the 
course of the years. 

There was a legend in our family that the great- 
grandfather drove seven days with a sledge to get 
his patent of nobility signed in Petrograd, when 
that was made necessary by the new laws. That 
document above all others had to be concealed. 

After making up my mind which documents to 
show I wrote a petition to the"Herr Presidial 
Rat" of Suwalki (the nearest English term to that 
is the Presidential adviser, but it does not mean 
that) begging leave to present a petition in person ! 
I was growing impatient, and I felt that the more 
I worried at them, the nearer my release would be. 

In a day or two I was granted my request, and 
found a curious old man, a "von," rather incom- 
petent, and who was probably regarded as a figure- 
head only. My enemy was the real chief! I gave 
him the documents and presented my petition, 
telling him it was the fourth ! This time I begged 
permission to go to Norway — if that were not 



A New Petition 209 

possible, then to America, though I did not see my 

way clear to get there, but I had a lively trust in 

Providence. 

The chief was very polite, looking at my card 

with interest, but told me I was known to the 

authorities as a Russian sympathizer, and had 

shown great distress at the fall of Lemberg. I 

admitted this, — but how could we feel otherwise 

when Poland was being trodden into the earth — 

exterminated ! He answered if I could only see the 

rights of the matter, — how Germany was the only 

friend and salvation of Poland, — my affairs would 

move along with celerity. As it was, the petition 

should be sent to the chief commander of the army, 

with his recommendation, for he was saddened 

to see a noble woman brought to such straits. 
14 



CHAPTER XXVII 

A NEW FRIEND 

The chief result of this last petition was that 
the Germans began to call me Frau Professorin! 
Almost immediately after that we made a new 
friend, an humble one, but true. The children 
were walking in the garden with my cook when 
they met a soldier, who spoke English with them ; 
they liked him and led him home with them to see 
their Mammy. He told me he had been a waiter 
in the Waldorf-Astoria in New York, later in 
Brussels. He was caught there when the war 
broke out and was forced to go to Germany, 
which meant the army for him. He was a great 
tall fellow and the children called him "dear little 
Gustav ! " How he regretted not being in America, 
and he was certainly not enthusiastic over the 
war! He was serving a doctor as orderly, and I 
have many kindnesses to thank him for. He 

210 



A New Friend 211 

would go walking with the children, often bringing 
us some delicacy. Once a wonderful box came for 
him — a present from his sweetheart! There were 
all sorts of things, — a loaf of curious, black-looking 
"sandkuchen," a cake which had been a great 
favourite in Germany — but which was not suited 
to be made with black flour and little sugar; a jar 
of raspberry jam, a tremendous sausage, bread, a 
tiny package of salt, which I was especially glad to 
get, for salt had reached a rouble a pound ! A 
little pot of butter! All these glorious things 
Gustav brought to me for the children, and I 
accepted them simply with a thankful heart. 
This kind fellow suggested a petition begging for 
permission to buy in the German military store. 
There were fruits, marmalade, smoked fish, canned 
vegetables, extracts of meat for soups, everything 
to be had, — but the townspeople dared only gaze 
at the wares from a distance. A soldier was on 
guard before the door. It was hard to be hungry, 
have money, yet not permitted to buy food! 

The people used to stand about, trying to induce 
some good-natured soldier to buy them something, 
perhaps an orange for some sick person, or child. 



212 A New Friend 

They dared not do it, however, but Gustav often 
bought things for me running the risk of detection. 
Just before the sixteenth of June, my little daugh- 
ter's birthday, through the kind doctor's influence, 
I received permission to buy for my family. After 
that Gustav brought a whole load of stuff every 
day, for I bought for the town! We had quite a 
jubilee! One day Gustav came with the great 
news that pails of marmalade were there to buy, 
and he had secured one, knowing I would wish it. 
As I was excitedly watching the opening of the 
pail, our priest came in ! He also was excited ! We 
immediately had tea and slices of black bread, 
thick with jam! There were five pounds of it, so 
I sent five glasses to people I knew especially 
needed "heartening." Gustav good-naturedly 
offered to fetch more if one of the children might go 
with him — that meant Wanda, for he adored her! 
He brought two more pails. One I kept — the 
other by various means and by-ways, for it was 
not allowed, arrived at the Russian hospital. 

Another thing I found there was "pudding- 
powder" a sort of cereal, which swelled with 
cooking, increasing greatly. A most desirable 



A New Friend 213 

quality in war time! It was sweet and seasoned 
with fruit — the children were delighted with the 
pink kind. This also I was able to get a quantity 
of, sending it to the typhus patients in the Russian 
hospital. 

The prisoners on the street were made glad by 
pails of tea with slices of lemon, an unheard of 
luxury. So many had the scurvy it was a medicine 
for them. 

The hardest thing I ever did — and for me to say 
this means something — was to draw a line to say 
there was no more. I wished to feed them all — I 
felt like the mother of the town ! My funds would 
have given out long before if the cook had not 
held me back — saying there would be nothing 
for the children. It was maddening to see such 
suffering and to be able to relieve so little of it. 
What was feeding forty-two daily, with perhaps 
ten more added because I could not say no. It was 
less than a drop in the sea among all those suffering 
thousands! Seemingly always more and more for 
the men were employed in the forests, building 
bridges, digging trenches, though many had been 
sent on . 



214 -A. New Friend 

Suwalki often hung by a hair — it was so nearly 
retaken by the Russians. At one time of such 
uncertainty, I was afraid to let the children go out, 
and I kept them in the balcony. An officer going 
by said something to a Russian prisoner employed 
in cleaning the gutter. The Russian, not under- 
standing and naturally expecting a blow, cringed — 
raising his hand with the shovel to his head, I 
suppose seeking to protect his face. The officer 
pulled out his pistol and shot him dead, forbidding 
the body to be removed. 

" Let the Russian dogs have a lesson!" 
My children saw it all. In the night they 
thought of it, crying out. Their first question in 
the morning was if the Russian soldier had been 
buried. The poor body laid there until that 
officer was moved on with his regiment. It 
remained uncovered, and it was summer time. 
What would I not give to wipe that memory 
from my children's minds', the horror of that 
decaying thing at our door. Was it any wonder 
that one could hardly breathe the air? The 
peculiar sickish, sweet odour of war! How it 
permeated everything ! It would have been better 



A New Friend 215 

to keep the windows closed, had we dared, but the 
big guns talked too often. 

So we endured — even with the ever-increasing 
number of dead lying about in the forests and 
swamps. 

Before the war, one of the delights of the Polish 
summer had been the wonderful song birds — 
nightingales, larks by the thousands showering 
their exquisite, joyous melody from the clouds 
upon a people who worked hard but also knew 
how to be gay. Who that has seen a Polish 
"harvest-home" can ever forget it? The dancing 
of the peasants, wonderful and graceful, gallant 
and free like the song of the larks; it moved one 
by its spontaneity. Of all the birds, of all the 
varieties there remained only — the carrion crows, 
hundreds of them — croaking hoarsely — filling one 
with horror and repulsion. The peasants said 
they were the spirits of the evil deeds committed 
about us. One could almost believe. 



CHAPTER XXVIII 

PRUSSIAN JUSTICE J 

Wanda's birthday, the 16th of June, came and 
went — marked only by a great fight in the trenches. 
Once more we were all keyed up to the thought of 
release; even I felt the moment had come. In 
vain our hopes ! But still we thought before long 
the Russians would surely get in. 

I pushed my calendar along to the 26th of June 
— our wedding day. Surely that would not go by 
without some news of each other — but it did! 
Also the 28th of June was the birthday of the 
twins. All went by. Gustav tried to celebrate 
the events for us, bringing little gifts for Wanda, 
and for me an unheard-of luxury — a piece of 
cheese! On the boys' birthday our kind doctor 
friend sent them a cake. 

The heat came, heavy, oppressive. People died 

like flies. Dysentery raged. The road past our 

216 



Prussian Justice 217 

house, that road which led to East Prussia, led also 
to the cemetery — little no longer — no longer peace- 
ful. There was one constant stream of peasant fu- 
nerals, with now and then a more pretentious one 
with the priest. It was a common sight to see peo- 
ple carrying a rough box, with a bit of green upon 
it, or all wrapped up in a shawl, singing the song 
for the dead as they slowly and painfully went on 
their way. The wail of those voices still rings 
in my ears — supremely melancholy and hopeless. 
Hopeless for themselves — for the dead were 
rather to be envied. War had taken the sting 
away! Often I saw them resting by the roadside, 
saying prayers for the dead that the time be not 
lost, then going on till they reached the cemetery — 
where they must dig the grave. Hours after those 
people had passed on their way to the cemetery 
we would see them returning, the cross-bearer 
going on before. That cross! Often it was only 
two pieces of wood bound together — there were 
not enough crosses in the church to serve the 
increasing number of funerals — and yet there had 
to be a cross. 
The church was the only thing left to the people 



218 Prussian Justice 

— they knelt round about the building in the dust 
of the street before it — a heart-breaking sight — 
those poor creatures — never talking much, now- 
grown quite inarticulate. The crucified people! 
Even the children were still and quiet, and weak. 
I often wondered what they prayed for, — what 
the idea back of the telling of their beads was, — 
and I came to the conclusion they were without 
thought, — just dumb and numbed with suffering, 
waiting for death to release them. That same 
mental attitude was in the air; every one felt so. 
Grey despair walked and sat with us; we had to 
fight not to be overpowered. How many there 
were who tired of the struggle, laying violent hands 
on their own lives; — daily we heard of someone 
who had gone in this way. 

My enemy, the Bezirkschef, found many and 
various ways to increase the misery of the people. 
One law posted had the effect of making all men 
and boys keep off the streets, for they were ordered 
to salute their conquerors, standing motionless 
and bareheaded. No one dared sit in the park. 
Also terrible fines were laid upon the unfortunate 
one not at home before nine o'clock. 



Prussian. Justice 219 

The people who had shops had to pay in assess- 
ments more than their stock was worth ; and for the 
slightest reason they were turned out ruthlessly. 
The wines and brandies which the Germans had 
permitted various people to buy in Prussia were 
confiscated, "taken for the hospitals"! 

Someone must have spent sleepless nights 
scheming out the various indignities inflicted upon 
the town. In a newspaper found on a prisoner 
just taken was the account of what had happened 
to a young school-teacher. Someone had escaped 
from all those who had tried — and carried news 
to the world beyond — telling a little of what was 
happening in Suwalki. This young girl had fallen 
a victim to the German soldiers ; under horrible con- 
ditions she had taken her life. The Commandant 
sent for the old priest, the soldier messenger as a 
joke, I presume, telling him his ministry was 
needed for the dying. Hurried along the street in 
his robes the priest was astonished to find that it 
was only to the Commandant he was led. The 
Commandant told him there was no dying to 
minister to, only a paper to sign for the living — 
denying the case of the school-teacher. The priest 



220 Prussian Justice 

told him it was true, — terribly true and did occui 
just as stated in the paper. The Commandant 
asked him if he were there; whether he saw the 
soldiers himself. 

"No." 

"Then you will either sign this paper or the 
church will be closed and you with the other 
priests sent to prison in Prussia." 

The old priest, grown to be a saint of God, 
working and praying day and night to lessen the 
burden put upon his people, knowing what the 
Church meant to them, dared not bring this new 
misfortune upon them, and signed the iniquitous 
paper. I spoke to him once about it, trying to 
comfort him — telling him he could not help it. 
The suffering of the man was great; he felt he 
had been called upon to be a martyr and had failed. 
He had testified to the truth of untruth, forced so 
to do because of the dire calamity threatened. 

The case of one of the Russian doctors was 
almost identical. This doctor, being a Pole, was 
detailed under escort to attend the sick in the 
town. In a hut beside the road leading to East 
Prussia lived a peasant and his wife. Beyond 



Prussian Justice 221 

taking their food, horse and cow, and making the 
man dig in the trenches nothing had happened. 
A child was born and the Russian military doctor 
was sent to attend the case, the woman being in a 
bad state. She recovered, however, and the child 
was three weeks old — when the soldiers had their 
license to celebrate a victory. . . . The hut lay 
close to the road. When the husband came 
home — he hanged himself, with the tiny baby 
dangling beside him. . . . The Russian doctor, 
who was a Pole, found all three when he came to 
see how his patient was. Overcome with horror 
and indignation he reported the case, saying 
it was a disgrace to the German army, and de- 
manded punishment ! Someone did get punished. 
The doctor! He received what they called "black 
arrest" and a two years' sentence at hard work in 
a prison, for criticizing the soldiers of the Kaiser! 

After that the Russians were not permitted to 
visit the sick; instead the townspeople were forced 
to either pay five marks a visit or go without, 
which of course they did. Went without ! Until 
another greater epidemic arose, then the people 
were driven like cattle to be inoculated for cholera. 



CHAPTER XXIX 

CIVIL GOVERNMENT 

The 15th of July we were told prisoners were to 
get ten pfennigs a day, and a piece of bread ! For 
the first time in all those weary months the fact 
that the captive soldiers were men was taken into 
consideration, and the burden of feeding them and 
being forced to look upon them taken from the 
townspeople. 

Most of the prisoners were transferred to Prussia. 
We hoped it was better there. I was very glad 
when the news came of rations for the men — but 
as always my joy was short-lived — for the per- 
mission to feed them was taken from me. To feed 
a prisoner was a misdemeanour, to be punished 
by a fine and imprisonment. With ten pfennigs 
a day and a little chunk of hard bread, the men 
would not be better off, but worse — I knew how it 
would be; at the tiniest offence rations would be 

cut off. 

222 



Civil Government 223 

Gustav still helped us along, but I dared not buy- 
so much as at first, the store people only giving 
certain things and not over a stated amount. Once 
more food grew scarce in the town. I was more 
fortunate than any one else, but from day to day I 
wondered if on the next we should have proper food. 

As people in the town were feeling the pinch of 
hunger I. felt called upon to share what we had. 
The men, Pan W. and the engineer, came very 
often for dinner. We ate silently except for the 
children; sensitive little things, they also were 
more silent than before the war. One person I 
always sent food to was the aunt of an acquain- 
tance of ours, a judge. The poor lady had decided 
to stop when the town was evacuated, thinking 
the Russians would soon be back. She had plenty 
of funds, and should have been comfortable. The 
very first day of the Prussian occupation the house 
was looted and occupied by the common soldiers. 
They took her maid, who was the only creature 
left her after the evacuation, and through fear 
of what was going on about her the poor lady had 
a stroke of paralysis. Alone and helpless, how sad 
was her case. I wished to take her to my house 



C24 Civil Government 

where she would not be alone, but of course was 
not allowed to do so. 

Gustav told me to stop letting the two men 
come to meals. The engineer was the pet sus- 
pect of the Bezirkschef. Our friend, the man in 
whose house the meeting for the organization of 
the typhus hospital had taken place, was in 
prison. He had been pulled out of bed in the 
middle of the night and carried away. Gustav 
brought a piece of sausage to me one day — about 
it was wrapped a piece of paper — "The order of 
the day" from the Commandanture. I naturally 
looked through it with interest. A long list of 
things confiscated and people punished. Z — ski, 
sentenced to five years' imprisonment at hard 
labour. I was so overcome by the news that it was 
difficult to keep calm. I sent my cook to get what 
news she could of the poor man. She came back 
with the information that he had returned to his 
house — that the case was finished! Thinking the 
matter over carefully, I decided to run the risk of 
going to our friend Z — ski, telling him what I had 
read. My cook, after hearing my plan, grew almost 
hysterical. About five o'clock I went on my 



Civil Government 225 

errand, walking through the sultry streets, looking 
neither to the right nor the left. It was hot, and 
the air heavy with the odours of war; the misery of 
the time dragged like a leaden weight upon mind 
and feet. 

When I got to Z — ski's house where a soldier was 
on guard, I found him sitting before a table with 
vacant eyes — staring into space. He recognized 
me finally, and almost a smile came to his lips. 
He asked me how the children were, poor man! 
Somewhere he had three children and a very 
pretty wife. His old servant was fussing about, 
and begged me to persuade her master to take a 
hot bath which she had prepared for him. Getting 
rid of her I asked him what he had been told when 
released ! 

"Nothing." 

I asked him if he knew a soldier was on guard? 

Also "No." 

I had to tell him what I had learned, begging 
him if there were any message for his wife to give 
it to me — also telling him to keep quiet and think 
of all he wished to tell me. 

He struggled bravely, saying it could not be 

15 



226 Civil Government 

true — he had done nothing wrong — as if that were 
necessary! He had only given money to the 
officers taken prisoners. He could not believe the 
information was correct. 

I begged him to realize his position — lest the 
enemy take him unawares. He started to write 
to his wife — stopped and tore it up. 

"You tell my wife! Tell her I loved her, and 
now shall never see her again. My sons must 
understand the fate of their father — they are — 
Poles." He spoke like a man drowning — gasping 
for air. I thought he would die before my eyes, 
wondering idly if I should do wrong not to aid him, 
thinking of the blessed relief death would mean. 

Suddenly he told me there was something he 
wished to give me — that the Germans should not 
get it, — money, taking from a hiding-place a great 
pile of bills! As he was counting it a soldier on 
guard came in asking what we were doing. I told 
him quite simply the gentleman was lending me 
some money as my funds were running low — 
showing him — he left us, satisfied — and I found 
that there were 1500 roubles and three thousand 
marks, putting the money into my bag. We 



Civil Government 227 

spoke together with difficulty. I noticed how his 
eyes travelled from one object to another — staring 
but unseeing. After awhile he told me not to 
worry too much about him — his heart was weak, 
the end would come soon — sooner than the war 
would end, or the Russians retake Suwalki f 

I looked at him wondering if that wife of his — 
somewhere — would recognize her husband in the 
white and broken old man before me. I remem- 
bered the first time I ever saw them both, at a 
ball in Suwalki less than two years before, she 
pretty, gay, exquisitely dressed. He gallant, with 
hair black as night — with the "grand manner" 
of the Polish noble. I had admired his wonderful 
dancing of the mazur. 

Presently I told him we would eventually suc- 
ceed in getting out. My faith had not wavered, 
else the days would have been impossible to live 
through. Some day I would deliver both messages 
and money to his wife which in the meantime I 
was glad to have. We clasped hands, gazing 
silently at each other. The next morning he was 
taken into East Prussia, and I was told to keep 
strictly at home. 



CHAPTER XXX 

IN THE RUSSIAN HOSPITAL 

Many people in the town were punished for the 

same reason Z — ski was. Four Russian officers 

and two soldiers had attempted to escape! We 

found out when the fines and imprisonments were 

generously passed around! The soldiers were 

shot down, and one of the officers was caught ; but 

three either reached their own lines, or were killed 

in the woods. One of them had been betrothed 

to a girl in Suwalki. She knew nothing of the 

plan, but that did not matter. Twice led out to 

face the firing squad — threatened — the girl was 

finally thrown into prison; then sentenced to ten 

years at hard labour. With her, various young 

people were also sentenced, her acquaintances 

getting from two to five years each. One brave 

little woman, a teacher of her native language, 

French, defied all orders, going about to gather a 

228 



In the Russian Hospital 229 

little money for those who had to start for their 
Prussian prison. They who had so little them- 
selves were always ready to help the still more 
unfortunate. 

How many from just our small town of Suwalki 
are wearing their hearts out in Prussian prisons — 
people who have done absolutely nothing, unless 
to be Polish, and to be alive, is a crime. 

The Russian hospital was given a new surgeon- 
in-chief, the doctor who had operated upon my 
little boy's finger. He, the incarnation of Schreck- 
lichkeit, too hard and cruel to be longer tolerated 
in the German hospital, was given charge over 
the Russians. Could worse misery come upon the 
defenceless men? When I learned this, there 
were a number of officers sitting about my table 
drinking coffee. They told it as a good joke that 
this brutal man had been appointed, laughing 
uproariously that his first demand had been for a 
larger Leichen Halle (morgue). Congratulating 
each other upon the fact that there would soon be 
fewer prisoners. 

Not long after this new chief was set over them, 
a Polish lady came to see me, showing me the 



230 In tKe Russian Hospital 

marks of his hand upon her face. Serving as a 
nurse some especial piece of brutality had been too 
much for her. She spoke! with the result the 
doctor struck her violently across the face, knock- 
ing her down. This same lady told how she had 
used the expression "Pray God the war will 
soon be over." The surgeon-in-chief said she 
was praying on the wrong side; her prayers could 
not be answered! 

Another doctor, a Herr Professor, was about as 
bad. A wounded officer needed an immediate 
operation — the amputation of a leg. The Herr 
Professor called upon refused to operate without 
a fee of two hundred marks. The officer had no 
money, or very little, and by the time the other 
officers and sisters in the lazarette had signed a 
promissory note, gangrene had claimed its own! 
It was too late — the officer died. 

One day two ladies came to me to help them get 
food for the wounded once more. There was so 
much typhus and no milk, nor, in fact, anything 
except pea-soup. We were forbidden to help, but 
thought there were ways of getting around the 
difficulty. I gave them twenty-five roubles and a 



In tKe Russian Hospital 231 

quantity of pudding-powder, which they carefully 
concealed. They had no sooner gone than my 
cook told me an officer who spoke Polish had 
questioned her — asked her what the ladies wished. 
My cook was clever enough to say she did not 
know ; but hastened to tell me of the circumstances. 
Of course I sent her instantly to warn the ladies 
that they were watched — and that time the 
Bezirkschef did not catch any one ! 

I kept very quiet, hoping against hope for some 
change, but no answer came to my petition, and I 
knew as long as my enemy was at the head there 
was no possibility of release. Bad news came to 
us from the world. We heard the Russians were 
in retreat; but about us the fight was still going 
on. Once more the Great Man was there, direct- 
ing the line of defence. I was told by an officer 
the orders were to take Kalvarya at all costs. The 
Russians had a battery of guns on top of the little 
hill, and the Germans could not get by. This was 
a point just beyond Suwalki. Tremendous re- 
inforcements arrived, among them the "Black 
Bavarians, " they who, it is said, never delivered 
prisoners given into their charge. "The prisoners 



232 In tKe Russian Hospital 

got tired," they would say. And regiment after 
regiment tried to storm the hill. Why the sense- 
less waste of human life, no one knew. It was the 
high order! An officer, telling me of the dreadful 
slaughter, said the swamps about Kalvarya were 
as thick with dead as a Christmas cake with 
currants — and, after all, they did not get the 
Russians, for they withdrew! 



CHAPTER XXXI 

THE PRUSSIAN TREATMENT OF THEIR OWN 

It was not only the captives who suffered. I 

have seen many a German soldier beaten, knocked 

about! They were all around us — one had to 

observe! I used to be sorry for the men in the 

hospital, the rules were so rigid, the sisters' duties 

seeming to consist in scrubbing the floors rather 

than in making life a little easier for the wounded 

men. A Pole, from Posen, among them, once 

begged me for a book to read. Others heard of it, 

and more books were demanded. I still had 

various bookcases, aside from those the chickens 

roosted upon in the library. It got to be a habit 

that the wounded soldiers, our enemies, came to 

look through my books. They often would sit 

down, longing, as always, to talk, inevitably 

showing me some photograph of wife and child or 

sweetheart, each one speaking longingly of the 

end of the war. 

233 



234 Prussian Treatment of tKeir Own 

At rare intervals I visited the hospital. Once 
from my balcony I witnessed the following. The 
chief of the hospital in our house came along, 
reading a paper; he called an orderly to give the 
order that all patients who could walk be mustered 
in front of the hospital. This was done, the men, 
in their grey and white striped garments, hobbling 
out. The chief then told them he was ordered to 
send every man who was sufficiently recovered to 
wear a uniform to report for duty. Among the 
men was one who had no wound apparently, only 
his neck was bound up. Spoken to, his voice could 
not be heard in reply. The surgeon-in-chief asked 
him why he spoke so. The poor fellow struggled 
to speak louder. The chief raised his hand, strik- 
ing the voiceless man upon the mouth, knocking 
him flat on the ground. After he had picked 
himself up, the chief once more told him to speak. 
This time the voice had quite gone, and the soldier 
was let go, with the remark: "Now I believe you 
cannot speak!" 

So many men were killed at the taking of Kal- 
varya that even the sanitary orderlies from the 
hospitals were called for duty in the trenches. One 



Prussian Treatment of their Own 235 

in the hospital under my roof was a young violinist. 
I had often spoken with him, and he brought 
candles to me whenever he could. His career was 
just beginning when the war broke out. Not yet 
in the army, he volunteered for the sanitary 
service; very nervous, sensitive, it struck terror 
to his soul when called out for the trenches; and 
he drank essence of vinegar to make himself ill. 
Somehow or other it was found out, or, at least, 
suspected. The boy was disgraced and beaten. 
Really ill, after the questioning he was put to bed 
in a room directly under my bedroom. Feeling 
death near, finally a confession was wrung from 
him; after that all were forbidden to go near him, 
even to give a drink of water. Shut in by himself 
in that big room, his voice echoed weirdly, begging, 
pleading for mercy, for a drink of water. One of the 
German sisters got hysterical at the sound, and I 
thought she would also be beaten. Two days and 
nights we heard him, moaning, whimpering, some- 
times screaming horribly. I tried to console 
myself with the thought that he was delirious. 
Quieted at last by the death he had prayed for, 
we saw how the body was brought out, clothed 



236 Prussian Treatment of tHeir Own 

only in a shirt, thrown on a peasant's wagon, 
dragged by two Russian soldiers. The German 
soldiers were ordered out to see how a traitor was 
served. After a long harangue, the Russians, 
under the care of a German soldier, started for 
the place of burial. 

Thinking is seemingly forbidden to the German 
soldier. The utmost severity controls. Only at 
intervals they are given license and as much as 
they wish to drink, and encouraged to do the most 
terrible things. That is why the people in occu- 
pied territory have so hard a lot. The curious 
part of it is, they always wish to be praised. They 
will take your furniture, pack it up, and expect 
you to stand entranced with their "chic" way of 
doing it. Nothing is so hard to bear as the scorn 
with which people not Germans are regarded. 
Nothing is sacred ! I was surprised at the German 
priest imitating the singing of peasants and priest, 
holding them up to ridicule, singing mockingly the 
words supposed to be so sacred. 

One day this German priest was holding a service 
for the soldiers in the trenches, near Wigry, when 
the Russians began to drop grenades on them! 



Prussian Treatment of their Own 237 

There was a scattering to the four winds of his 
congregation! For the remarkable bravery dis- 
played in not letting a piece of shell strike him, this 
priest received the Iron Cross! And, of course, 
he came to celebrate the occasion in my house! 



CHAPTER XXXII 

AFTER THE FALL OF WARSAW 

We constantly heard rumours of the triumph 

of the German armies. One afternoon the bells 

began their horrible din! And we knew a new 

misfortune was heaped upon the head of poor 

Poland. The day was hot and breathless, the 

smell of war sickening, overpowering. How glad 

I was the windows were shaded from the fierce 

rays of the sun. They could not say I closed the 

blinds at the sound of German victory, inflicting a 

fine upon me. The children were in the garden 

with my cook and Gustav. I wished they were 

at home; the sound of the bells was so difficult to 

bear alone. Looking out behind the curtain, I saw 

Pan. W., the Polish nobleman, who was slightly 

deformed, coming towards my door. Quickly 

going down the stairs to let him in, we met without 

a word. His face was enough. I knew before he 

238 



After tHe Fall of Warsaw 239 

spoke that Warsaw had fallen — Warsaw, where his 
wife and young daughters were. 

We went upstairs together. He threw himself 
down in a chair, burying his face in his hands, a 
pitiful figure. The bells kept up their clamour as 
if they never intended to leave us in quiet again. 
After a long time, my visitor raised his head. "If 
the bells would only stop ringing ! Oh, Warszawa, 
Warszawa. " He spoke as if the words strangled 
him, bursting into sobs which shook his whole 
body — and I was glad, knowing the relief that 
tears would bring to him. We, the unfortunate 
ones, did not need to hide our feelings from each 
other. 

After awhile the children came in. Gustav, 
with the delicacy denied most of his superiors, 
went off without a word. Wanda, with the un- 
erring instinct of childhood, went to sit upon my 
visitor's knee, asking him why he cried. " Because 
I have two little girls, and do not know where 
they are, " he told her. The children had made him 
put aside the thought of Warsaw for a moment, 
and we talked of my prospects of getting away. 

When the armies were withdrawn from Suwalki, 



240 After tKe Fall of Warsaw 

the people would starve, surely. Black days were 
coming. The next day I went to see the " Presidial 
Rat" once more. He told me my papers had been 
examined by the "Head Command" of the army, 
but there was small chance of the permission 
requested being given. They thought I had seen, 
and knew, too much; my sympathies were too 
outspoken. Also, there must be certificates 
telling the reason of my remaining in Suwalki — 
that my children really had been ill of typhus 
at the time. It should have been easy to get such 
a statement, only I had to beg that brutal man, 
the present surgeon-in-chief of the Russian hospi- 
tal, to give it me. I instantly wrote a note to him, 
asking him to call ; and Gustav delivered it. This 
time, being less busy, he came quickly. I told 
him quite frankly what was necessary, and why; 
and also, that for the time spent in helping me I 
would pay at the rate of small operations. He 
said he wanted fifty marks — in advance! I gave 
it him, and he went off, telling me he would do all 
in his power to aid me, even to calling upon the 
Bezirkschef. Before he went, he told me of a 
few bits of furniture of mine he would like, really 



After the Fall of Warsaw 241 

choice things, which I had kept close about me. 
Anything to keep him on my side ! What mattered 
a little furniture now! Three days after he 
returned in quite a different mood! Some of the 
various diplomatic notes had been exchanged with 
America, about the submarines, and the Germans 
were furious! He told me he had written the 
certificate, but it would do no good ; I would never 
get out, and might thank my own country for it. 
America was holding a knife to Germany's throat, 
etc.! He called us all sorts of names, and in- 
cluded the whole Anglo-Saxon race. 

I listened with calmness to his frenzy, for I would 
rather have his blame than his praise. 

There were fewer prisoners now, less for me to 
do, and for a day or two I allowed myself to be ill 
and went to bed. It only made things worse for 
the children ; besides, if I really gave in, it was the 
end of us ! I must make the most tremendous effort 
of all just now. So, once more the burden was 
shouldered. 

News came to us continually of some new 
triumph for the Germans; the bells clanged it into 
our ears. I think that for every bridge or hut they 

SO 



242 After tKe Fall of "Warsaw 

took the bells were rung! The nights were dark 
with the early darkness of the North. We had no 
light. It was cold and wretched, and there was no 
fuel. We saw daily the great loads of trees from 
our forests cut down and made into logs, carted 
into East Prussia, often with loads of furniture. 
I do not know where it came from. No more was 
in the houses, unless the officers had been using it. 
There was a tremendous search for metals, the 
peasants hiding what they might have in the earth 
rather than give it up for bullets to shoot their 
own men down with. When we heard such a 
search was to take place, which meant that all 
handles, knobs on doors and furniture, window 
fastenings — everything which could be considered 
metal — would be collected, I feared my papers 
might be discovered. It was a possibility some 
officer might decide to take my bedroom furniture 
for himself! Through a peasant woman, devoted 
to the family, I got my papers away, and buried 
deep down in the earth, in two iron pots, one 
turned inside the other as a cover, all bound up in a 
mackintosh. They were buried under the place 
where the pigs used to root. The pigs were no 



After tKe Fall of Warsaw 243 

more, but the pig pen yet stood. There our papers 
still rest, waiting for Suwalki to be taken once 
more. I believe that Suwalki will again be 
ours and that we shall recover our documents. 



CHAPTER XXXIII 

PROCLAMATIONS ! 

Notices were posted by the commandant regard- 
ing the harvests — ' ' That any one touching or using 
any grain, potatoes, or vegetables from his own 
gardens or fields, would be punished to the full 
extent of the law — military law! " It was further 
stated that all crops would be gathered under mili- 
tary supervision. 

I think tears of blood fell from the eyes of the 

people when they were told of this. It seemed 

just the last straw. After the long hot summer, 

hungry, but working with the feeling that at least 

something would be in store for the winter — to have 

it all taken away! Especially, were they amazed 

to find how cleverly they had been compelled to 

buy back their own grain, paying twenty-five 

marks a measure, — to plant the crops which were 

now taken away. I remember one old peasant 

244 



Proclamations ! 245 

who came to me, puzzling over this fact — "Are 
there no gentlemen in Prussia, to deceive poor 
people so?" he asked. Then, with true peasant 
philosophy, shrugging his shoulders, "If they do 
take my little crop, it will do them more harm 
than they do me. God does not forget. ' ' They did 
take the crops, to the last bean and potato. 

Few could rise to the philosophy of that one old 
man. All had gone a step farther on the road to 
obliteration, — and many hanged themselves, 
putting an end to their sufferings. 

Not long afterwards there was another pro- 
clamation — this time about dogs, also signed by 
the commander of the army. Ten marks to pay 
for the keeping of a dog ! Most had by this time 
disappeared. I had chloroformed many; it was so 
wretched to see the creatures going about hungry, 
and to feed dogs when so many starving human 
beings were about, was impossible. The dogs 
remaining were the especial pets, companions in 
misery, like our little Dash. The two little 
puppies, Dash's babies, had been taken by officers. 
The children cried their eyes out about losing them 
but Dash we clung to! I paid the tax to keep 



246 Proclamations ! 

our true friend, but few others in the town could. 
The animals taken were not tenderly put to death. 
I was told about it with horrid details by a soldier, 
who was indignant over the whole thing; but 
he was a Pole, and could not enter into such 
amusements. 

One more notice posted was about people to 
work in East Prussia; all able-bodied individuals 
had to report. As they did not do so, the soldiers 
were sent to take them from the houses. With 
great difficulty, I begged my cook off, even going 
so far as to request permission to keep her, from 
the police. 

It was a cruel sight to see those sorry bands 
of people — not only peasants — driven through the 
town to the station on the way to East Prussia. 
Families which up to that time had clung together, 
were now mercilessly torn asunder. A man, 
escaping by offering to point out some spot where 
houses had stood before the war, drove back 
from East Prussia, and from him I heard what was 
happening to our people. The women and girls 
were housed, the men sleeping on the ground at 
a distance. What happened I cannot tell — but 



Proclamations ! 247 

that man, speaking slowly, mournfully, told me 
how the night was often torn with the screams of 
the women. Their huts also lay close to the road 
which led into East Prussia — far, far in — and the 
men were not allowed to go to the defence of 
their own women, to protect them from the troops 
marching, always marching, into Poland. 

After the fall of Warsaw, we knew the Germans 
were trying to trap the Russians near Suwalki. 
Great numbers of troops once more were about us. 
We heard of the Russian retreat. At least, they 
were not caught by the German "Nippers"! 
One day we heard Sejny was taken, and after that, 
every day we were told of new gains. The mili- 
tary merely passed through Suwalki now; food 
grew alarmingly scarce, and the town was so quiet. 
After the continuous battles all those months, we 
felt the stillness even more oppressive and hope- 
less. 

Gustav came to tell me the day after the fall of 
Kovno, that all the men stationed in Suwalki 
were to be moved on. We had lost our military 
significance! My enemy, the Bezirkschef, had 
been detailed to crush the people in some Cour- 



248 Proclamations! 

landish county taken by the Germans. Poor 
people ! they had my sympathy, but we were glad 
to get rid of him ! Nothing else could be quite so 
bad! 

I was sorry to lose Gustav, who wept bitterly at 
parting from us — wondering who would help me 
over the bad spots. 

Many officers came to say good-bye to us, among 
them the surgeon-in-chief of the Russian hospital ! 
Loss of military significance had some benefits! 
He wished to be nice — to speak to the children, but 
they would have none of it. He even looked at 
Wladek's finger, pronouncing it good, and only a 
tiny "fault in his beauty!" He advised me to 
settle down without further thought of escape. I 
often wonder if that man has been permitted to 
live, going further on his merciless way. 

As soon as the troops left, we began to feel the 
pinch of necessity. Everything was taken — there 
was often nothing to buy, except rum. That there 
was in plenty ! One Jewess actually came to me to 
beg help in getting a permit to open a tavern. I 
told her "No, but I would ask for permission to 
close it!" It did not help much. She got her 



Proclamations ! 249 

license, as did many others also. Drunkenness 
was part of the daily life of the town. With no 
food, and only the soup in small portions served 
the town by our committee, the pennies could buy 
a temporary relief and forgetfulness. Thus was 
the crowning injustice put upon the people; they 
were debauched. 

A few days of bad food, and all of my children 
fell ill with dysentery. Of course they could not 
eat black bread after typhus. The doctor who had 
been always our kind friend came to see us. He 
was soon to go, also. He used the cholera serum 
on the children, and for a few days the poor little 
things were very ill. Wanda and Wladek recov- 
ered in a degree, but Stas grew worse. I was once 
more fighting death for my boy. Oh the misery of 
those days! It comes over me in a flood only to 
think of it. Night and day — night and day — ■ 
always the same. The child grew transparent 
from the constant lose of blood, just a little 
moaning atom ! 

Something broke down in me those days. I had 
come to the point where I knew if we were not re- 
leased it meant giving up my children ; and now I 



250 Proclamations ! 

wished to give them up rather than see them suffer. 
Perhaps that was just why I had failed. I had 
clung to them so desperately, calling on them not 
to leave me. They had been left to me, but now 
I was willing to leave the decision to the Higher 
Power, not forcing things my way. Looking Death 
in the eyes, one loses the fear of Him. 

Our kind friend, after giving Stas the third 
hyperdermic injection of cholera serum, pro- 
nounced the verdict of life for him — if we could get 
away! As he stood looking at my boy, he said, 
' ' You have got to be let go. It is inhuman to keep 
you longer. Try once more for permission to go 
to Berlin. You have your Ambassador there." 
I told him there was as yet no reply to my last 
petition. It had been promised soon. 

Stas lived and on my birthday, the 28th of 
August, the kind doctor was sent on, away from 
Suwalki! He came to say good-bye, the two 
children hanging on him; they loved him. To 
me, he wears a halo! How much he had done to 
lighten the burdens, not only for me, but for the 
whole town ! While he was there, saying good-bye 
to us, a soldier came with the final refusal of my 



Proclamations ! 251 

petition. It was a hard blow, but I just would not 
accept its finality. If God saved my boy's life the 
second time, when I was ready to give him up, it 
surely meant that we were to be released! Then 
and there I once more went to the Civil Govern- 
ment. The " Presidial Rat " was surprised at my 
persistency; he felt there was no use in it; but he 
finally consented to send another petition, this 
time asking permission to travel to Berlin, there to 
enquire if it were possible to go to America. In 
the office was a wonderfully kind man, a lieuten- 
ant, who told me this time he would help me. 
Surely we would be freed. A day which seemed 
to be all darkness was turning bright. I went back 
to my boy with a little hope for the future. He 
was so weak as hardly to breathe. I had a bottle 
of red wine, and fed him a drop at a time. Per- 
haps before he needed food we should be on our 
way! 



CHAPTER XXXIV 

release! 

The days went by, full of cares, for the three 
children were difficult to provide for ; but God had 
raised up a new friend — the lieutenant ! a gentle- 
man, kind and tender-hearted. When I asked 
for a doctor at the Magistrate he sent one, and 
food for the children, too — a whole half loaf of 
greyish white bread! I was all packed. I think 
my cook and other people, also, thought I was 
mad, that my brain had been turned with the un- 
certainty as to the whereabouts of my husband, 
and the horrors we had lived through. The old 
priest came to talk to me, persuaded by what he 
heard of my preparations, that all was not right. 
I told him I was "sure, sure, sure of release — 
nothing could hold us." He shook his head, 
saying I was "either] mad or a saint with a 

vision." 

253 



Release ! 253 

I was neither, only a mother, determined to 
rescue her children. 

Once more Stas was a little worse, and that 
day a portion of our food was not sent to the 
paralysed lady. It had daily been carried, and 
the omission was an oversight with which I had 
little to do. That, however, did not lessen my 
condemnation when the next morning a soldier 
handed me a note, saying it had been found beside 
the dead body of the lady who wrote it. The pity 
of those few lines, saying she ' ' had heard I really was 
leaving ; and, after living through one day without 
a friend, had decided to end all. Every one in the 
town was as badly off as she was — there was no 
hope. God knew the weight of sorrow and misery 
laid upon Poland, and would forgive her. Purga- 
tory had been upon the earth. She had no fear 
of what was to come." With loving wishes of 
better days for us, and greetings and blessings 
for the townspeople, she had signed herself grandly, 
as in the old days. The soldier told me someone 
going to see her had found her hanging in the 
wardrobe. 

I was heart-broken; after all those months, to 



354 Release! 

have forgotten. My cook grew hysterical when 
she heard of it, saying the two children had eaten 
an egg apiece, as I was too busy and troubled over 
Stas to eat, she had followed my example. As she 
put it, "The food had been saved for the next 
day." For the poor paralysed woman there was 
no next day. 

The days went by until the 6th of September. 
At the end of a grey day, when my courage had 
snapped off, a soldier came to me with the order* 
to instantly report at the city offices. It did not 
take long for me to dress! Walking through the 
town in the early dusk, the place struck a chill. 
It was full of the living dead. Though dark and 
cold, no smoke curled from the chimneys, no lights 
shone from the windows. One more night of 
darkness to be lived through. 

Arriving at the offices, I was received with great 
ceremony, conducted instantly to the "Herr 
Presidial Rat," who greeted me impressively, say- 
ing, "I have your permission to travel to Berlin. 
There you can see for yourself if you can get 
further permission to travel to America! I can- 
not understand why the permission was given now 



Release ! 255 

after so many refusals." I told him "because it 
had to!" Then, asking how soon we could leave, 
he told me as soon as I was ready ! What glorious 
news ; to be allowed to get on a train and travel to 
freedom ! After telling me that a man would come 
to take our photographs the next morning and pre- 
pare various papers, I said "good-evening. " 

It was a different woman went down those stairs ! 
I wanted to sing and dance ! Out on the streets I 
was glad it was dark. My joy almost shamed 
me. . . . Reaching home, when my cook met me I 
laid hold of her, forcing her to dance, most pro- 
testingly, calling on all the saints ! The children 
were astonished, but willing to be glad, as mammy 
was! Little Stas calling out from his crib, in a 
tiny, weak voice, "It is good mammy is glad. " 

My cook thought I was mad — that the end had 
come. When she finally understood we were really 
going, she sat upon the floor with her apron over 
her head, crying, howling ! That made me cry, too, 
and, of course, then the children joined in — the 
very thing to bring me to my senses! I fed them 
soberly, bathed them, and put them to bed, for 
children must be put to bed, whatever happens. 



256 Release! 

The next day a soldier came to photograph us, 
and the kind lieutenant also came — to congratu- 
late me, and to give me advice about various things, 
telling me while on the journey to speak "neither 
Polish nor English, only German. " I asked him, 
' ' What about the children ! " " The children must 
understand the danger. They know how to speak 
German. " 

I was to have three papers aside from my pass- 
port. One given me as a much appreciated kind- 
ness, addressed to the German Red Cross, 
recommending "Sister Laura von Turczynowicz, a 
member of the Polish Red Cross, and chief com- 
mittee in Warsaw, to their care; that they should 
help me in any way needed. " 

The second paper testified that we all had 
typhus in February and March. The third, a 
literal translation — "This is to certify by Frau 
Professor Laura von Turczynowicz and her three 
children is no danger of carrying lice. " Yes, there 
was the odious word, signed by the official physi- 
cian. Oh, it might have been worse. They might 
have sent us to be disinfected! 

There would be no train until the following 























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Release ! 257 

Sunday, the 12th, for troops were being drawn out 
of Poland and sent to the West Front. A long 
wait, but better — Stas" was too weak to travel. I 
would have to carry him, for no nurse was allowed 
me. My cook had to remain — the faithful crea- 
ture ! I had to go alone — not even thinking about 
it — though before the war we had been surrounded 
with servants. When the children were naughty 
we had wondered that their governess had such a 
bad method with them! Well — I knew now. 

The news got out in the town. People came 
to see me. It made one feel so selfish. One day 
the official doctor suggested that we should take 
a little drive! to get Stas once in the air before 
the journey. A doroszka which had been driven 
to Grodno in the time of evacuation stood in its 
old place. It was curious to get into a vehicle 
once more. The coachman told me he had seen 
my husband in Vilno in March. He had driven 
him from the station. It was my first word! 
This man told me also the company of children 
with our governess had arrived in Vilno after an 
interminable, dangerous journey. He did not 

know of their whereabouts. 
17 



258 Release ! 

We drove a little way from Suwalki. I won- 
dered why we did not come to the woods of Augus- 
towo — but then understood. The woods were all 
gone — graves, myriads of graves, instead. I 
begged the man to turn around ; it was too much to 
bear. The town, in its desolation, was not much 
better — roofless houses, and windowless — and door- 
less ; no animals, no people, and no children ! They 
were gone — wiped out! It was better to be at 
home with the door shut. There I made also a 
pilgrimage to say good-bye to the old house, our 
palace! Most of it I had not seen in months, and 
now I am sorry I looked upon it in its desecration. 

The old priest came to see me — solemn and full 
of warnings. Before he left, he understood that 
for me the risk was no more to go than to stay. 
He blessed us, sending us on our way, telling me 
not to forget them when I got out into the world, 
and to send them help. I promised — a promise 
yet unfulfilled, because I could not. 

The last visitor I had was Pan W. He had much 
news from Warsaw. A Jew had managed to 
travel from Warsaw to Suwalki, bringing him 
news. His wife was in the Russian Red Cross, he 



Release ! 259 

heard, and the daughters safe in the depths of 
Russia. In Warsaw the conditions were the same 
as we had. The President of our Central Com- 
mittee, who called upon the conqueror of the city, 
instead of being received, was thrown into prison 
as a hostage. 

Pan W. was a little happier, though terribly 
apprehensive for me. I insisted on giving him 
a hundred roubles, for I was going out into the 
world, while he was a poor prisoner ! Asking also 
what else I could do, hearing for the first time that 
he and his sons slept without pillows or covering. 
He said in a mild voice, "It was cold and hard. " 
I fell into a perfect fury with the war! Why 
should we suffer such things ? That man and his 
sons were literally facing cold and starvation. 
How long would a hundred roubles last? 



CHAPTER XXXV 

THE JOURNEY 

The i 2th of September we started on our 
journey! Just one year before we had arrived 
in Vilno, after the first evacuation of Suwalki. 
Well I did not know then what was waiting for 
me, to be lived through, moment by moment. 

That night I did not go to bed, but sat talking 

with my true and tried friend, the cook. Even 

then she tried to make me change my mind, being 

sure the Germans would do such frightful things to 

us. We were all ready and waiting, when a soldier 

came at seven to fetch us. I hardly glanced at our 

old house, now almost bare of furniture — it meant 

nothing for me, only suffering! We got into a 

carriage, belonging to the Red Cross, and started. 

The last vision was my piano in the garden — the 

leg broken off, sagging at one side, the seams 

burst open, white from the rain and the sun. 

260 



XHe Journey 261 

I was glad no one was there to see us go — it 
would only make them feel their own lot more. 

That drive to the station through the grey 
September mists, cold and uncomfortable, is one 
not easily forgotten. We found the station sur- 
rounded by troops who were to travel by the 
same train. A few of them crowded about, trying 
to speak to the children. I was no longer in uni- 
form, and perhaps they thought we were not 
Polish ! The lieutenant was there, presenting the 
captain who was to have charge of us to Margra- 
bowa. I spoke once more to my cook, telling 
her to be careful of her money, that no one 
find it. Also to deliver the money I had left for the 
Russian hospital; not much, but enough to buy a 
week's milk. I saw my boxes — three — were with 
us, and at last knew I was on the road. No one 
intended to hold us back! The little dog Dash 
seemed to know something was happening. I told 
the cook where a bottle of ether stood — and how to 
use it if there came a time when there was no food 
for Dash. 

The officer in charge told my cook to go — it was 
time — and I was all alone with my three children, 



262 THe Journey 

going into a hostile country. As the train steamed 
out, the children caught sight of Pan W., gallantly- 
waving his hat to speed us on our way — I wish I 
knew if he lived through the winter. 

Over the despoiled country we went; no forests 
and no houses — everywhere prisoners were work- 
ing. The captain who had us in charge was so 
tired he could hardly speak. Six weeks he had 
been on the move, with his men. I had noticed 
the men, — grey, young-old — with lined and wearied 
faces. 

Finally reaching Margrabowa, East Prussia, we 
were taken from the military train to the station, 
for the papers had to be examined. In the station, 
we were huddled up in a corner ; there was not even 
a chair to sit upon, though I held Stas in my arms 
■ — the other little children clung to me, for they 
were frightened. We waited and waited, gazed 
at curiously by a lot of quite common people 
gathered there — mostly women and girls in their 
"Sunday clothes" — waiting for the sanitary trains 
to bring the wounded. The children got restless, 
their little legs ached. I whispered to them to sit 
on the floor. After a while, almost dropping with 



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THe Journey 263 

fatigue myself, the children began to cry, to beg 
to go. I forgot, and said, "Hush dearies! the train 
is soon coming — be patient!" Some women back 
of us screamed "Englanderin" at me. I faced 
them saying, ' ' No — Americanerin. " " Alles gleich ' ' 
(All the same). They began to throw things 
at us, to spit upon us. I gathered my children in 
front of me, covering them with my skirts — pray- 
ing for the officer to come. He did come, after a 
century, it seemed to me, pushing our tormentors 
aside. "Take us quickly, Herr Offizier. I prefer 
your soldiers to your women ! " When we got into 
the train I had to scrub off my coat and skirt. 
A long day in the train, the children were miser- 
able, a little hungry and thirsty. Stas was very 
weak. In the evening we reached Insterburg, there 
to change cars. We got a comfortable coupe, 
but were soon made to give it up, for a man 
fancied it. I was forced to yield, though holding 
a first class ticket. After an endless night we 
arrived in Berlin at six o'clock in the morning. 
At the station there were no porters and no cabs. 
The place where I had to stop was near by, fortun- 
ately, but I almost dropped before reaching it. 



264 THe Journey- 

To one unaccustomed, it is difficult to carry a child, 
however light the child may be. 

The "H6tel" was a most awful hole, where the 
police kept constant watch. A young Russian 
interned there, the son of a wealthy Petrograd 
family, was forced to do porter's duty — and glad to 
do so, rather than be in a camp. We were shown 
into a room, musty — "shut up to keep the dust 
out," and after feeding the children — there was 
milk and eggs and butter — I was forced to leave 
them to report myself to the police. 

Thereupon I started upon a weary round — 
Police Headquarters and Commandanture. I was 
told to communicate with my Embassy, and natu- 
rally went to the American! There to be told 
they could do nothing for me; I was a Russian! 
It was hard, that moment, because I had built 
upon having someone help me a little, at least. 
However, there was nothing to do, only go to the 
Spanish Consulate, as they directed me. There I 
was received with the utmost kindness — they 
told me not to worry, my passport would be 
issued ! 

Forced continually to notify the police where I 



THe Journey 265 

wa , it was difficult to do what was necessary. For 
instance, I had to go to the steamship office — con- 
stantly wondering what was happening to my child- 
ren in the care of the woman who owned the 
' ' H6tel ! ' ' Pitifully glad they were to see Mammy 
when I returned to them. That night the police 
captain from the district came to see if I were at 
home, and look through our things. Easy enough 
— the trunks had not come. 

The next morning the same weary round. But 
I was told about noon my passport would be given 
as soon as someone identified me — as an American 
citizen, before my marriage to a Russian Pole. 
My heart was in my boots, but a man from the 
American Consulate knew me. He said he had 
heard me sing The Star Spangled Banner at the 
American Thanksgiving dinner in Berlin about 
nine years back — the year before my marriage! 
It seemed too good to be true ! I remembered that 
dinner, when I had sung to please the American 
doctor, a good friend, who had been disappointed 
in his soloist. My teacher, who was there with wife 
and daughters, persuading me, telling me I had a 
pretty dress, and could sing! That was to save 



266 THe Journey 

us! — The Star Spangled Banner means more than 
a national hymn to me. 

I got my passport, the Consul of Holland viseing 
it. He adjured me not to try to take anything 
through, not the tiniest paper. It would mean a 
fortress for me. Also asking me how I had been 
treated, telling me the consulate was a bit of 
Holland, therefore I dared to speak. I told him 
I was afraid — that the very walls had ears in 
Berlin. Once more I had to report at the Com- 
mandanture, where I was treated with extreme 
severity — questioned sharply — seeing others going 
through the same — English and Russians treated 
like dogs. Finally I was told at eight o'clock the 
next morning my train left for Holland. That 
night, with all settled, I came back to my babies, 
at almost nine o'clock, tired enough to drop! 

The children wished to talk and play after their 
supper, and I was glad to have a respite. Stas was 
better after the change of air. When I started to 
put the two to bed, Wladek wished to play — he 
did not know how tired his mammy was, and ran 
about the room, in and out, between those German 
beds with their feather mountains! The police 



THe Jcmrney 267 

captain opened the door, and I asked him to help 
me. He did — caught Wladek, talked to him, 
played a bit so that all the children got interested, 
and he undressed him, folding up the child's 
clothes in a neat little pile, while I just sat still 
and let him do it! He said: "I am very sorry for 
you, Madame. I have eight children of my own ! " 

After the children were asleep, I still had to 
pack, and rip up Wanda's Teddy bear, which 
contained some very necessary papers and letters. 
One was from the soldiers I had fed, telling differ- 
ent things, almost childish in its simplicity. A 
document or two I was thinking to get through, 
— I destroyed them all, burning them up — once 
more sewing up Teddy's wound. 

That night I did not lie down, haunted by the 
fear of missing the train. At last it was morning, 
and train time. We had food for the journey, even 
ham ! Five marks a pound, butter four. A little 
of each, and bread, and marmalade. The Russian 
boy came to carry our things, and we spoke a 
moment together. He told me of the bread riot 
the day before, where the police had been called 
out. He could only write a few words to his par- 



268 THe Journey 

ents, and always feared what might be done to 
him. 

My bill rather staggered me, thirty marks a day ! 
At last we were on the way. Good-bye to Berlin ! 
I left there a lot of photographs which I never 
expect to see again, afraid to take them to the 
boundary. Another long day in the train — most 
of the time with the curtains down! Just before 
Bentheim, I saw a party of English and Belgian 
prisoners working by the roadside. The train 
stopped, but they did not even look up — emaci- 
ated, ragged, without enough life left in them to 
feel interest in anything about them. I longed to 
help them, but must not even look as if I would 
— it was too dangerous for us. 

At Bentheim, thanks to my Red Cross certi- 
ficate, I was taken first. They expected me, of 
course! We were undressed — every inch of skin 
examined by a woman who threw our clothes out 
to the officers on duty. It is humiliating to have 
one's hair combed for fear something might be 
written on the scalp. The children got very cross 
and insulted. 

We looked like rag-bags after that examination 



THe Journey 269 

— ragged, with the linings torn out of hats, boots, 
coats. I begged hard to keep the papers shown in 
Suwalki. They finally consented to send them to 
the steamer along with my prayer-book. My 
card plate and seal were also objects of suspicion 
— but after much discussion, were also sent. The 
trunks had not arrived, and I was told they likely 
would not! Asked what they contained, I told 
them "furs, clothes, and linen" — "Furs and linen 
are confiscated in occupied territory. " My clothes 
might be recovered after the war was over ! 

The poor children were so exhausted by the 
waiting in the station that when we finally got into 
the train, I hardly recognized that the last point of 
resistance was overcome — that in a few minutes 
we would be out of German territory! When we 
were actually in Holland, I was seized with such 
a violent fit of trembling, it seemed as if I would 
drop to pieces ; but as usual, and my salvation, the 
children needed me, and were hungry. 

We were free ! To breathe free air once more — 
no longer told what to do and what not. To no 
longer see prisoners — helpless to help them. To 
have food — white bread for the children. What it 



270 THe Journey- 

all meant to me ! Seven whole months of captivity 
had made me appreciate freedom. I was still 
without word from my husband, but now I could 
send a telegram to Petrograd, letting him know we 
were alive, though on our way to America — for I 
had given my word. 



CHAPTER XXXVI 



FREEDOM I 

They had told me in Berlin where to stop in 
Rotterdam, but it was far from my intention to do 
so — I wanted to be as far as possible from the 
sight of a German face, or the sound of a German 
voice. On the train, a gentleman, who was travel- 
ling with his three daughters, told me of a quiet 
hotel near the station. There, in that peaceful 
spot, with the windows overlooking the canal 
we had our first rest. 

Arriving late at night, it was all I could do to 

get the children to bed with the help of the chamber 

maid. Oh! how tired I was, body and soul — my 

tears would flow — it was impossible to stop them. 

In the morning how strange it was to wake without 

that gripping sense of fear — fear of the Death 

which had been our companion through the 

271 



272 Freedom ! 

months ! My ill boy was so much better that he 
was able to stand on his feet, and a kindly porter 
carried him down to breakfast. 

When the children saw heaps of rolls and honey 
they were delighted, Wanda asking me "if they 
might have as much as they wanted or if it was for 
tomorrow!" Poor little mites, after all they had 
gone through, what a delight it was to see them 
once more eating the food they needed and desired. 
In Suwalki we often had had enough food, for the 
time, but we had never known if it would be possible 
to buy more. 

Immediately after breakfast, the porter accom- 
panied us to the Russian Consulate, sitting in the 
fiacre with the children, and amusing them while I 
was busy. At last I saw Russians who were free! 
What a tremendous event that visit was for me! 
The Consul was most kind and sympathetic, 
immediately sending a telegram through the 
Foreign Office at The Hague, to Petrograd, with 
the information that we were all alive and well, 
and on our way to America. I gave as our address 
the Russian Consulate in New York. The Consul 
thought it would be well to wait in Rotterdam 



Freedom ! 273 

for an answer, but I felt the necessity of keeping 
my word to sail on the 18th. 

Those three days in Holland were like bits of 
Heaven for me; the peace, — the quietness! I felt 
as if I were dreaming, that in no place in the world 
was such peace. It seemed curious to see every- 
thing standing where it should be, and order every- 
where. For seven months I had lived without real 
privacy — there had never been a moment when 
someone, if he would, could not march in upon us 
sleeping or waking. After the crushing and grind- 
ing of the Prussian war machine, it took a little 
time to adjust one's thoughts and ideas. 

There was one more visit to the Russian Con- 
sulate before sailing. This time I was able to think 
of the troubles of others, not only of our own, and 
reported the case of the Russian boy in Berlin, 
thinking thus to let the boy's parents know what 
was happening — also, of the hard lot of one 
of the Russian doctors. This doctor was a 
surgeon-general, captured near Wilkowiszki, just 
about the time Suwalki was taken. Made to work 
incessantly, without comfort of any description, 

the doctor had done his duty by the prisoners 
is 



274 Freedom ! 

manfully, often raising his voice in protest over 
some especially glaring piece of brutality. He was 
terribly worn out and in bad physical condition 
when the order was issued that all in the town must 
be inoculated with typhus serum. The doctor, 
having had typhus, naturally refused. There- 
upon, the German surgeon-in-chief of the Russian 
hospital, the man who had so brutally operated 
upon my little son's hand, ordered the soldiers to 
seize and hold him. The Russian begged to be 
inoculated upon the leg, but it was not permitted, 
the surgeon-in-chief inoculating him in the breast. 
After having had such indignity put upon him, 
his clothes having been torn off by the soldiers 
holding him during the inoculation, the Russian 
doctor was tried by court-martial for insubordina- 
tion, and because he said it was a disgrace to the 
German army to do such things, sentenced to two 
years at hard labour. 

On the 1 8th of September, in the evening, we 
sailed from Rotterdam, leaving Holland, which 
had literally been a land of milk and honey for 
us. We had few clothes, for I feared to spend 
my money before hearing from my husband. 



Freedom ! 275 

I was put to remarkable straits many times, being 
forced to wear my Red Cross uniform which had 
been in the week-end bag we were fortunate enough 
to bring through. On the steamer I found three 
photographs, my prayer-book, and the baptismal 
certificates of my children, sent from Bentheim 
by the German authorities. 

Among the people on the voyage was an Ameri- 
can Red Cross Unit returning from Germany. 
The sisters were so hopelessly pro-German there 
was small satisfaction in their companionship for 
me. The doctor from Columbus, Ohio, was not, 
and was a most kind friend all the long way over. 
He looked into the state of the children's health, 
finding all surprisingly well, and a need only for 
quiet for the nerves and proper food for the body. 
The doctor helped me over many difficult moments. 
The nearer we got to America the more alone I 
felt. I imagined all sorts of things; not a living 
soul knew where we were, whether we lived or 
not! The position was not an easy one for the 
mother of three small, helpless children. 

Finally, the long journey was at an end ! and on 
the dock some Germans met me, two women and 



276 Freedom ! 

a man. How they knew about me and my story 
has remained a mystery, but they did — offering 
effusively to help me — recommending an H6tel, 
etc. ! It struck a chill to my soul, that reception 
of theirs ! That they should follow me, even in the 
Land of the Free ! Perhaps it was a kindness after 
all, for I did not have time to think, — to contrast 
what had been and what was! The "Dear 
American Doctor," as the children called the Red 
Cross surgeon, had advised me to go to a certain 
H6tel for "ladies," and we did so, just as fast as 
possible. We were a curiosity at that H6tel! 
Where no man might come; mostly inhabited by 
ladies who would have been quite safe wherever 
they were. We were given a room on what I 
suppose is their "bomb-proof" floor, for there 
were many pianos played with varying skill, 
much singing, and a strong smell of cooking. But, 
I felt what a criminal thing it was to have three 
children. They looked at us so severely, and if one 
of the children made a sound someone knocked 
on the door. I wished then we were not in such 
a protected atmosphere. I would willingly have 
faced a German or two in preference. There had 



Freedom ! 277 

been a purpose in my direction to that H6tel, 
however, for there I found a friend. If the "ladies' 
H6tel" had been like others, I should have had a 
pitcher of ice water brought to my room. As it 
was, I had to fetch it for myself, taking all three 
children with me, not daring to leave them alone 
for fear they would fall out of the window. And 
there I met a friend! who immediately got some- 
one to help me with my children, that I might be 
free to go about. 

We went all together to see if a cablegram had 
come for us. None was there, and none came until 
the 15th of October. How long, endlessly long, 
that time seemed! I could not adjust myself to 
life in America. It was such a change! The big 
buildings, after living in devastated Poland, terri- 
fied me — it seemed as if an aeroplane must peep 
over the top of one and drop a bomb on us. The 
people in their hurrying rush tired me! After a 
while, when I began to meet people, and find my 
friends and relatives once more, their indifference 
was almost more than I could bear. I felt like 
crying out, — asking them if they realized what was 
happening over in war-ridden Europe, — begging 



278 Freedom ! 

them to send help to those with whom I had lived 
and suffered. 

Someone asked me once how much to believe 
of the newspaper reports — how much to subtract 
from the sum of all they said! I answered, "Mul- 
tiply by twenty, then you will have a faint idea of 
what is happening in Poland!" In Poland, the 
conqueror is without any restraint and lacks 
totally mercy or pity. There they fear no one, 
for none are there to report except those who look 
through the Prussian glasses. In Belgium, people 
see and know what is going on — they are not cut 
off from the world. But who knows of the execu- 
tions, the imprisonments inflicted upon the Poles? 
Yet I know it is the daily meat and drink of the 
Kultur trdger to punish, punish, punish ! To grind 
the people into the earth — to stamp all semblance 
of humanity from their faces, so that they tremble 
at the sound of a Prussian boot. I often think of 
how the pet dogs were put to death in Suwalki — 
I have dreamed of it at night — what would hold 
them back from doing the same to the people? 
How many women have hung themselves rather 
than endure their shame. As if all this were not 




o 



* a 



Freedom! 279 

enough, the crowning injustice has been put upon 
the people; they are sold rum to finish them, lest 
one should escape ! That was the only thing which 
was cheap when I left there. And the peasants 
were already sodden and stupefied with the stuff 
sold them; the privilege of selling, eagerly sought 
by the Jews, was looked upon as a sure source of 
revenue by the Germans. 

Powerless to help, it is maddening for me to 
think of all that happens in Poland, for, under the 
present circumstances, no help is possible, nothing 
can reach them. Of what use is one tiny crumb 
of bread when all the crops are taken, the people 
turned into slaves? The women, those of them 
who have escaped a worse fate, are compelled to 
labour for the Prussians — made to wash for them, 
cook for them — even ladies do not escape! How 
hard is their lot, their children gone, swept away 
by disease and hunger. Yet many live on! 
through the endless grey days, without light, 
without fuel, in hopeless misery. If a thought of 
release stirs them, breaking the grey monotony, 
if some rumour comes to them that the Germans 
are "getting it, " their lot is infinitely more dread- 



280 Freedom ! 

ful. For their momentary vision of release, how 
great the price! 

In this great, free America, under the protection 
of the "Star Spangled Banner," which saved our 
lives in the country of the enemy, I constantly 
think of those people in Poland — that gallant 
country, the martyr of the ages! Has she no right 
for "the pursuit of happiness"? I believe her day 
is coming! Those who have lived through the 
terror of Death and devastation shall see their 
country rise from the ashes of her burned homes. 
There will be only a great emptiness, with no 
forests, no homes except the roofless empty ruins, 
dotted about the country. I doubt if even Warsaw 
will escape, when the day comes, as it inevitably 
must, that the Kultur trager hurries towards his 
own borders, there to intrench, lest the destruc- 
tion they have brought upon others be meted 
out to them. 

As for the Poles, they have the wonderful 
Slavonic nature; those who live will quickly 
respond to the best medicine in the world — Hope! 
Let them only have a chance ! In my vision of the 
future I see them, patiently building, working, 



Freedom ! 281 

even dancing once more the mazur! For they 
have a wonderful quality as a people. 

This is the only thought which helps me to live 
through these days of war, knowing the near and 
dear ones of my husband are going through hor- 
rors similar to those my children and I suffered, 
only worse. For his mother and sisters, there in a 
spot far distant from Suwalki, cannot call upon the 
"Star Spangled Banner" for protection. 

As for us, here in America so blessed of God, we 
are waiting the end of the war.. Protected and 
kept through so many dangers and trials, I know 
we shall be reunited. 

The war must end sometime ! 

We have grown to be very patient, making few 
demands on life. Few? Ah no! We ask the only 
things worth having or living for! Peace and 
health, and to be reunited with those we love ! 

To be with those we love, to serve those about 
us, that is all there is in life! Possessions do not 
matter, we can live without them, but every 
human being needs Peace — Peace of soul and 
country. 

THE END 



The 
Way of the Cross 

By 
Doroshevitch 

With an Introductory Note by Stephen Graham 
12°. $1.25 

A breathless, desperate narrative of 
the fugitives fleeing before the oncom- 
ing German hosts. Yet there is that 
Christian mysticism that can see in the 
white crosses over the fugitives' graves 
" Georgian crosses on the breast of the 
suffering earth." The Georgian is, of 
course, the Russian equivalent of the 
English Victorian Gross, given for 
valor and self-sacrifice. 



G. P. Putnam's Sons 

New York London 



War and Christianity 

From the Russian Point of View 
Three Conversations 

By 
Vladimir Solovyof 

With an Introduction by 
Stephen Graham 

IT. $150 net 

Solovyof, who died in 1901, is Russia's 
greatest philosopher and one of the greatest 
of her poets. In national culture he owned 
Dostoevsky as. his prophet, and with him is 
one of the spiritual leaders of the Russian 
people. In this volume he combats Tolstoy- 
ism and positivism, expressing the trust in 
spiritual power which was his deepest faith. 

G. P. Putnam's Sons 

New York London 



The Backwash of War 

The Human Wreckage of the 
Battlefield as Witnessed by 
an American Hospital Nurse 

By 

Ellen N. La Motte 

16°. Price, $1.00 

Miss La Motte here shows us war of 
to-day, not magnificent and glorious, 
but naked and loathsome, as seen in an 
evacuation hospital but a few miles be- 
hind the French lines. These sketches 
are not cheerful reading, but they are all 
faithfully true, first-hand reports from 
the front, written in the bitterness of the 
moment, not by an hysterical assistant 
but by a trained scientist of world- 
wide reputation. 



G. P. Putnam's Sons 

New York London 



The 

People Who Run 

By 
Violetta Thurstan 

Author of "Field Hospital and Flying Column" 
Crown 8vo. $1.00 

A vivid account of the tragedy which 
overtook the Russian civilian population 
during the German advance. The title 
of the book is taken from the Russian 
word for refugees, "Bajantze," meaning 
The people who run. 

G. P. Putnam's Sons 

New York London 



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